Found condoms...I have had Mirena for 11 + years

[noideaoffuturenow]

So...I've had a Mirena in situ for 11+ years. Cleaning today-opened a random, unused cupboard (up v high & hard to reach) in the laundry room. Found a box..in it were a few of DH unworn Christmas jumpers, a tin of receipts and random objects inc a paper bag of 8 Skyn black packet condoms. UB 10/2026. Never ever known DH to use these even when we did use condoms. Many years ago....
Feel sick to my stomach.
What would you think?

I’d think he was having an affair

When did you last use condoms? They have a really long bb date so these would have been bought years ago.

When you were using condoms where were they kept? If it is not in this cupboard then I would be asking him about it because it suggests that they are not for use with you.

did you look at the receipts?

I would think he had been cheating on me. Sorry.

Yes, I'm afraid it very much looks as though he has been cheating.

You need to ask him about these.
I’ve not seen condoms that are sold in packets of 8….. 6, 10,12’s and more are all common. So he’s likely used some. It’s technically possible it could have been for a posh wank but also possible he’s cheated.
If they’re still in date he’s bought them whilst you’ve had your coil in. They don’t last 12 years.
He’s obviously hidden them somewhere you won’t look for a reason.

Has there been anything else to suggest he might be having an affair? Are any of the receipts for meals out that you didn't go on or anything like that?

If they’re in a paper bag, I’d suggest they’ve come from a sexual health clinic. I’m sorry, it’s very suspicious especially as he’s hidden them.

I found condoms when I was on the pill. There was a slight element of doubt as if I was unwell we did use condoms but there were more than I expected & other things that didn’t stack up.
In my case, my exH was having a sexual affair.
I hope for your sake there is an innocent explanation but it doesn’t seem that likely I’m afraid.

No teenage kids in the house who they might belong to?

They actually only have a few ears shelf life, certainly not 10/11 years. Unless you had teenage kids then definitely up to something.
There is no such thing as a posh wank, just some myth some guy perpetuated to get out of cheating. The rise in STD's should tell you everything you need to know about guys aversion to wearing condoms, the thought that they actually would wear one when they don't need to is absolutely bonkers

I’m so sorry OP. The fact they were in a paper bag means one of two things;

1. They are from a sexual health clinic,

1. To better hide them than leaving them in their branded box.

Given the use by date means they post date your coil, neither is good.

Agree unfortunately I've only ever seen them in a paper bag from a sexual health clinic..

Sorry, but this is exactly how my friend found out her husband had another woman

Look at the LOT number on the box - the first two numbers are the year of manufacture eg 22 is 2022, the second two numbers are the month of manufacture.

But if they expire in 2026 and you’ve been together for 11+ years whilst on the coil that doesn’t look great … sorry OP

Since they were with a Christmas jumper I’m wondering if he was given them from a secret santa. He’s came home and chucked them all in the laundry and forgot.

It was very common to do those type of gifts at one workplace.

They've been obtained recently, normally about 3 years shelf life. Some up to 5 years.

Have any of his habits changed in the last couple of years to facilitate his having an affair? Or possibility of using sex workers.

Oh sorry, just re-read you found them in a paper bag so I’m guessing they were loose rather than in original box. Would they still have the LOT number on the individual packets though? I’m sure you’ve googled this but the Skyn spermidical condoms expire after 3 years and the non spermidical condoms expire after 5 years

Why wouldn’t he just chuck them in a bin somewhere instead of making the monumental mistake of bringing them home?

This suggests they were purchased/given within the last five years at the very least.

If it were me, I’d be happy to ask my DH without doing further investigation but I know not everyone will share my view, and others will want to see if they can find further evidence of deception.

Only you can know what you want to do.

A paper bag means nothing. Many small independent shops use them.

I doubt they’d be flung up in an unused cup if he was actively using them.

I think your only option is to just ask him. If he were cheating, he would probably get a bit flustered and scrabble to think of an excuse. If he hasn't been cheating and there is some kind of innocent explanation then it should just roll off his tongue naturally and put you at ease. Only one way to find out.

I might be massively out of touch here as I'm old but aren't the black condoms meant for gay men? A friend explained to me years decades ago that the black ones were stronger and intended for anal.

I've just googled the brand and they are all black. Ignore me!