Would you date a bisexual man?

[Chunkychips1234]

I'm looking for a bit of advice on whether I should pursue a relationship with a man I used to work with.

He was crazy about me (I don't know why) when we used to work together years ago. He was in his 20s, a bit wild but he was a laugh. I liked him as a person and he was so sweet to me but the fact that he's bisexual put me off him. It was just too weird for me to deal with. I left that workplace coming up for 5 years ago and haven't seen him since.

I've recently bumped into him in the park and he's lost weight, looking healthier and gotten a new job. He was very happy to see me and being very nice. He told me that he hasn't stopped thinking about me since. He wants to take me out. I gave him my Instagram and he told me that he'd message me when he got home.

Should I just go on a date with him and see how it goes? He seems more mature and relaxed these days, I'm getting older now and can't afford to be too picky in the dating market. However I just don't know if I can overlook his sexuality. 😔

No. That’s along the lines of calling lesbians transphobic for not wanting to date a trans woman. Everyone is entitled to say no to a relationship they don’t don’t feel comfortable with.

My experience of Bi men is based on years of observing their behaviour on the gay scene where I worked.
Admittedly I think men that tend to gravitate towards the gay scene do tend to be more promiscuous than men that don't and I had many conversations with both gay and bi men over the years about this and they agreed.

So based on my experience of bi men I wouldn't date one because I've observed some very risky and promiscuous behaviour from men that told me they had female partners back home.

Conversations with gay friends as to why they wouldn't date a bi man were that they didn't want them because of the promiscuity and the fact they would also sleep with women and gay men don't want that. I'm sure you'd say they were entitled to feel that way. Or maybe you'd say the gay men were being homophobic?
Either way it seems gay men get more of a choice than women do before names are called.

Women are entitled to not want a relationship for any reason they choose.

It’s not like that at all though.

The question was asked and I answered giving my reason. I personally would never date a bisexual man as I believe it's a prelude to coming out as full gay. Nothing bigoted about that

Pretty ignorant at the very least. I’ve been bisexual for many many years and somehow managed to not catch the full gay.

That's just ridiculous.

Some people are attracted to men and women.

That's not a ''prelude to coming out as full gay''.

What you believe is absolute nonsense.

I am 55 and I have been attracted to men and women throughout my life. I am not going to suddenly wake up one day and be a lesbian...

The fact that so many people seem to think that bisexuals don't exist and are just some kind of gays in waiting, although many people on this thread have pointed out that they are bi, is just bizarre to me.

That hasn't been the case for years not! I believe the only relevant prohibition is having had anal sex with a new partner (sex irrelevant) or having just taken a course of prep. The sexuality clauses were removed years ago as they were clearly homophobic.

You are showing your ignorance and bigotry more and more with each post you make.

Absolutely not. Horrific.

This. I'm bisexual and have manged to never cheat on anyone. Because that's a shitty thing to do.

👏

I’m actually amazed at the replies on here. I’m not in the market for a relationship (married for 35 years) but so long as the other person has the same attitude as me towards relationships, then the man having had previous relationships with men wouldn’t matter.

For me, monogamy is important. If I’m in a relationship with someone, I expect them to be faithful so previous partners, regardless of sex, wouldn’t come in to the equation.

Quite.

No. You can’t help who you’re attracted to and either way it’s an entirely personal choice who you decide to be in a relationship with, sexual or otherwise. I’d have thought this goes without saying.

Out of curiosity, can I ask why? Obviously no need to answer if the question makes you uncomfortable

I'm bi but I would never consider a bi man. I don't do butt stuff so I would be worried that a man who likes either giving or receiving anal to another man would want anal at some point.

Sexual attraction is the one time you can be as discriminatory as you like. If you aren't attracted to him, don't feel obliged to date him just because he is nice.

People can reject whoever they want, without being called names, FGS. I am 56. I wouldn't date a 56 year old man who had just come out of a relationship with an 18 year old woman, as that would give me serious reservations. What "phobic" does that make me?

I also wouldn't date

A man who was bisexual
A man into BDSM
A man with one leg
A man shorter than me
A man who was skinny
A man with no money
A man who was smelly
A man with no teeth
A man with no job
A man who lived in a tent
A man who doesn't like to travel
A man mean with money
A man with little kids
A man with a criminal record
A man who does drugs
A man who has 10 cats
A man who dresses like Laurence Llewelyn Bowen
A man who can't spell
A man who doesn't clean his teeth

I could list hundreds of other things that would stop me dating someone.

My life, my choice.

No one, but no one, gets to tell women they are "phobic" anything, when we are choosing who to let into our hearts, beds and lives. So knock it off.

Some these comments have a whiff of the cotton ceiling

No.

They are indeed. It's when people use reductive/insulting generalisations and make ill-informed assumptions that things become problematic.

Nope

Indeed people can reject whoever they want and date whoever you want.

BUT what is not acceptable is to make inaccurate statements about gay and bi people on this thread such as claiming that bisexuals are just gays in denial, that they are by definition promiscuous/unfaithful, don't care about safe sex or to use words such as 'yuk', 'grim' or 'horrific'.

Because that is insulting, ignorant and unacceptable.

So why were you calling me out?

What do you think my opinion is?