My friend just screenshot a photo of my boyfriend on a dating site

[Mountaindewstar]

Well well well what an absolute c*t! I hate that word but yep what a c*t!!
In a relationship with a man for 11 months, had the exclusive chat. See each other regularly, relationship seemed good. My friend has just sent me a screenshot of him on a dating site... so at 1st I tried to look at it as positively as can be ...maybe it's an old profile... but no he likes her profile and he has recently been active.

I am so hurt and gutted but I'm happy to say my anger has taken over!!!! We were meant to see each other for the whole weekend this weekend coming all planned, dinner booked, swimming, walks a lunch, cinema... obviously now im not going... any advice on what I should message, I dont feel he is owed the dignified face to face end it... seriously what an absolute bastard!!!
I don't want to be hysterical in my msg , classy would be good but also let him know what I have been shown!
I'm so glad he has never met this friend!! He has no idea who she is ... utter scumbag

Personally, i would want to know what he has to say. I would let him know i know, in person and quietly watch and listen to his response. Then i would simply say 'ok' and leave. I would give myself time to think. And then send him a considered response.

I found out.. i heard you out, i have thought about it, and my trust is broken, so now I'm ending this.

Or.. i heard you out and i am willing to give things a shot even though my trust is injured.

What I'm trying to say is, you have a choice here. Everyone can say ltb but only you know what the relationship is worth and the details of his personality.

Some of us (as in humans) make stupid decisions for various reasons.

Btw i am not saying you should stay or leave. Im saying give yourself time and choice.

Sorry mners.. just the way i feel about it.

This happened to me last year , I sent him the screenshot and he rang me panicking saying he literally just went on it for someone to talk to , general chit chat.
I put the phone down and blocked him , I knew he was lying and I didn't want to let him see how upset I was.
I think hearing his bs response helped me get over him tbh
Liar till the very end
Hope you're ok OP

This! Straightforward and to the point.

You've dodged a bullet be thankful you're not in too deep with marriage and kids! Just send him an album cover pic of busted. Then simply block and move on with your life. Leave him guessing.. offer no explanation. He deserves no more of your time.

Ahhh... it meant to read ... a couple months in! Not ago. Just tried to edit it and it wont let me

I wouldn’t ghost him as he might then be glad he’s already got a dating profile up and running and will feel no guilt or remorse for what he’s done.

Send him the screenshot and block.

There’s no need for game playing or witty remarks.

Just be honest.

That your friend has sent you screenshots of him being active on a dating site.
And as you thought you were exclusive then you don’t want to see him again.

@Mountaindewstar

I think @Azandme has the best reply. Smart, a good use of wordplay. Not angry, just done. Ends on a confident note. Screenshot and block.

I really don't understand these threads on here where people become ridiculously devious to try and fuck over an ex. If he's on a dating site, he's already lining up a replacement. You'll bin him off, he will shrug and then arrange to take some other woman in your place without a second thought.

It might make you feel better to believe you're fucking him over, but the reality is the only person who will be hurting is you.

Just send him a message now telling him you know he's on the app. It's over. Bye.

This.
Tell him. Don’t listen to the excuses and that it’s all a lie and mix-up.
Get an STD check.
Block him from contacting you.
Move on without this loser.

Agreed. This is a good reply.
I'd do that or simply just send the screenshot and say nothing else and block.

Isn’t this just a sign of the times? People seem incapable of putting down their phone and switching off. Maybe he’s addictied to the thrill of online likes. Doesn’t mean he’d actually cheat.

Yup

This. Definitely. Mostly because it would give him a long lasting impression for a while

Sorry this has happened. 11 months is a long time . You will be ok as you’re no longer being lied to. Part of me thinks don’t even waste a message on him but I can see why you’d want to tell him what you know

Dear Dickhead
It's recently come to light that we have very different standards regarding relationships. Good luck with your search for a partner.

(or just - fuck off knobby)

Exactly the same happened to DD, three years in….a friend of a friend saw it and they matched so she could send the evidence to the mutual friend. DD just sent it to him, nothing else. The phone rang seconds later, pathetic excuses, his friend had posted it for a joke, it was an old profile, all BS. She dumped him there and then and blocked him everywhere.

then cried into her pillow, but he never saw any emotion from her.

Ghost him and make your own bumble profile with recent (and amazing) pics x

Set up a dating profile just as he has done

Blank him

Await reaction if any

Because if he reacts he will have seen it hence been looking it's a win win (for you)

Just talk to him, explain what you have seen, hear what he says.

you never know getting answers may help you forgive or move on

Who can be bothered with the drama? If he's on a dating site, he's a pig and he won't care what you say or do.

So just be factual - "I've seen you are active on a dating site so it's over between us. No need to respond."

"I thought we were on the same page about our relationship, but it turns out the page you are on is bumble.com. I have no interest in seeing you again, because I know I deserve better."

I think this is the classiest response. Direct, unemotional and dignified.

I'm so sorry he's treated you so badly.

Personally I would try not to bother with drama. Just block and leave him wondering abs try to arrange something else to do this weekend.

I would cancel the restaurant reservation though. They don't need to suffer financially because your ex is a twat

Please catfish him.