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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

My friend just screenshot a photo of my boyfriend on a dating site

987 replies

Mountaindewstar · 22/05/2024 22:17

Well well well what an absolute c*t! I hate that word but yep what a c*t!!
In a relationship with a man for 11 months, had the exclusive chat. See each other regularly, relationship seemed good. My friend has just sent me a screenshot of him on a dating site... so at 1st I tried to look at it as positively as can be ...maybe it's an old profile... but no he likes her profile and he has recently been active.

I am so hurt and gutted but I'm happy to say my anger has taken over!!!! We were meant to see each other for the whole weekend this weekend coming all planned, dinner booked, swimming, walks a lunch, cinema... obviously now im not going... any advice on what I should message, I dont feel he is owed the dignified face to face end it... seriously what an absolute bastard!!!
I don't want to be hysterical in my msg , classy would be good but also let him know what I have been shown!
I'm so glad he has never met this friend!! He has no idea who she is ... utter scumbag

OP posts:
Changingplace · 22/05/2024 22:19

What a bastard, if you want to be succinct you could simply forward on the screen shot with a short, ‘we’re finished’ and then block him.

AntiHop · 22/05/2024 22:19

Send him the screenshot and just say "busted you bastard."

I'm sorry op. What a scumbag.

GoingRoundInOvals · 22/05/2024 22:19

ohhh there was an MNetter years ago who this happened to. She ended up cat fishing him I think and meeting him by a penguin house in a zoo (??) to confront him.

though I'm sorry it's happened to you OP

hope you've got wine / chocolate / insert food or beverage of choice x

Wewereonnabreak · 22/05/2024 22:23

Wasn’t there another one, same thing. But she catfished the idiot into ‘meeting up’, somewhere trickier to get to. Then obviously just didn’t turn up, as she didn’t exist. So left him looking a bit silly. Least she could do. Then dumped him obviously. I think just ghosting him is best. Leaving him confused for ever.

GreyCarpet · 22/05/2024 22:30

Changingplace · 22/05/2024 22:19

What a bastard, if you want to be succinct you could simply forward on the screen shot with a short, ‘we’re finished’ and then block him.

That's what I'd do. No emotion. Just that.

Crazycrazylady · 22/05/2024 22:31

What changing place said except I don't even think I'd text anything. Send him the screenshot and block everywhere .

Bumblebeesandflowers · 22/05/2024 22:33

Get him to meet up somewhere near a webcam so you can have a laugh.

longdistanceclaraclara · 22/05/2024 22:35

Send him the image and block. Time
To move on.

Tigrela · 22/05/2024 22:37

I would just send him the screenshot with 'Bye Felicia' and then block

Original poster
Mountaindewstar · 22/05/2024 22:39

Thanks for the replies I am so hurt, my heart is racing, really shocked by this one actually! And takes alot to shock me.
Hurt but angry and I'm strong so I know I'll never ever go on a date with this slimy worm again! So I'm not sure I have the energy for the catfish suggestions.
My friend suggested not msging anything at all and then when it comes to this weekend leave him on read when he asks what time I'm going over , leave on read a good few hours... then send the screenshot.
I am so angry as when we had the exclusivity talk a couple months ago, someone had asked me out just after and I said no!! Being loyal to that twat!! Gggrrrrr

OP posts:
HeresMyBreakdown · 22/05/2024 22:41

I just wouldn't turn up to where you were supposed to meet and send the dating site photo to him.

kalokagathos · 22/05/2024 22:42

Ghost him

Wewereonnabreak · 22/05/2024 22:45

He doesn’t deserve any explanation , photo or anything else. If no energy for catfish humiliation, just ghost him.

parksom · 22/05/2024 22:48

Is there any chance at all someone else could be using his pics? Either because he's handsome and they want to pretend to be him... or someone looking to stir shit?
Just putting that out there in case. I would be tempted to make a fake profile and speak with him (or ask friend to do it) and get him number. Then if it's the same number then you know for absolute sure!

Frith2013 · 22/05/2024 22:49

Oh, I'd make 5 profiles and get him to agree to 5 different dates.

Obviously don't go on any of them.

doodlejump1980 · 22/05/2024 22:51

Make sure you book in for an std check

ThePoshUns · 22/05/2024 22:54

Is there a possibility someone has stolen his photo from FB or similar? This happened to someone I know. Only difference being my friend is gay and the dating site was heterosexual

ciaopizza · 22/05/2024 22:55

If you send him the screenshot he will say oh I just went on to have a look/someone liked me so I was curious/insert other excuse here. I would just message him and say you're not feeling it anymore and want to see if there's something better out there for you. And then block.

ManilowBarry · 22/05/2024 23:02

I wouldn't mention the dating site as he will twist it that you have been spying on him or some such crap.

I would text him -

Brain, I've got to be honest with you, I'm breaking up with you because you don't satisfy me in bed. I know we get on and enjoy each others company but the physical side of things is important to me. I wish you well. Goodbye.

Tel12 · 22/05/2024 23:02

I'm thinking that I'd probably leave it till the last minute then block him. Or just message Bye! With the screenshot. Hopefully you have a friend that you could spend the evening with. At least you have found out that he's not the guy you thought he was and you get to dump him.

WayOutOfLine · 22/05/2024 23:07

I would get this over and done with asap but that's just me, I'd hate to have this hanging over me for a day or two.

Just send him the shot and block. Or message and block.

It's hardly like you rushed into being exclusive anyway, what a dick!

Sceptical123 · 22/05/2024 23:14

Frith2013 · 22/05/2024 22:49

Oh, I'd make 5 profiles and get him to agree to 5 different dates.

Obviously don't go on any of them.

Absolutely this

Original poster
Mountaindewstar · 22/05/2024 23:15

ManilowBarry · 22/05/2024 23:02

I wouldn't mention the dating site as he will twist it that you have been spying on him or some such crap.

I would text him -

Brain, I've got to be honest with you, I'm breaking up with you because you don't satisfy me in bed. I know we get on and enjoy each others company but the physical side of things is important to me. I wish you well. Goodbye.

I love this 😂

OP posts:
Original poster
Mountaindewstar · 22/05/2024 23:17

doodlejump1980 · 22/05/2024 22:51

Make sure you book in for an std check

I just said this to my friend, will be sorting it out 1st thing tomorrow morning

OP posts:
Original poster
Mountaindewstar · 22/05/2024 23:19

WayOutOfLine · 22/05/2024 23:07

I would get this over and done with asap but that's just me, I'd hate to have this hanging over me for a day or two.

Just send him the shot and block. Or message and block.

It's hardly like you rushed into being exclusive anyway, what a dick!

I get exactly what your saying but seeing as hes wasted my time for months, I feel like ruining his weekend, so want to wait till last minutes after hes booked everything... and then block I think

OP posts: