Active discussions

Help protect children from gaming harms.

Take our survey

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Would you date a bisexual man?

288 replies

Chunkychips1234 · 05/09/2026 19:09

I'm looking for a bit of advice on whether I should pursue a relationship with a man I used to work with.

He was crazy about me (I don't know why) when we used to work together years ago. He was in his 20s, a bit wild but he was a laugh. I liked him as a person and he was so sweet to me but the fact that he's bisexual put me off him. It was just too weird for me to deal with. I left that workplace coming up for 5 years ago and haven't seen him since.

I've recently bumped into him in the park and he's lost weight, looking healthier and gotten a new job. He was very happy to see me and being very nice. He told me that he hasn't stopped thinking about me since. He wants to take me out. I gave him my Instagram and he told me that he'd message me when he got home.

Should I just go on a date with him and see how it goes? He seems more mature and relaxed these days, I'm getting older now and can't afford to be too picky in the dating market. However I just don't know if I can overlook his sexuality. 😔

OP posts:
fiveyo · 05/09/2026 20:47

Chunkychips1234 · 05/09/2026 20:39

I'm not desperate and don't act desperate but I do like to banter with some of the men at work. Maybe they take it as flirting? To me it's not.

I don't actively pursue men, I fact I don't think I try hard enough to actually do some dating and find someone. However I'm conscious that I'm now in my mid 30s and my options are getting more limited.

Show quote history

I understand. I’m sorry I jumped to the wrong assumption. If you are not actively turned off by this guys sexual preferences then I would date him. I wouldn’t assume he was promiscuous or particularly sexually focused just based on the fact that he is bi.

hotmumshit · 05/09/2026 20:48

Be careful, I got bullied on mumsnet by a gay guy for saying something similar

Didimum · 05/09/2026 20:49

Happyjoe · 05/09/2026 20:43

Does it though? It's personal preference and that's allowed. They may not be against the other person doing what they want, which if they were would be bigoted, but to not want to be involved is a preference.

Show quote history

Of course it’s a preference and of course it’s allowed. It doesn’t mean the aversion isn’t rooted in homophobia though. Both can be true.

Ellaelle · 05/09/2026 20:51

Definitely a hard NO for me I've always thought a bisexual man is soft launching being full gay!

Elisabeth3468 · 05/09/2026 20:54

Absolutely not. I'd be worried about many things, STI's for one but also the thoughts that he's been with men would be a no for me.

wheelywheelynice · 05/09/2026 20:56

Nope.

HoldMyWine · 05/09/2026 20:57

No I couldn’t.

Biscuitsforbreakfastt · 05/09/2026 20:59

Didimum · 05/09/2026 20:33

Yes, I would and I have.

These threads always go the same though. A big heap of homophobia.

Absolutely. Some of the comments are wildly homophobic, but unsurprising on MN tbh.

IDasIX · 05/09/2026 21:01

Crushed23 · 05/09/2026 20:33

There is absolutely nothing “homophobic” about getting the ick at the thought of one’s husband being fucked by another man. No more than it is heterophobic to get the ick at the thought of another woman fucking one’s husband. Both ideas are a complete nonsense.

Show quote history

Would you only marry a virgin then?

Greenseacat · 05/09/2026 21:03

Ellaelle · 05/09/2026 20:51

Definitely a hard NO for me I've always thought a bisexual man is soft launching being full gay!

This thread really is mind-blowing.

No one has to date a bisexual person if they don't wish to, but the amount of nonsense and ignorance is staggering.

  • Some people are bisexual. It certainly is not a rehearsal to go 'full gay'...
  • Being bisexual does not mean you can't be happy in a monogamous, long term relationship with one person
  • Being bi-sexual does not mean you are 'promiscuous' or don't care about STIs
  • Responding to the concept of bisexuality with comments like 'yuk' is just so immature and pathetic.

I mean it is like reading some homophobic material from the 1950s or something.

Frankly I will take a bisexual over a bigot.

Biscuitsforbreakfastt · 05/09/2026 21:04

Pallisers · 05/09/2026 20:45

I don't think there is anything amusing about someone dating/being married to someone who is hiding a huge part of themselves.

Show quote history

It’s the irony that’s amusing.

Mycatisfab · 05/09/2026 21:05

No. Don't fancy having sex with a willy that's been up another man's bottom.

Biscuitsforbreakfastt · 05/09/2026 21:05

Greenseacat · 05/09/2026 21:03

This thread really is mind-blowing.

