Would you date a bisexual man?

[Chunkychips1234]

I'm looking for a bit of advice on whether I should pursue a relationship with a man I used to work with.

He was crazy about me (I don't know why) when we used to work together years ago. He was in his 20s, a bit wild but he was a laugh. I liked him as a person and he was so sweet to me but the fact that he's bisexual put me off him. It was just too weird for me to deal with. I left that workplace coming up for 5 years ago and haven't seen him since.

I've recently bumped into him in the park and he's lost weight, looking healthier and gotten a new job. He was very happy to see me and being very nice. He told me that he hasn't stopped thinking about me since. He wants to take me out. I gave him my Instagram and he told me that he'd message me when he got home.

Should I just go on a date with him and see how it goes? He seems more mature and relaxed these days, I'm getting older now and can't afford to be too picky in the dating market. However I just don't know if I can overlook his sexuality. 😔

No, I absolutely wouldn't. I have yet to meet a genuinely bisexual man. The ones I have met have all come out as gay at some point.

Everyone is allowed their own opinions. How they express and justify them also matters though.

calm down love

It’s worrying because I hate that my child will have to deal with bigots throughout their life too.

You are allowed your opinion; I am allowed to call it out if it is homophobic or bigoted. That’s how things work pet.

I’m not being patronising, maybe a little condescending…

Nobody should have to justify anything to strangers on the Internet. It's okay to answer the question honestly as a no without having to give reasons to avoid being accused of being homophobic

Nope thats not the reason at all

And nobody is forcing them to justify them. As my mum used to say, if you can’t say anything nice….

Sexual preferences cannot - ever - be policed.

So the posters screaming “homophobia” and “biphobia” can do so ‘till the cows come home, but they won’t change the views of the vast majority of heterosexual women r.e. bisexual men.

There was a Sex in the City episode based around this question, the general consensus was that most bisexual men are actually gay.

I wouldn’t.

So you only want people to respond to OP if they want to say something that is palatable to you and yours opinion, otherwise that's just not very nice?

It's not a personal attack on a bisexuality person for others to prefer not to date or sleep with them.

People could say, ‘no, I don’t envision choosing to date someone who is bisexual’
without the ‘Yuk’, ‘Eww’, ‘Ick’, ‘Gross’, ‘willies up
bums’ comments.

I would find it attractive.
He sounds like a very good option.
Good luck!

What? They aren't saying homophobia/biphobia because of people's preferences... they're saying homophobia/biphobia in response to people saying "yuck".

Is this by any chance a 25-year-old piece of media?

Do you make the same assumption about bisexual women, out of curiosity?

No, there have been posters responding with words to the effect of “I would date a bisexual man, yes, because I’m not homophobic” which is ludicrous. Does my preference not to date a post-op F2M transsexual make me transphobic then?

Women (and men) can have whatever sexual preferences they want. They can’t be policed (nor controlled, but that’s a separate point).

Have you read some of the comments here?

But fine, people are allowed to say what they want. In the end it only reveals themselves for who they really are.

It’s absolutely fine to say that you won’t date a bi man, as long as you own that you’re biphobic. Because if you meet them and you’re enchanted and you fancy them and you get on great and they’re kind and funny and you have great sex and they make you laugh and they’re good looking and hot and fun and it’s all brilliant.. and then you find out they fancy men and that makes you go off them, you’re biphobic.

edited for a typo

I would. However, I'm not the one thinking of dating him.

Your boundaries are yours and you have the right to them for any reason, including reasons that others may consider irrational or unfair. The Equality Act's prohibition of sexual orientation discrimination doesn't apply to people's private lives.

What is the reason, then?

No I wouldn't.

Nothing to do with thinking they'll cheat...in fact I'd rather date an unfaithful straight man than a faithful bisexual man.

I would but I'm bi and have no ick around gay sex and no fear of the cheating stereotypes.

Ignoring the bi issue, it sounds like it would be worth going on a date. But only you can decide if being bi is a deal breaker for you.

Ffs 🙄

Yup, me too.

As a straight woman, I would rather date a straight guy who has a history of cheating than a non-straight guy who doesn’t have a history of cheating.