50th birthday left me feeling sad

[cornflowerblue32]

So I just had my 50th. We were coming back off holiday so I knew it would be the usual get up, packed, drive home, get unpacked scenario. When we got home DH and DC gave me some presents - am I being spoilt to say I was a bit underwhelmed (DH gave me a desk fan, he'd bought our DD the same one for her birthday a week earlier, a book that I think he may have got from our local phone box library, a cushion with a puffin on and a puffin badge - I like puffins!)

It wasn't the presents though that upset me - it was the fact that 10 minutes later they all drifted off to go on various screens and I spent the rest of the day getting through 3 loads of washing, sorting out unpacking, cooking a meal and cleaning up afterwards. I felt like they gave me 10 minutes of their time to give me presents and 10 minutes to eat a meal. Even my dad couldn't be bothered to visit, he only lives a few miles away, but was going out to play bowls!

I went to bed at 9 and cried before going to sleep, DH stayed downstairs watching TV.

Is anyone else's family like this? Am I just being a spoilt brat to expect a bit more on my 50th? I know some people have it much worse and it's not the worst problem in the world. I keep mulling it over in my head, which is why it's 4:30 in the morning and I'm asking you good people what you think?

That’s absolutely shit. You absolutely should not have been doing the donkey work on your 50th as the bare minimum and your “dh” should have instructed the kids to help him do the washing/unpacking/tidying etc. It was your bloody birthday for gods sake. And the presents were a shit show. I think you should sit them all down and tell them they have made you sad on your birthday and that you feel undervalued. They should know how you feel. And like others have said, do something just for you and tell them all why.
just to add, my dh makes a huge fuss of me on my birthday as I do him. It’s what our children witness and I hope they go on to do the same for their partners when they get older. Birthdays should make you feel special and cherished. Happy birthday anyway x

Tomorrow morning say, not just to yourself, "This is my 50th year and I'm going to enjoy it".

TELL them next weekend is your "Official" Birthday. AND: You are expecting a cake and a really fancy meal out at a restaurant you want to eat at. Plus presents etc. In other words yesterday didn't happen. (Yesterday was not acceptable in any way at all.)

Starting tomorrow you are not doing any housework, meals, washing, for anyone else at all this week. You are the Queen of this home and need to be treated as such.

did you tell them you wanted to do something, I think they’d bought the presents in advance, it was return day from holiday so everyone tired from travel and prob not aware you wanted a games night or something.

just plan something for another time. Say you want to do something ie dinner or whatever.

OP is Entitled to have a really special time, not just something. Everything is the order of the day for 50 when she has done so much for everyone else.

That's really bad OP. I don't expect much for my birthdays but for a big one they should have made a bit of an effort.

For Mother’s Day my dd didn’t even bother asking what her dad had got. Was a box of very cheap chocolate that is not a box I like. I had a big chat with dd and said i wasn’t happy. She’s old enough now to offer contributions about what I’d like. For my birthday she asked for some money and got me lots of lovely little things that I like! So chatting does work. For the same birthday I got lots of lovely things from dh but he ignored me for the whole afternoon and went to sleep! So there we are.

Why are you with him?

That’s outrageous. Do the same on their special days. Sod all and house hold chores. See how they like it.

@RominaDinahis money.

Couldn't you get a settlement? It's got to be better than living like this, surely?

@RominaDinai am planning on it.