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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Advice please...found corner of condom packet in my bedroom

235 replies

GetridofStuff · 02/02/2025 19:53

Hi I haven't posted here before, please be kind! I just don't have anyone to talk to about this. I found the corner of a condom packet on the windowsill of my bedroom this afternoon. It is the same colour as the ones we keep in a bedside drawer. Photos attached. I just don't know where it could have come from. DH and I haven't had sex for over 2 years and the last couple of times we tried he had ED. I said he could get help from GP but in all that time he never did anything about it. We haven't talked about it and I just assumed he wasn't bothered or attracted to me anymore. Just been bumbling along with life, we get on most of the time. Been married 30 years, 3 kids who have lots of issues so it's often stressful. In our mid 50s, I am of course perimenopausal so haven't felt like sex for a long time. Although I do think about it, just not about having it with him!
Anyway been trying to think how this thing got there, the window was open earlier, could it have blown in but it just seems too much of a coincidence that it is exactly the colour of the condoms we used to use! Please tell me honestly what you think. Honestly can't believe am asking strangers on the internet but don't want to ask him about it yet.

Advice please...found corner of condom packet in my bedroom
Advice please...found corner of condom packet in my bedroom
Advice please...found corner of condom packet in my bedroom
OP posts:
HPandthelastwish · 02/02/2025 19:56

Well there's two possibilities

  • he's using them on himself
  • he's using them with someone else
twinklet4 · 02/02/2025 19:57

Would he have the opportunity to use them with anyone else op? Any other signs? If not I'd say him using them on himself is a possibility.

Whatabouthow · 02/02/2025 19:57

Could be having a posh wank? I wouldn't assume he's cheating just yet if I was you. But I would keep a look out for anything else suspicious.

Theoscargoesto · 02/02/2025 19:57

….or someone else is using them-resident children for example.

alwaysontheloo · 02/02/2025 19:58

Before anyone suggests a posh wank, it's not a thing so don't believe that if he says that.

Sodthesystem · 02/02/2025 19:59

Got teens that could be using them?

Curtainqueen · 02/02/2025 20:00

Posh wank?

Curtainqueen · 02/02/2025 20:01

alwaysontheloo · 02/02/2025 19:58

Before anyone suggests a posh wank, it's not a thing so don't believe that if he says that.

It is a thing actually.

Whatabouthow · 02/02/2025 20:01

alwaysontheloo · 02/02/2025 19:58

Before anyone suggests a posh wank, it's not a thing so don't believe that if he says that.

What are you talking about? Don't think you know the sexual habits of everyone.

Tryingtohelp12 · 02/02/2025 20:01

Teens?

they are out of date so whoever is using them should get some new ones

CFOfTheHighestOrder · 02/02/2025 20:01

Could he have been tidying/hoovering under the bed etc, picked it up and put it on the side as too big for the hoover and forgot to put into the bin?

AnotherDunromin · 02/02/2025 20:02

Sodthesystem · 02/02/2025 19:59

Got teens that could be using them?

What, in their parents' bedroom? I can't think of a bigger mood killer than my parents' marital bed!

Sodthesystem · 02/02/2025 20:03

AnotherDunromin · 02/02/2025 20:02

What, in their parents' bedroom? I can't think of a bigger mood killer than my parents' marital bed!

Gone in there to get a condom, opened the packet, gone back to their room.

And teen boys are not fussy.

Eminybob · 02/02/2025 20:07

CFOfTheHighestOrder · 02/02/2025 20:01

Could he have been tidying/hoovering under the bed etc, picked it up and put it on the side as too big for the hoover and forgot to put into the bin?

This was my first thought.

DH and I haven't used a condom in a long time but it's not beyond the realms of possibility that's there is a wrapper lodged in some hard to clean corner of the room

twinklet4 · 02/02/2025 20:07

alwaysontheloo · 02/02/2025 19:58

Before anyone suggests a posh wank, it's not a thing so don't believe that if he says that.

It is a thing. I would say almost anything is a thing when it comes to individuals and their sexual behaviour. But a posh wank is actually a very common and well known thing.

creamsnugjumper · 02/02/2025 20:08

Hope it's not the kids they are out of date!

Can you ask him? Is there one missing or did you not know how many were there?

pizzaHeart · 02/02/2025 20:09

Eminybob · 02/02/2025 20:07

This was my first thought.

DH and I haven't used a condom in a long time but it's not beyond the realms of possibility that's there is a wrapper lodged in some hard to clean corner of the room

I agree with this ^
otherwise it’s quite a strange place to put the piece on.

BumpandBounce · 02/02/2025 20:11

Have you checked the bins for the rest of the wrapper or the condom itself? I’d be surprised if they weren’t somewhere in the house too…

maclen · 02/02/2025 20:13

Just ask him?

NoBiscuitsLeftInMyTin · 02/02/2025 20:14

alwaysontheloo · 02/02/2025 19:58

Before anyone suggests a posh wank, it's not a thing so don't believe that if he says that.

You are wrong….. m47 here

LameBorzoi · 02/02/2025 20:16

alwaysontheloo · 02/02/2025 19:58

Before anyone suggests a posh wank, it's not a thing so don't believe that if he says that.

Of course it's a thing.

DirectionToPerfection · 02/02/2025 20:17

There's a very good chance he was either using them on himself, or as a PP said was tidying up and then forgot about it.

Just ask him and see how he responds.

GetridofStuff · 02/02/2025 20:21

Thank you so much for taking time to reply. Yes I had noticed they had expired, says it all really.
So yes I guess opportunity is there. Has lots of hobbies, out of house alot.
Teens, well they are all ND, one has moved out, others never really leave their room. Have no-one over.
He hasn't hoovered in years.
And what the fuck is a posh wank?

OP posts:
MrsJHernandez · 02/02/2025 20:21

Curtainqueen · 02/02/2025 20:01

It is a thing actually.

It's definitely a thing!

MrsJHernandez · 02/02/2025 20:23

GetridofStuff · 02/02/2025 20:21

Thank you so much for taking time to reply. Yes I had noticed they had expired, says it all really.
So yes I guess opportunity is there. Has lots of hobbies, out of house alot.
Teens, well they are all ND, one has moved out, others never really leave their room. Have no-one over.
He hasn't hoovered in years.
And what the fuck is a posh wank?

Lol its when a man uses a condom for masturbating

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