Would you date a bisexual man?

[Chunkychips1234]

I'm looking for a bit of advice on whether I should pursue a relationship with a man I used to work with.

He was crazy about me (I don't know why) when we used to work together years ago. He was in his 20s, a bit wild but he was a laugh. I liked him as a person and he was so sweet to me but the fact that he's bisexual put me off him. It was just too weird for me to deal with. I left that workplace coming up for 5 years ago and haven't seen him since.

I've recently bumped into him in the park and he's lost weight, looking healthier and gotten a new job. He was very happy to see me and being very nice. He told me that he hasn't stopped thinking about me since. He wants to take me out. I gave him my Instagram and he told me that he'd message me when he got home.

Should I just go on a date with him and see how it goes? He seems more mature and relaxed these days, I'm getting older now and can't afford to be too picky in the dating market. However I just don't know if I can overlook his sexuality. 😔

Someone's capacity for fidelity and commitment has nothing to do with their sexual orientation. Plenty of straight men cheat and plenty of bi people are faithful.

What you and Cat have said is fine.

What's not fine is the "he'll cheat" (straight men cheat all the time) "eww bum sex" (soap exists, many straight couples do anal, and many gay or bi guys don't) "it's emasculating" (so gay men are feminine? Nah) and other nonsense people are coming out with.

Women have the right to complete sovereignty over their sex lives. They don't need to explain their "no", nor should they, as I explained in an earlier post. What women don't have is the right to defame an entire class of people for their sovereign consensual sexual decisions.

Homophobic and no longer even backed by population statistics, thanks to the increase of anal sex in the straight population and the use of PEP and PrEP in traditionally at-risk cohorts.

It was absurd that a straight guy could have anal sex bareback with a woman he's just met and that not bar either of them from giving blood the following day.

If there's one myth that really does piss me off, it's the "they'll always want what you can't give them" argument that sooner or later we'll not be able to help ourselves but cheat with someone who is the opposite sex from our partner.

First, that assumes that bisexual people are slaves to our urges. It infantilises us as being devoid of self-control.

Second, it ignores the reality that shittons of married men are creeping off to mistresses and prostituted women to get things that they would never ask the mother of their children for, such as domination and other "kinky" stuff. Straight and gay people can and do cheat.

Third, it assumes that a bisexual person's sexuality is based on a craving for or interest in both sexed body types. It ignores the possibility that we might be indifferent as to the sex of our partner, are dating them for their character, and use sex for bonding and showing love rather than relieving a craving for a particular shape of body.

Well said. I’m bi myself and I couldn’t agree more.

I have never cheated in my life.

But thank you for proving my point about bisexual people being defamed for just existing.

Me neither, and I've known I was attracted to men and women since I was about 13, which makes 30+ years of not cheating on anyone!

Surely the comment you quoted was sarcasm?! Surely!!

I think posters need to remember that men and women are not the same.

A bi man is not the same as a bi woman and they don't tend to behave the same.
I observed this over years of working in the gay village, knowing both bi men and bi women.

I think posters need to remember that all people are different.

FFS. Through the looking glass territory now.