Would you date a bisexual man?

[Chunkychips1234]

I'm looking for a bit of advice on whether I should pursue a relationship with a man I used to work with.

He was crazy about me (I don't know why) when we used to work together years ago. He was in his 20s, a bit wild but he was a laugh. I liked him as a person and he was so sweet to me but the fact that he's bisexual put me off him. It was just too weird for me to deal with. I left that workplace coming up for 5 years ago and haven't seen him since.

I've recently bumped into him in the park and he's lost weight, looking healthier and gotten a new job. He was very happy to see me and being very nice. He told me that he hasn't stopped thinking about me since. He wants to take me out. I gave him my Instagram and he told me that he'd message me when he got home.

Should I just go on a date with him and see how it goes? He seems more mature and relaxed these days, I'm getting older now and can't afford to be too picky in the dating market. However I just don't know if I can overlook his sexuality. 😔

I feel very strongly that hard/blanket nos when it comes to sexual partnership are absolutely fine to have, but I think expressing that with an "eurgh, disgusting!" sentiment is pretty horrible. I would be able to express that I am not interested in X sort of men or Y sort of men without speaking about them as objects of disgust, having done nothing wrong (and I'm really a dreadful misandrist)

No, I was asking. Dating a bisexual man wouldn’t bother me.
It does genuinely seem that the reasons people are giving for not liking the idea of it are in a large part homophobic. Believing bi people are more likely to cheat, More likely to have an STD, getting the ick visualising their boyfriend with a man…
feels anti-gay tbh

It isn't any sort of -ism/-phobia to not want to date/have sex with any group of people. It is an -ism/-phobia to say "eurgh yuck" in reference to that group of people.

To me, it is homophobic to equate taking it in the ass/bottoming with effeminacy. It comes from a very outdated place of projecting hetero dynamics onto gay relationships to try and figure out who "takes" and who is "the woman" - very weird and prurient really.

I’m not sure (FWIW I wouldn’t give a blanket ‘no’).

is it racist to say you wouldn’t date someone of X ethnicity because you aren’t attached to them? It might indicate an underlying racism, for sure, but not necessarily, I wouldn’t think.

I guess I don’t think we need to be attracted to everyone to not be considered a bigot.

No. I wouldn't go there.

Years ago I went on dates with a charmer who eventually told me he was bi, he took me into a gay club to tell me! It took me a few moments to get my head around it, then I asked if he was into being faithful to me while we were dating - he said of course, but he may have some one night stands with men but they would mean nothing.
I thanked him for being honest and ended it. He took it very badly and was quite nasty, telling me I was judgemental, closed minded. As MN's say, dodged a bullet.

I would. But in the same way I would if dating a straight guy, I would want to know what his thoughts are on monogamy. Men fuck around, straight, gay, bi. I am not up for that.

But in principle, sure.

If someone said "I'm not attracted to people of X ethnicity" I'd think that was a bit of a weird thing to say, but I wouldn't necessarily think they were racist. If they said "Ew yuck, people of X ethnicity are disgusting", I probably would think they were racist".

I agree.

’Not for me‘ is everyone’s choice.

“Yuck”, “Eurgh” etc. expresses a judgment on the persons sexual preferences. That’s bigoted.

I totally agree

Having had the living shit traumatised out of me by unfaithful heterosexual men, I would personally assess people's fidelity on a case-by-case basis. My rule is that if you're fucking anyone else, I sure as hell don't want you fucking me, therefore I don't really care about the sexes and genders of the people hypothetically concerned.

No I wouldn’t

No I wouldn’t it would be a complete turn off for me. Nothing to do with thinking they’d be promiscuous or anything like that.

Yes, I would and I have.

These threads always go the same though. A big heap of homophobia.

There is absolutely nothing “homophobic” about getting the ick at the thought of one’s husband being fucked by another man. No more than it is heterophobic to get the ick at the thought of another woman fucking one’s husband. Both ideas are a complete nonsense.

These don’t sound like bi-sexual specific issues to be honest. You do (without sounding mean) sound a bit desperate, which is unlikely to be the foundation for a good relationship.

No. Would feel seedy.

Fucking hell, I hope no bisexual men are reading this thread!

That would be me then. Dicks that have been up a man's arse don't do.it for me. Yuk.

Absolutely not. For me it’s just a big turn off

I'm not desperate and don't act desperate but I do like to banter with some of the men at work. Maybe they take it as flirting? To me it's not.

I don't actively pursue men, I fact I don't think I try hard enough to actually do some dating and find someone. However I'm conscious that I'm now in my mid 30s and my options are getting more limited.

Totally agree. Quite shocked 😲. No.discussion or reasoning just a straight no. That alone tells it's own tale.

I personally couldn’t date a bisexual man.

It’s the thought that he likes penis and has probably had a number of them up his arse (sorry).

I know some people wouldn’t care, but it would be a big no from me.

Does it though? It's personal preference and that's allowed. They may not be against the other person doing what they want, which if they were would be bigoted, but to not want to be involved is a preference.

I don't think there is anything amusing about someone dating/being married to someone who is hiding a huge part of themselves.

OP Mumsnet is not the place to ask about dating bisexual people...

The comments you get on this topic are unfortunately incredibly ignorant and judgemental.

If you like that person and are attracted to him then I don't see what the issue is.