No one has to date a bisexual person if they don't wish to, but the amount of nonsense and ignorance is staggering.

  • Some people are bisexual. It certainly is not a rehearsal to go 'full gay'...
  • Being bisexual does not mean you can't be happy in a monogamous, long term relationship with one person
  • Being bi-sexual does not mean you are 'promiscuous' or don't care about STIs
  • Responding to the concept of bisexuality with comments like 'yuk' is just so immature and pathetic.

I mean it is like reading some homophobic material from the 1950s or something.

Frankly I will take a bisexual over a bigot.

Show quote history

Could not agree more. The attitudes on here are unbelievably closed minded and bigoted.

Didimum · 05/09/2026 21:09

Mycatisfab · 05/09/2026 21:05

No. Don't fancy having sex with a willy that's been up another man's bottom.

Maybe you’d just fancy the bottoms then.

weavingrugs · 05/09/2026 21:11

No, not in a million years.

Biscuitsforbreakfastt · 05/09/2026 21:14

Mycatisfab · 05/09/2026 21:05

No. Don't fancy having sex with a willy that's been up another man's bottom.

Maybe it’s never been up another man’s bottom; maybe he likes having a Willy up his own bottom. Can’t imagine being so anal about such details (pun intended)…

edit: typo

BaronessEllarawrosaurus · 05/09/2026 21:16

Yes I'm married to one. My youngest dc is also bisexual, its slightly worrying just how judgemental someone people are.

He sounds like an arse but that's him not his bisexuality.

ruethewhirl · 05/09/2026 21:20

Those who are saying a flat out no - is it because you presume a bi person is more likely to cheat or sleep around?

ruethewhirl · 05/09/2026 21:22

Mycatisfab · 05/09/2026 21:05

No. Don't fancy having sex with a willy that's been up another man's bottom.

You do realise not all gay/bi men have anal sex (either way round), right?

RubyHiker · 05/09/2026 21:22

No I wouldn't either. Doubled by the fact he didn't seem particularly respectful when flirting with you while in a relationship.

NatashaSparaks · 05/09/2026 21:22

Greenseacat · 05/09/2026 21:03

This thread really is mind-blowing.

No one has to date a bisexual person if they don't wish to, but the amount of nonsense and ignorance is staggering.

  • Some people are bisexual. It certainly is not a rehearsal to go 'full gay'...
  • Being bisexual does not mean you can't be happy in a monogamous, long term relationship with one person
  • Being bi-sexual does not mean you are 'promiscuous' or don't care about STIs
  • Responding to the concept of bisexuality with comments like 'yuk' is just so immature and pathetic.

I mean it is like reading some homophobic material from the 1950s or something.

Frankly I will take a bisexual over a bigot.

Show quote history

Thank you.

Unbelievable amount of ignorance and biphobia on this thread.

Biscuitsforbreakfastt · 05/09/2026 21:24

BaronessEllarawrosaurus · 05/09/2026 21:16

Yes I'm married to one. My youngest dc is also bisexual, its slightly worrying just how judgemental someone people are.

He sounds like an arse but that's him not his bisexuality.

It is worrying. My partner and I are bi. One of my DC is bi. I think my circle is so chilled and open minded, I’m always shocked and disgusted by the attitudes and comments you find on MN. It is a cesspit at times.

Crushed23 · 05/09/2026 21:25

IDasIX · 05/09/2026 21:01

Would you only marry a virgin then?

Show quote history

No, because there are different types of icky. One is related to sexual attraction - I am not sexually attracted to non-heterosexual men therefore non-heterosexual sex doesn’t do it for me. Be it men fucking men or women fucking women. Just like I am not sexually attracted to men who engage in threesomes/group sex or who are into hardcore BDSM (I have come across both of these types, with both men being heterosexual too, I might add, and they didn’t do it for me at all). The other is just an uncomfortable thought - I don’t like to think about DH with his exes. He’s my husband, it’s in the past, etc.

blankcanvas3 · 05/09/2026 21:27

Yes because I’m not homophobic

FaceIt · 05/09/2026 21:28

Biscuitsforbreakfastt · 05/09/2026 21:24

It is worrying. My partner and I are bi. One of my DC is bi. I think my circle is so chilled and open minded, I’m always shocked and disgusted by the attitudes and comments you find on MN. It is a cesspit at times.

Show quote history

Why is it worrying?

AREN’T WE ALLOWED OUR OWN OPINIONS??

Stop being so utterly patronising.

Swipe left for the next trending thread