There We Are Then - part 2

[mummy917]

Follow on from previous

I’ve already told him I’m happy to keep our daughter with me if she’s still not well in the morning. She’s been in bed for almost 2 hours now and fingers crossed no more sickness but the night is young still, bless her.

Yeah I feel for her too as this was probably the last thing she expected to be taking on. I did mention to him trying to source professional childcare one of the days so it’s not as taxing on his mum but he said she was happy to help and it’s now none of my business as to whether that’s true or not.

What would you do if you had to go to work?

Either use parental leave or ask my parents to help if it was last minute and a one off. If not, then I’d be looking at more permanent professional childcare.

Take that win op let’s hope he doesn’t come up with an excuse tomorrow morning.

Your MiL was a very young mum, wasn’t she?

Yeah she was 17 when she had my husband and turned 18 a few months after he was born.

We can only hope!

He’s 43, she’s 59 but she had him at 17? Have I misunderstood?

I don’t think the OP has ever said her STBXH is 43. I’m not quite sure the point of your questions, it sounds like you are trying to pick holes which aren’t there

That just comes down to exactly what months they were both born in

Close enough really. Depends what time of year people have their birthdays. You're trying to pick holes where none exist!

He’s 41, she had him at 17 and she only turned 59 last month.

No, I’m definitely not trying to pick holes. I’m an ardent supporter of OP who is trying to understand the mindset behind OP’s MiL being such a young mother and OP’s husband’s mid life crisis. You couldn’t be further from the truth.

My mistake. I beg your pardon @mummy917. x

When he turns 42 next year, she will then turn 60 a few months later.

Don’t worry about it 😊

So you would cover the childcare even if it wasn't your day?

Thank you. x

Yes, because I’m not just a parent on “my days” 🤣

I hope your daughter is better today and handover went smoothly ❤️

Girl twin had a temperature when she woke up but no more sickness and my other daughter has been sick this morning. I said I would keep both girls however he refused and said his mum would be fine looking after them. I tried to put my foot down and said they should stay with me but he was starting to become confrontational and I didn’t want to cause a scene in front of the kids and upset them. I’ve told him his mum needs to ring me at any point if she is struggling and I will come and get them.

This is really really hard and I would hate to be in your shoes but you do have to let go when it's his time and trust his parenting/grandma's grandparenting.
Hopefully sick days will be few and far between.

Gently you have to let him parent, you can’t dictate to him on his time, just as he can’t on yours. It feels like you are trying to manage him now. It’s very very hard but it’s best for the children they feel looked after in both homes.

I just feel so guilty that they’ve gone to their grandma’s when they’re poorly and I’m not at work so could've easily looked after them. I’m supposed to be meeting up with my friend this morning but feel like cancelling as the guilt of me having a relaxing coffee while they’re poorly is eating away at me. I know I need to let my ex navigate these situations too but again, it’s hard because I’ve always been there when they’ve been unwell.

Yeah I can see how it comes across, although that’s not how I’m thinking. I just feel bad that they won’t understand why I’m not there to look after them, as their grandma hasn’t been the one to do it when they’re poorly.