The Dating Thread 61 - High Summer High Jinks 🍾🥂

[Nosdacariad]

The Rules:
-The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating
-Develop a thick skin
-Do not invest emotionally too soon
-It’s all BS until it actually happens
-Trust your gut instinct
-People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault
-Know your worth
-If it's not fun, stop
-Loo update is mandatory
-No dating the thread
-Treat others as you'd like to be treated
-Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with
-The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future
If you're wondering if you're being too picky/should give another chance after the second chance/should try harder - the answer is invariably NO! You're not and you shouldn't. If this, now, is as good as it's going to get, the A game, then do you want what comes next?!
-OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item*

Hi all! Thanks for the new thread! Xxx

I am typing this while in an Uber on the way to my date with Am Dram.... Wish me luck! I doubt much will come of it, but am hoping he will be at least interesting to chat to. And it was an excuse to get dressed up, which I always enjjoy.

Thanks for the new thread - love the title lol - hopefully I can get high on love - if not then on festivals and beer next weekend anyhow haha.

Thanks @Nosdacariad !

Ooh - best of luck - have a good time anyhow 🍀

I got dropped off at the wrong pub. White Horse, rather than the White Swan.

He could have been nicer about it though, to be fair. It's an easy mistake.

Still, may as well go now that I am close.

Good luck 🍀🍀🍀

I hope that is "couldn't have been nicer"😁

I was wondering that!

Thanks for the thread, Nosdacariad. Still following along.

just keep reminding yourself it's a numbers game.

Yes it is. I have no problem getting a couple of dates per weekend due to age, looks, location and so on. I scare men though as I tend to out-brain most of them.

Marcus the Lawyer is in older man territory and is 42, a corporate partner at some firm in the City, something with a lot of syllables. Might be able to see him next weekend if my cousins are not needing me.

From his profile I note the sharp grey suit in the photos (good sign), looks like he actually knows how to hold a wine glass, and his bio is basically work hard, play hard, looking for someone who can keep up. Perhaps that is usually a massive red flag for "I want a trophy wife," but I'm interpreting it as "he has money and knows what he wants." Interests include fine dining, art, and travel. Vague perhaps but I can do that if we can add in a hot afternoon in the archives.

I swiped and he matched instantly, which is flattering but also makes me think he swipes on anything under 30. Messages are a bit enigmatic and come in bunches then a long pause. If he's a corporate lawyer, he probably works more than is sensible, so maybe he's just billable-hour deep in a contract somewhere. Or maybe he's playing the "hard to get" game. Or has acolytes. Can’t say I really care, but after OlderMan not being there, I’m up for getting some sort of dalliance in the experience column.

Good luck!!

So I was in the supermarket doing my Sunday shop.

When a better-looking version of Bad Bunny rocked up in the vegetable aisle, then migrated over to sourdough. He clearly knew what he was doing. He was even wearing a matching summer ensemble.

Did I hover around him in the supermarket, hoping to catch his eye? Of course. Did I do anything about it? You can guess!

Mr AmDram could've been nicer? Hope the date went well after what sounds like a rocky start?!

Remind me Bad Bunny? I get lost in these threads lol. And did you do anything about it...?

Thanks for the new thread @Nosdacariad

I may not always comment but I'm still following along on everyone's dating experiences and picking up on all advice shared. I struggle to keep up & forget who's doing what (or who lol) by the time I've caught up lol

I did a bit of swiping after Mr Disney cancelled on me (not heard from him since!) and ended up with several matches. I don't know if it's because the football for England has ended but I seem to have had more likes & matches in the last 3 days than I ever have?!

Anyway, my favourite match at the moment is Mr Sport. No date in the diary yet but has been discussed, just not found a mutual time. Really hope it does happen though, I like this one so far...

Hello everyone and thanks for the new thread @Nosdacariad Hope all the dates / matches go well. I really hope that Bad Bunny is a pop star, @Mildred007! I think meeting people in the wild like this is so hard, @ElleintheWoods so don't blame yourself for not approaching him.

@LenaFromTheNineties - I am extremely familiar with corporate lawyers. Definitely one for the experience column, but otherwise I would be very wary of getting feelings.

Mr Physics continues to be lovely. I feel like I can be completely honest with him about anything, and he won't judge me. I fear I am going to fall very hard for this man and get hurt.

Thanks for the new thread x

Hope you have a good time x

Thanks for the good luck wishes, all! And my earlier message wasn't a typo - Am Dram was genuinely a little bit waspish about my mistake over the venue. Coupd have been nerves I suppose.

However, he was pleasant enough on the date itself. Quite interesting to chat to. Didn't ask loads of questions if I am honest, but did listen attentively enough when I said stuff about myself.

However, a couple of things have given me pause for thought:

A) he admitted that when he broke up with his wife (with whom he has three teenage kids - this was a couple of years ago, oldest was 14, so a lengthy enough marriage) he tried to get together with his female best friend who he has known since he was 13. Nothing doing - she wasn't interested - but they remain best friends - he said his wife could never stand her, and I thought no, I bet she can't.....

B( insisted on taking photos of me and him together. I went along with it as couldn't think of a reason not to, but seemed a little odd. This is not the second time this has happened to me on a first date.....

He is super keen to see me again, but I am not sure to be honest. Part of me thinks I am not giving guts enough chances & another part thinks that my instincts are finally good, and I need to trust them a bit more.

Interested to see what you guys think from what I have told you. Do the things I mentioned seem like big fluttery swathes of maroon bunting? 🤣

Sorry, that should read that this IS the second time the photos thing has happened on a first date..... Found it weird then too, but more explicable as we were both a bit pissed - this time we weren't. Unless he had been drinking before the date I suppose, which is possible.

@Ilovelurchers absolute no from me after being royally burned by the female ‘best friend’ situation in my last relationship.

Actually just to add to this , as if he told you this on a first date! I mean what the fuck

Absolute no from me after also being royally burned by the female best friend thing in my last relationship.

DO NOT let him talk you round from your decision like I let planes talk me round x

And the wife could never stand her - what you thought was your instincts talking and they're good 💙

The massive red flag is getting pissy when you went to the wrong pub though.

This would be a no from me - (a) being waspish about an honest mistake, (b) why on earth is he even mentioning the best mate on a first date? I am definitely up for a chat that goes deeper than the weather, but still, and (c) the photos thing is weird and smacks of "I want to show my mates this".

The fact is, you know if its worth taking to date 2.

Ilovelurchers Agree with the other comments. He was possibly thinking that you weren't going to turn up/were messing him about, but if it wasn't followed by huge apologies when you did turn up, then no.

And why even mention about the friend? Seems to me like he's testing you?
To see if you'd be alright with him still being friends with the woman who he obviously fancies (If things worked out between you)