My friend just screenshot a photo of my boyfriend on a dating site

[Mountaindewstar]

Well well well what an absolute c*t! I hate that word but yep what a c*t!!
In a relationship with a man for 11 months, had the exclusive chat. See each other regularly, relationship seemed good. My friend has just sent me a screenshot of him on a dating site... so at 1st I tried to look at it as positively as can be ...maybe it's an old profile... but no he likes her profile and he has recently been active.

I am so hurt and gutted but I'm happy to say my anger has taken over!!!! We were meant to see each other for the whole weekend this weekend coming all planned, dinner booked, swimming, walks a lunch, cinema... obviously now im not going... any advice on what I should message, I dont feel he is owed the dignified face to face end it... seriously what an absolute bastard!!!
I don't want to be hysterical in my msg , classy would be good but also let him know what I have been shown!
I'm so glad he has never met this friend!! He has no idea who she is ... utter scumbag

This!!

I would keep it short and sweet…
“Listen, I was going to ghost you, but realised that would be unkind. I have to tell you the truth about why this isn’t working for me. Turns out size really DOES matter.”

Combine the suggestions about shit sex life and the dating site.

Bob you can see from this screenshot that I now know what you've been up to. Obviously it's a blow that someone I trusted could be so pathetically dishonest, but I've got to say it's actually a relief as it was getting boring faking all those orgasms.

I thought the OP wanted suggestions for a classy response. Making nasty — and perhaps more to the point, untrue — comments about her boyfriend’s sexual performance or appendage size is anything but classy.

He has behaved very poorly and that is the only point that needs to be made.

Was it eharmony?

That company used my profile after I left the site claiming I was still a member.

They also continued to charge me $$ and took a lot of money from my bank account without my permission.

I was no longer a member and had shut down my account.

I won a claim against them and I was refunded money.

What are you talking about? Who said we had the chat at 9 months??

Don't message him at all, ever again. Surely you mean ex boyfriend?

I like this

A family member of mine was married and someone used her photo to set up a fake profile on a dating site. They took it off social media.

Well.yes hes now my ex boyfriend, it had literally just happened before I wrote the thread

Not e harmony and not fake, it wasnt just the photos, the age, height, hobbies, children , music tastes all the same

you could always do the mature thing of actually talking to him?

U think hes worth that? Hes humiliated me

I'd just ghost him. Block everything and don't tell him why.

I think if he’s going to treat you like that he deserves a bit of a wake up call. I’d do what a PP suggested and set up some fake accounts and waste his time like he has yours. Make him feel the confused, disappointed mug he’s probably made you feel. He deserves it. Might make him think twice about how he treats other women in the future too.

I think the most important thing is to keep your dignity

don’t invite drama with fake profiles , cryptic messages or confrontation

factual and brief send the screenshot asap
and something like your busted we’re finished don’t reply not interested

"Sorry Dave, I'm just not that into you, lets not waste any more of each others time"

I wouldn't mention the dating site, leave him wondering.

Fair enough.

By the way, dignity doesn't matter - not at all - unless it matters to you personally.

Saying "stay dignified" is another way for women to be silenced and prevented from defending themselves or seeking justice against those who wrong them. So that's not why I am suggesting you literally never say another word to him again.

He has wronged you. However, it will hurt him far, far more to be absolutely blocked and totally ignored than anything you can say.

He will not be sorry, you cannot make him see how wrong he is. He has already proven that by his actions. Men like that just don't care and you can't make him.

You have one way left to punish him - absolutely ghost him without even a clue as to why. And never talk to him again. That will annoy his ego, he will hate not being in control, he will always be left wondering and he will not have the satisfaction of lying to you further, gaslighting you, calling you hysterical and all the horrible things men like that do when they get caught.

Don't say a word, just remove him from your life completely with no explanation. It's what he deserves.

Asking what ? Op definitely ruin his weekend either leave it till the last minute to dump him or completely ghost him.

How about

"And I turned down a date for this "screenshot"" never again you live and learn

Something along those lines

Indicates you don't really need a dating site for another offer unlike him.

It is nothing about women being silenced or any other rubbish people want to make up for this 'feminist' crap, I am a grown adult female and I treat others the way I treat people and want to be treated if I have an issue I speak to them like a grown up I do not need to come across like I am a teenager and actually engage the brains I was born with, if anyone male or female wants to treat me badly that is on them not me

You're literally babbling. And I'm not a feminist.

Do better. Nothing you said here was relevant.

I’d either go with:
He is a let down in bed.
Or
Just don’t turn up. No explanation. Don’t block-yet-just let him stew.

Umm you did in your message timed at 22.39 “ when we had the exclusivity chat a couple of months ago”