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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Advice please...found corner of condom packet in my bedroom

235 replies

GetridofStuff · 02/02/2025 19:53

Hi I haven't posted here before, please be kind! I just don't have anyone to talk to about this. I found the corner of a condom packet on the windowsill of my bedroom this afternoon. It is the same colour as the ones we keep in a bedside drawer. Photos attached. I just don't know where it could have come from. DH and I haven't had sex for over 2 years and the last couple of times we tried he had ED. I said he could get help from GP but in all that time he never did anything about it. We haven't talked about it and I just assumed he wasn't bothered or attracted to me anymore. Just been bumbling along with life, we get on most of the time. Been married 30 years, 3 kids who have lots of issues so it's often stressful. In our mid 50s, I am of course perimenopausal so haven't felt like sex for a long time. Although I do think about it, just not about having it with him!
Anyway been trying to think how this thing got there, the window was open earlier, could it have blown in but it just seems too much of a coincidence that it is exactly the colour of the condoms we used to use! Please tell me honestly what you think. Honestly can't believe am asking strangers on the internet but don't want to ask him about it yet.

Advice please...found corner of condom packet in my bedroom
Advice please...found corner of condom packet in my bedroom
Advice please...found corner of condom packet in my bedroom
OP posts:
GetridofStuff · 03/02/2025 22:50

AliceThroughtheLookingGlasses · 03/02/2025 22:18

This makes me laugh.

Everyone here is a 'random on the internet' 😂

Except some posters think some of us are more random than others.

Hilarious.

And not everyone who posts saying they are a man, is actually a man.
Or a woman.

Or posting the truth.

This is not aimed at the poster who said the used condoms with toys, but a general point.

How sad that you and others got a laugh from this thread. Have no idea what possessed me last night to look for advice here. I have tried to defend myself against basic fucking trolls in the hope someone will recognise my sadness and desperation but these trolls continue to exploit my situation, dominate and derail

OP posts:
GetridofStuff · 03/02/2025 22:52

MrMagooandtheblueshoe · 03/02/2025 22:33

You could put it back on the windowsill, or even somewhere else in the bedroom where he'll see it and when /if he notices, observe what he does. That way you're not directly raising it with him but might get answers and / or his reaction might help you decide what you want to do (ie; find out more or not).

Thanks. You and a minority of others have been sensitive and tried to help, I see you all. But I had better leave. How do I get MN to delete the thread?

OP posts:
Nationsss · 03/02/2025 22:58

Never ask a question that you are not sure you want the answer to.

It sounds like you have a lot going on.
How would splitting up look?
Would it make your life harder?

If it would, slow down and take your time to really think about this.

Put it back on the window and see what happens is what I would do, but say nothing.

Sending you strength OP.

Lostworlds · 03/02/2025 23:04

If you’re not ready to talk to him about it then that’s okay. Take your time and bring it up when you’re ready.

I agree with other posters about placing it back on the windowsill in clear view and see what happens.

Agapornis · 03/02/2025 23:20

You need to report your first post, and explain why you'd like it deleted.

I hope you sort things out one way or another. But do come back for future support - it's not all bad here.

Secondstart1001 · 04/02/2025 09:17

GetridofStuff · 03/02/2025 22:06

Your post hits hard. Have been asking myself these questions all evening. I am frozen with indecision. That probably seems pathetic to most of you on this thread but there we are.

Not really… you are prob scared of finding out truth in case you are not ready to make big life changes. I get that you are not carefree, looking after adult dc is very challenging.

Secondstart1001 · 04/02/2025 09:18

I am really sorry for the awful posts on here directed at you. It’s disgusting. Message me if you need a listening ear and take care.

AliceThroughtheLookingGlasses · 04/02/2025 16:00

GetridofStuff · 03/02/2025 22:50

How sad that you and others got a laugh from this thread. Have no idea what possessed me last night to look for advice here. I have tried to defend myself against basic fucking trolls in the hope someone will recognise my sadness and desperation but these trolls continue to exploit my situation, dominate and derail

@GetridofStuff You misunderstood. I'm sorry if this distressed you. It wasn't about you.

I wasn't laughing at you or your dilemma. Absolutely not.

I was being sarcastic to a poster who said some posters here were men and therefore knew more about 'posh wanks'.
My reply was to them.

OldChairMan · 04/02/2025 17:18

It was on OP's thread, @AliceThroughtheLookingGlasses, so of course it impacts her. Making sarcastic snarks at other posters derails and is really insensitive to an OP who is clearly worried.

Kidznurse · 29/03/2025 21:36

if I’m not in the mood and DH is he often uses a condom to masterbate. No mess to clear up and I really don’t have an issue with this.

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