Advice please...found corner of condom packet in my bedroom

[GetridofStuff]

Hi I haven't posted here before, please be kind! I just don't have anyone to talk to about this. I found the corner of a condom packet on the windowsill of my bedroom this afternoon. It is the same colour as the ones we keep in a bedside drawer. Photos attached. I just don't know where it could have come from. DH and I haven't had sex for over 2 years and the last couple of times we tried he had ED. I said he could get help from GP but in all that time he never did anything about it. We haven't talked about it and I just assumed he wasn't bothered or attracted to me anymore. Just been bumbling along with life, we get on most of the time. Been married 30 years, 3 kids who have lots of issues so it's often stressful. In our mid 50s, I am of course perimenopausal so haven't felt like sex for a long time. Although I do think about it, just not about having it with him!
Anyway been trying to think how this thing got there, the window was open earlier, could it have blown in but it just seems too much of a coincidence that it is exactly the colour of the condoms we used to use! Please tell me honestly what you think. Honestly can't believe am asking strangers on the internet but don't want to ask him about it yet.

Calling it a posh wank when a man masturbates while wearing a condom is so stupid. Posh means nicer than normal so surely it's the opposite?

A posh wank is where you use a condom because the happy ending is far less messy.

It's just a slang term. Don't get too hung up on it.

Bloody hell, I'm not hung up on it at all. I think it is a stupid phrase. That's all.

So yes I guess opportunity is there. Has lots of hobbies, out of house alot.

He’d hardly open it at home if planning to use it elsewhere though…

I noticed that too - 6 years out of date?

If he has ED is he really likely to be managing to get it up with someone else? Is there free time where he could fit another woman in?

I'll be honest, when we got a new bed there was more used condom wrappers under the old one when we moved it than I'd care to admit 🤣 it's probably just one you've used previously.

We had a new ottoman bed a few years back, so nothing can get under there. Plus all has been thoroughly cleaned by myself many times since. It was sat on the bloody windowsill, how could a bit of a condom wrapper used years ago get there? Am I reduced to searching the bins? I feel a bit sick.

Especially in the 1990's when condoms and lube were given out freely to prevent HIV and other STI's - lube inside the condom, and away you go.

surely if you have ED, the last thing you need is less sensitivity from the condom. unless he is extremely large, and the condom is extremely small, and its being used as some kind of weird cock ring type thing to keep all the blood in place.....

That's seriously out of date- those could perish and disintegrate.

They're out of date so you need to have a family meeting to get to the bottom of this and warn whoever is using them

Jeezo, can't your husband or kids have a wank without all this drama. If you're not going to have sex with him, surely you can't start dictating how he sorts himself out.

What do you hope to find by going through the bins?

If he was cheating he'd have to be putting it on before he goes out to his hobbies. This is all too silly.

Oh gawd no!
Grim!

Am just waiting for him to take the dogs out, then I will look in bins.
Thanks for being there, I am stupidly upset about this.

Omg, men really, really do not choose to use a condom for a ‘posh wank’ when at home. They just don’t. Wise up.

If he's got ED, and therefore performance concerns, maybe he was trying to see if he could manage it himself with one on before trying to attempt with OP due to embarrassment?

If he has ED he may be just experimenting to see what might work and thought he would save himself the effort of clearing up.

OP it’s highly unlikely to be anything like cheating as who would bring a condom wrapper from out of date condoms back home and leave it in the window, after using the condom to cheat with? It would just be too random.
Much more likely to be either rubbish from under the bed or the much discussed “ posh wank”.

Not looking good op. Not much advice anyone on here can give you except investigate more (bins, phone etc) and ask him

Look am not a prude and have no problem with him masturbating at all. My mind is just running overtime that perhaps he used it when out seeing someone and somehow that piece was in his pocket, or on his clothes somehow. But I guess the posh wank thing might be a possibility.
I looked at his phone a few months ago, no idea why, found nothing but he works in tech industry whereas I am useless so he could hide stuff easily. He uses the browser Duck Duck Go for example, had to google what it was. It doesn't store browsing history.

I highly doubt many men would have a posh wank.

I don't think it blew in the open window OP...

Are there any other clues or suspicions that he slept with someone else?

Either way you have to talk about it. You can't go two years without sex and talk about it.

Your condoms are out of date so need to be binned.

Am scared to bring it up. Like I said he is very good with technology and I guess he would hide stuff if he thought I suspected anything.
I feel ridiculous.

We've had a man on this thread admit doing it. Perhaps tell him that men just don't do it because he seems to disagree.