Would you date a bisexual man?

[Chunkychips1234]

I'm looking for a bit of advice on whether I should pursue a relationship with a man I used to work with.

He was crazy about me (I don't know why) when we used to work together years ago. He was in his 20s, a bit wild but he was a laugh. I liked him as a person and he was so sweet to me but the fact that he's bisexual put me off him. It was just too weird for me to deal with. I left that workplace coming up for 5 years ago and haven't seen him since.

I've recently bumped into him in the park and he's lost weight, looking healthier and gotten a new job. He was very happy to see me and being very nice. He told me that he hasn't stopped thinking about me since. He wants to take me out. I gave him my Instagram and he told me that he'd message me when he got home.

Should I just go on a date with him and see how it goes? He seems more mature and relaxed these days, I'm getting older now and can't afford to be too picky in the dating market. However I just don't know if I can overlook his sexuality. 😔

Yes I would and I have.
Although my only concern would be that most gay and bisexual men I know (I live in a city with a big gay scene so I know a lot of gay people) are very promiscuous (much more than gay women) and even when in relationships many of them are more ‘open’. I’d want to know his thoughts on monogamy if it got serious.
Interested in why so many posters would be a hard no?

Of course. And I have.

Once you're exclusive it doesn't matter who else he could be attracted to, he's with you.

No, I wouldn't, but just because it's not my preference doesn't mean you shouldn't do it.

No, it’s not because I wouldn’t trust him or anything I’d just find it really off putting and rightly or wrongly I’d keep picturing things I shouldn’t in my head.

I have no issues with it, my late OH was bi and it was never an issue at any point in our 15 years together.

I am attracted to him and if he was straight I would go for it. He doesn't act 'fruity' or 'zesty' as the youngsters call it.

The time that I knew him he was only dating women. I just can't get over the fact that he still has feelings for me, I feel guilty that I turned him down in the past but he never stopped flirting with me and trying it on even when he had a girlfriend. 😬

Nope

No

I think it's tricky to say what you'd do unless you've been in the situation of being attracted to someone who is bisexual. If I liked him enough I'd probably give it a shot, what have you got to lose?

Another workmate that knew him in the past said that he was promiscuous back then. I don't know if he has changed now, he said that he hasn't had a girlfriend in a long time.

But from reading that he doesn't sound like a good man anyway, if he was trying it on with you when he had a girlfriend. So it would be a no.

You mean camp. 😄 'Fruity' is a term from the American Deep South, as far as I'm aware, and 'zesty' probably is too.

but he never stopped flirting with me and trying it on even when he had a girlfriend

Christ. Give you head a wobble.

Bisexuality aside, don't even think of dating a man who treats the woman in his life this way. And don't listen to any talk of 'I didn't really like her'. Even if that were true, women deserve respect, and his behaviour wasn't that.

The trying it on with you even when he had a girlfriend is the bigger problem, plus he seems very pushy.

i honestly don’t think I would care about him being bi, but the other things (obsessing, hitting on you even when he’s in a relationship) are major red flags. Plus, fundamentally, if you even have to think then you do have an issue with him being bi (it’s why you turned him down before) and you shouldn’t force yourself to date someone in the hope you can get past something like that just because he’s good looking.

This is a personal matter that only you can decide.
If someone gives you the ick for any reason best not to date them.

No

I don't think it should matter but for me it's a no. But if you're not bothered go for it. Maybe go for one date and see how you get on. Sounds like you have the ick though.

No.

Nope - I don’t care who they’re attracted to per se, I care who they’ve had sex with.

Well… I was promiscuous once and now I’m a mum of two and I’ve been with my partner for 12 years (and I’ve never cheated on anyone).

it’s worth examining whether your concerns are born out of assumptions (stereotypes, dare I say) or information.

Equally…you can discount any prospective date for any reason so if you’re not up for it, that’s fine too.

Yes, have done and married to one. Unlike the Mumsnet prevailing view, bisexual people are not overcome with the need to fuck the opposite sex while in mixed-sex relationships.

No, but I can’t rationalise or justify why.

No way.

Absolutely not, no.

I’m a heterosexual woman and only attracted to heterosexual men.

No

He just really seems to like me. I'm scared of ending up alone 😔 The only men that seem to hit on me at work have partners and are looking to cheat.

I don't know why but I seem to attract attached men. I don't know if I'm giving out signals or what but I don't act particularly sexual. 🤷🏻‍♀️