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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

There We Are Then - part 3

257 replies

mummy917 · 02/08/2026 19:20

And another 🤣

OP posts:
Lizchapman · 02/08/2026 19:21

mummy917 · 02/08/2026 19:20

And another 🤣

Thank you 😊

REP22 · 02/08/2026 19:43

Thank you @mummy917. I remain in awe of your courage, strength and dignity. x

letshavetea · 02/08/2026 19:44

@mummy917 thank you

Woodfiresareamazing2 · 02/08/2026 19:48

We're here for as long as you need us, @mummy917 , to advise and support 😊

But never forget that you are the one doing the hard work, showing up for your children, putting them first every single time.

💪💐💪

PrizedPickledPopcorn · 02/08/2026 19:53

Here for the various shenanigans!

PetulaGordeno · 02/08/2026 19:53

Going to repeat he’s not further on than you.
You made an agreement and he turned up
three hours early… again.
At the sports day he got upset because you weren’t standing with him.
Potty-gate.
To be fully moved on and evolved he would do 50:50 properly. He would have kept the kids on Friday so you could have a sleep. He would equally responsible for them in every way.
He would be fostering the best relationship with you as possible.
You are still going through every emotion and that’s healthy because you come out of the other side of it able to reflect, learn and move on.
He won’t miss family holidays in that he probably didn’t think too much of them anyway - it was just another event you organised.
I know this would not happen right now but I can guarantee if he heard you were having an early breakfast date one Friday he’d flip his lid. Because all of this has been on his terms, in his mind.
OP you were already miles ahead of him when he left in terms of being a grown up, a mum, a spouse and a deeply loving, caring person.
A grown men who sits and ponders his tattoo and works out ways of not being around his own children? Has as much strength as that wardrobe. Yes, that wardrobe….

IJustMight · 02/08/2026 19:56

Hope you have a fantastic holiday with your DCs @mummy917

Doggymummar · 02/08/2026 19:59

Have a great holiday

Victorius19 · 02/08/2026 20:07

Look at how far you've come since your first thread. You should be so proud of yourself.

Happyhettie · 02/08/2026 20:08

PetulaGordeno · 02/08/2026 19:53

Going to repeat he’s not further on than you.
You made an agreement and he turned up
three hours early… again.
At the sports day he got upset because you weren’t standing with him.
Potty-gate.
To be fully moved on and evolved he would do 50:50 properly. He would have kept the kids on Friday so you could have a sleep. He would equally responsible for them in every way.
He would be fostering the best relationship with you as possible.
You are still going through every emotion and that’s healthy because you come out of the other side of it able to reflect, learn and move on.
He won’t miss family holidays in that he probably didn’t think too much of them anyway - it was just another event you organised.
I know this would not happen right now but I can guarantee if he heard you were having an early breakfast date one Friday he’d flip his lid. Because all of this has been on his terms, in his mind.
OP you were already miles ahead of him when he left in terms of being a grown up, a mum, a spouse and a deeply loving, caring person.
A grown men who sits and ponders his tattoo and works out ways of not being around his own children? Has as much strength as that wardrobe. Yes, that wardrobe….

All of this!!!

He’s still a twerp and you are still awesome!

Have a very lovely holiday!

mummy917 · 02/08/2026 20:11

I just want to say again how very very grateful I am for all of you who are still helping me daily. I genuinely don’t think I’d be where I am now without the support I’ve had from these threads either 💛

I have just laughed out loud again at the reminder of that wardrobe 🤣 I suppose it had as much sturdiness as our marriage also seemed to have in his eyes too.

OP posts:
tinyspiny · 02/08/2026 20:12

Hope you and the children have a great holiday @mummy917

LadyMacbethssweetArabianhand · 02/08/2026 20:15

Enjoy your holiday

NewDogOwner · 02/08/2026 20:20

Can you link to the second thread? Please!

OP posts:
PinkEasterbunny · 02/08/2026 20:31

Just marking my place here!

ItsOkItsDarkChocolate · 02/08/2026 20:38

Victorius19 · 02/08/2026 20:07

Look at how far you've come since your first thread. You should be so proud of yourself.

This!!

💐

INeedAnotherName · 02/08/2026 20:39

Have a wonderful break, and stop thinking about him for just a few days. He's not worth it.

MyOtherProfile · 02/08/2026 20:41

I'm glad we can continue to support you on here. You're doing so well.

WearyAuldWumman · 02/08/2026 20:43

Thank you.

HumphreyCushionintheHouse · 02/08/2026 21:35

When you’re feeling heartbroken, beaten down and broken by this new normal, please know that there are an army of women out here supporting you and holding you up Women who have either survived this or supported someone IRL. We have your back

notapizzaeater · 02/08/2026 21:46

Just think of how a relaxed holiday you will have without him having tantrums if it’s not going his way !

AnnieKenney · 02/08/2026 22:12

I'm going to go out on a limb and guess I'm speaking for more than me when I say it is an honour to walk beside you as you heal and discover how much you kick arse. I have no idea how men managed to pull off labelling women as the weaker sex.

AcrossthePond55 · 02/08/2026 22:34

mummy917 · 02/08/2026 20:11

I just want to say again how very very grateful I am for all of you who are still helping me daily. I genuinely don’t think I’d be where I am now without the support I’ve had from these threads either 💛

I have just laughed out loud again at the reminder of that wardrobe 🤣 I suppose it had as much sturdiness as our marriage also seemed to have in his eyes too.

Could you ever have imagined that a nest of vipers could be so warm and comfy?

You're doing great! You've grown and spread your wings. Him? Not so great, eh? He's still a Twat and at heart, a coward.

Meteorite87 · 02/08/2026 22:41

Always happy to cheer you on @mummy917 🥰

Have a lovely holiday with JuniorBeaker x

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