Going to repeat he’s not further on than you.
You made an agreement and he turned up
three hours early… again.
At the sports day he got upset because you weren’t standing with him.
Potty-gate.
To be fully moved on and evolved he would do 50:50 properly. He would have kept the kids on Friday so you could have a sleep. He would equally responsible for them in every way.
He would be fostering the best relationship with you as possible.
You are still going through every emotion and that’s healthy because you come out of the other side of it able to reflect, learn and move on.
He won’t miss family holidays in that he probably didn’t think too much of them anyway - it was just another event you organised.
I know this would not happen right now but I can guarantee if he heard you were having an early breakfast date one Friday he’d flip his lid. Because all of this has been on his terms, in his mind.
OP you were already miles ahead of him when he left in terms of being a grown up, a mum, a spouse and a deeply loving, caring person.
A grown men who sits and ponders his tattoo and works out ways of not being around his own children? Has as much strength as that wardrobe. Yes, that wardrobe….