Advice please...found corner of condom packet in my bedroom

[GetridofStuff]

Hi I haven't posted here before, please be kind! I just don't have anyone to talk to about this. I found the corner of a condom packet on the windowsill of my bedroom this afternoon. It is the same colour as the ones we keep in a bedside drawer. Photos attached. I just don't know where it could have come from. DH and I haven't had sex for over 2 years and the last couple of times we tried he had ED. I said he could get help from GP but in all that time he never did anything about it. We haven't talked about it and I just assumed he wasn't bothered or attracted to me anymore. Just been bumbling along with life, we get on most of the time. Been married 30 years, 3 kids who have lots of issues so it's often stressful. In our mid 50s, I am of course perimenopausal so haven't felt like sex for a long time. Although I do think about it, just not about having it with him!
Anyway been trying to think how this thing got there, the window was open earlier, could it have blown in but it just seems too much of a coincidence that it is exactly the colour of the condoms we used to use! Please tell me honestly what you think. Honestly can't believe am asking strangers on the internet but don't want to ask him about it yet.

I wouldn’t bring up the condom. I would start a conversation about the lack of intimacy. I think you both need to know where the other stands.

@Curtainqueen 🤣🤣🤣 oh dear.

OP I'd just ask my other half why it was there?

Well I think it is a fancy (and expensive) way for a man to have a wank. "Ooooh v posh", one might exclaim if your colleague at work said what he had been up to over the weekend.

Seriously. Woman who think they know what every man does or doesn't do.

Plenty of men do it, and admit to it here (as one point of reference. www.reddit.com/r/AskUK/comments/1c8vo99/men_how_often_do_you_have_a_posh_wank/

Cheers for that.

I would just ask him and watch for his reaction and explanation.

That is absolutely vile

Yes it is a thing

Thank you. I know I should. I just feel resentful he has done nothing about his ED in all that time.

Another person reiterating it's definitely a thing...

Yup

Thanks. I know this post might seem silly but I have very little support irl who I can talk to.x

Perhaps he has, and is experimenting.

Does he have opportunity to bring someone to the house OP?

Hard to take a view without knowing if it was in a place you’d have noticed it previously (or behind a curtain) or, if more hidden, when you last remember looking properly at, or cleaning, the windowsill. Then how often the house has been empty (or your DH or one of the kids has been there alone) since.

Most likely explanation is it’s from a packet that’s been opened in the bedroom. Could be one of your kids (if teenagers) messing about/experimenting or bringing someone back. Could be your DH.

Unlikely it’s blown through the window, though there were high winds recently in the storms, so not impossible, if it was more hidden.

Unlikely your DH opened its elsewhere and somehow brought it home. Does he ever empty his pockets and put things on the windowsill? For example, when he gets undressed or before he puts clothes in the laundry. Could it have been in a pocket with keys or coins, which he put on the windowsill, then picked them up and didn’t notice he’d left it there?

He surely wouldn’t have left it there on purpose, as some sort of passive aggressive way to worry you, given the lack of sex, though stranger things have happened.

Lighten up its humour. It’s not nearly as vile as some of the hateful bile I see on here every day aimed at men.

Do you know what the likely cause of his ED is? ie medication or circulation issues? And any new/different prescription meds?

Just wondering if he's noticed an improvement, perhaps due to a change in medication, and just wanted to testdrive his new found manhood in a condom before he approaches you. Just to make sure it still works with a jacket on.

You do have to ask though.

Is it the sort of size and shape that could get stuck down the side of the carpet and missed when hoovering then for some reason reappeared?

Nothing funny about abusing an animal

If you have teen boys in the house my strong bet is on them being curious, experimenting and trying one out. They are careless about hiding any evidence.

I would say to your DH that you think one of the boys has been experiment, what does he think..and you are thinking of talking to them about it, asking if they would like you to get some condoms.

See what he says.

He works from home and I do long shifts but our autistic adult son is in the house all the time so I would hope not.

You mean the dog used it? Would be a nightmare to get on without fingers

Now you’re just making things up. Nobody is abusing an animal.

OP, when he's back from walking the dogs and you've looked through the bins (if there's nothing there) then ask him outright. The reaction / body language should tell you all you need to know.