Would you date someone who does not drive

[Dancemom1]

Would it put you off from dating someone if you found out they didn’t drive?
after a nice first date with a man (40)
i found out he didn’t drive.
i do drive myself and couldn’t be without my car as i have w busy life with kids.
he has no kids so its a bit different.
he also lives around a 20 min drive away.

No way on earth unless he was disabled or blind.

Depends - live in a city, no problem
Has medical reason he can't drive - no problem
Expects to give you lifts anywhere and everywhere at no notice - massive problem

I have ended up living rurally with a non-driving DH. It's fine, just needs a bit of planning

I do wonder what plans some people have in place when they are so reliant on cars should they ever find themselves in a situation where they cannot for some reason drive. It seems quite a precarious position to put oneself in.

Maybe if he had a chauffeur or private pilot in his staff I would think about it but would still think he should be actually able to drive. (Unless he was physically unable through no fault of his own)

It’s not an obsession with driving. I like to go to places that are often not accessible via public transport, I’d want anyone I was in a serious relationship with to have similar interests, want similar holidays etc.
If they’ve chosen never to learn to drive, it would suggest they aren’t interested in those things. Which is fine, my interests aren’t superior to theirs. But probably not the person I want to be with.

Not relevant to OP’s situation, but when I was single, I wouldn’t have wanted to get into a long term relationship with a view to having children with someone who was happy for me to always be the one driving children around. In the same way I wouldn’t want to be with someone who chose to leave any chore for me to do exclusively by myself.

I would just wonder about them, it’s like saying they can’t write. What’s that about?

As I don’t drive myself, I’d be pretty hypocritical not to!

It really isn’t, you know. I have four degrees and write for a living, but can’t drive.

It would be an issue for me. Being able to share the driving on long trips, holidays etc. is important to me.

Yes i have done.
I dont drive and ive had dates, makes no differents to me.
Im looking to get to know the person not what hes driving.

The price of the world im sure many cant afford to drive.

This in spades. My friend's daughter is with a man who can't drive/won't drive (she's 33 and he's 35.) He won't drive as he 'doesn't need to.' Shops, GP, dentist etc are in walking distance, and he gets the bus to work. She makes out she didn't really care, when they started dating in 2022, as she 'loves driving. '

Four years on, they're engaged to be married in Spring 2027 (they got engaged Autumn 2025,) and it's starting to wear her down. Every visit to every friend and relative, every social event, theatre visit, concert, day out, hospital appointment, etc etc, she is driving, always, no matter how tired and weary she is. She can also never drink as she is always the designated driver. She's mentioned it to him several times that he could think about learning to drive, but he shakes his head every time, and says she knew what he was when they met, and that he was never going to drive.

She is literally reconsidering marrying him, and is very reluctant to have children with him. Everything will be down to her that involves driving. Every last thing involving the children, from appointments to school stuff, uni, college, medical appointments, going to their mates if they live more than a mile or two away, the works.

Just no. No way. I would have no time for a man who can't be fucked to even try to pass his driving test.

I definitely wouldn’t date you then.😂

Unless you physically can’t, then you can.

Probably not

Exactly. Sharing the driving is very important. Imagine being on a long drive - 5-6 hours or more, and the person with you can't take over if you get tired and weary...

He should be paying for taxis when it's his turn to "drive".

No unless they were wealthy enough to be able to afford a taxi when it was his ‘turn’ to drive - ie à meal out or day out

No I am not a taxi

Can’t, do you mean physically can’t ?

Not an automatic deal breaker but other considerations need to be taken into account.

It’s completely illogical to describe the group of people who can use any transport (public transport, walking, cycling, and driving) as being in more of a precarious situation than people who can use fewer modes of transport because they don’t drive.

My DH can’t drive due to a (non-mobility related) disability. His ability to get around is more limited than mine.

I don’t need plans in place for if I couldn’t drive. It’s not something that requires pre-planning. It would just be a pain in the arse because, as an example, getting to work would take over an hour, vs 20 mins. Same for a sports activity that my DDs do. Or to get to the dentist.

DH thankfully doesn’t have to go into the office often but when he does, it’s two buses, plus two 20 min walks. Takes 90 mins overall. Insane to call that a less precarious situation - if he loses his job, his options for new ones would be hampered by his reliance on public transport.

a non-driver wouldn’t put me off but it would really put me off if he then expected me to fetch & carry him. I might offer to pick him up occasionally if he was hilarious and a great guy though.

Exactly!! Surely the more ways you can travel means you are in a better position if there is an issue with transport.

How would you ever know what he looks like when he puts his arm behind the passenger seat when reversing?? That’s a huge turn on. I’d hate to miss out on that.

this could become problematic in the future

be wary

@3luckystars

🤣