Found condoms...I have had Mirena for 11 + years

[noideaoffuturenow]

So...I've had a Mirena in situ for 11+ years. Cleaning today-opened a random, unused cupboard (up v high & hard to reach) in the laundry room. Found a box..in it were a few of DH unworn Christmas jumpers, a tin of receipts and random objects inc a paper bag of 8 Skyn black packet condoms. UB 10/2026. Never ever known DH to use these even when we did use condoms. Many years ago....
Feel sick to my stomach.
What would you think?

Surely if you vaguely remember that your coil might have run out during COVID you would remember if you had sex with condoms at that time which would explain why they are in the cupboard.
As your relationship isn't in a particularly good place, are you secretly hoping he is having an affair so you can blame him for ending it.

I used to get my contraception (the pill) from a sexual health clinic when I was in college
many years ago, and they always gave me a pack of around 8 condoms in a paper bag …

Condoms usually have a 5 year expiry date from the date of manufacture. It might take 6-12 months from manufacture to being sold, so I'm the worst case probably bought in 2022.

He may have had an "indiscretion" then, hidden them and forgotten they were there. Not great, but doesn't necessarily indicate something going on now, especially if there's still some in the box.

Could he be an occasional user of escorts?

I just can’t see that he’d hide condoms from an STI clinic (that he’s obviously not using) in the house. He’d just bin them surely?!

i wonder if they were part of a Christmas party game with work or (immature) friends. He had nothing to hide so just dumped them up there with his Xmas jumper? Maybe?!

I work In one, we have branded Skyns. Give them out in a paper bag with the expiry date written on the front

Is the packet full or is it opened and condoms missing from it?
I think there's a big difference between BUYING or getting condoms and using them.

Does he have a latex allergy ?

Does he work in any field involving the use of microphones?

I'm so sorry but I think you need to get digging. Take the opportunity to check out anything you can while he's away.

He has both the motive and the opportunity unfortunately. It's very, very suspicious.

The Christmas thing is a red herring - unworn jumpers have nothing to do with a Christmas party. It’s a box of his belongings with some GUM clinic wrapped condoms so absent a teenager in the house, he’s been to a clinic.

Wendy how many are usually given out? Not even sure if this is relevant.

Mainecoon-check out what? He does not share his location/passwords. He has always refused to share his phone & everything inc Netflix is PW protected. He does have an office which I have a key to, but its' chaos.

Clinell, how do I know if they're spermicidal ones? The EXP date & SN were handwritten in biro on the outside of the bag. I think there were 12 in the bag.

YourAzure-why??

They actually are. I checked on a forum with a lot of men, and the majority said they are a thing.

If you have been on the coil for 11 years and have four children, it’s fair to assume you have teenagers. Could they be theirs?

My 15 year old son got given condoms in a paper bag (and a sperm key ring 🙄) when the sexual health team came into school.

Sound engineers use condoms over the top of microphones to protect them from the rain and over radio mic packs to protect them from wet too.

Film industry use them similarly, and photographers I've heard too, I work in the electrical trade and carry a tube of durex lube in my toolbox as it makes fitting rubber sheaths on armoured cable glands really easy and won't degrade the rubber like oils.

I am going to save you some time.

I have been on this earth for almost 52 years and been on MN for over 20 of those.

It will be what you think it is. It wont be any of the excuses some will come up with to try and excuse it, it wont be a posh wank or left as a joke from a stag weekend. It means what it is, he is having or has had sex and using/used them.

Personally I would leave them where they are. Check them weekly and keep an eye on his behaviour. Have a think about past behaviour. And decide whether you would prefer to turn a blind eye, and if not, make your plans.

Skyn says their condoms have a shelf life of 2-4 years.

Receipts suspicious?

This is great advice.

Why would he go to a clinic to get condoms just for a posh wank or to cover a bloody microphone, Jesus.
sorry op, but it doesn’t look good.

He's very likely been to a clinic for an STI check, at some point. Sorry OP.

So sorry OP - regardless of the outcome this will be a stressful time. Personally I would do some digging before mentioning it to stop him covering his tracks, but you will know what works best for you and the dynamic of you relationship. Keep us posted and good luck x

Condoms only last a few years, there’s no way he bought those condoms 11 years ago.