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Original poster

My friend just screenshot a photo of my boyfriend on a dating site

987 replies

Mountaindewstar · 22/05/2024 22:17

Well well well what an absolute c*t! I hate that word but yep what a c*t!!
In a relationship with a man for 11 months, had the exclusive chat. See each other regularly, relationship seemed good. My friend has just sent me a screenshot of him on a dating site... so at 1st I tried to look at it as positively as can be ...maybe it's an old profile... but no he likes her profile and he has recently been active.

I am so hurt and gutted but I'm happy to say my anger has taken over!!!! We were meant to see each other for the whole weekend this weekend coming all planned, dinner booked, swimming, walks a lunch, cinema... obviously now im not going... any advice on what I should message, I dont feel he is owed the dignified face to face end it... seriously what an absolute bastard!!!
I don't want to be hysterical in my msg , classy would be good but also let him know what I have been shown!
I'm so glad he has never met this friend!! He has no idea who she is ... utter scumbag

OP posts:
TheFormidableMrsC · 29/05/2024 18:22

Good luck going forward OP Flowers

terrimom · 03/06/2024 18:03

You mean "ex-boyfriend" correct? Drop him like a rock. Go no contact. Ghost him. Delete his number, block him across all social. Don't check his FB, Insta, Snap or any other social that you follow him on. Don't let him follow you anywhere irl or on social. Move on, invest in yourself rn. Therapy, yoga, exercise, school, work, family, friends - purge him from your mind and get your self back to the strong, confident you that existed before this pos entered your life. Consider it a lesson learned, you're smarter now.

SoreAndTired1 · 03/06/2024 18:11

terrimom · 03/06/2024 18:03

You mean "ex-boyfriend" correct? Drop him like a rock. Go no contact. Ghost him. Delete his number, block him across all social. Don't check his FB, Insta, Snap or any other social that you follow him on. Don't let him follow you anywhere irl or on social. Move on, invest in yourself rn. Therapy, yoga, exercise, school, work, family, friends - purge him from your mind and get your self back to the strong, confident you that existed before this pos entered your life. Consider it a lesson learned, you're smarter now.

She did.

Two weeks ago.

Please Read The Full Thread before commenting, or at least read only the OP's posts by clicking on OP posts: See all down the bottom of OP's first post. It will take you to all the OPs replies on this thread. https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/relationships/5080774-my-friend-just-screenshot-a-photo-of-my-boyfriend-on-a-dating-site?postsby=Mountaindewstar

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https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/relationships/5080774-my-friend-just-screenshot-a-photo-of-my-boyfriend-on-a-dating-site?postsby=Mountaindewstar

Goodtogossip · 04/06/2024 11:12

Message saying you can't make it this weekend as you've had a better offer from someone you met on xxx (the dating site he's on). Say you've had a lovely time with him over the last 11 months but this new person is more into you, you've decided to go exclusive & you can see a future with them. Then block him.

ColdGirlWinter · 04/06/2024 11:38

@Goodtogossip It's all over now, the thread is coming up for a fortnight old and things have moved on.

ScrumpleDumplin · 11/06/2024 00:36

Only if he comes back at you with something.

I like the idea of you being in control of how this relationship ends.

I would keep the screen shot as a backup, doesn’t need to be used and take your time on deliberating how you want to end it. lim you say he waisted your time, now own the time you need to make a decision on how best.

You can have fun with what you choose and still exit the relationship as your better beautiful self.
you don’t need his reaction to what ever you plan evolves into but your plan can mean leaving with empowerment and pride in yourself while finding a healthy way to exit with a dash of confidence, joy and if still bitter- a laugh.

I wish you all the best and good health after he agreed to be sexually monogamous. You are worth so much more.

SheSellsSea · 11/06/2024 06:29

I’ve just had this with someone I was in quite a developed relationship with, it’s shocking.

Errors · 11/06/2024 13:14

I’ve not RTFT - only all of the OPs posts and I don’t know if you’re ever going to come back and read this OP but I have found you really inspiring, actually.
So many threads on here are from women who have been wronged and trying to excuse the guy’s behaviour but you wouldn’t be taken in by him. Not once. I really admire your strength and resolve and it’s really helping me with a similar situation I now find myself in.
I really hope you are still doing well

Original poster
Mountaindewstar · 12/06/2024 11:31

SheSellsSea · 11/06/2024 06:29

I’ve just had this with someone I was in quite a developed relationship with, it’s shocking.

Hi sorry to hear that your going through the same thing, it really is very shocking to see a profile of the man your in a relationship with on a dating site.
It really did hurt. I'm not going to pretend it hasnt. It has also affected my willingness to put myself out there and really open up in the future.
For now I'm staying single & trying to focus on improving my life in little ways that I can
Feel free to msg me about your situation or for any advice , its sometimes nice to speak to somebody that has been through the same thing
Take care x

OP posts:
Original poster
Mountaindewstar · 12/06/2024 11:34

Errors · 11/06/2024 13:14

I’ve not RTFT - only all of the OPs posts and I don’t know if you’re ever going to come back and read this OP but I have found you really inspiring, actually.
So many threads on here are from women who have been wronged and trying to excuse the guy’s behaviour but you wouldn’t be taken in by him. Not once. I really admire your strength and resolve and it’s really helping me with a similar situation I now find myself in.
I really hope you are still doing well

Aw thank you , I'm glad it has been inspiring to you.
I've stuck to my decision and although it wasnt an easy one at first, I know now as time has gone in it really was one of the best I've ever made.
No excuse he would of given me would have built up trust with him again. He broke any kind of bond we have.
He was just a greedy man out to get what he can.
As the weeks have gone on I've felt more peaceful, knowing that I am not in a situation where I can be cheated, played or lied to as I'm single!! Hes lost out, not me and it feels good x

OP posts:
RichardsGear · 18/06/2024 07:46

Choochoo21 · 23/05/2024 06:34

There’s no need for game playing or witty remarks.

Just be honest.

That your friend has sent you screenshots of him being active on a dating site.
And as you thought you were exclusive then you don’t want to see him again.

I've just deleted my post because I see I was way behind!

NisekoWhistler · 17/09/2024 08:24

Now and again I think of you OP and wonder how you're getting on. I hope that you're doing well.

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