My friend just screenshot a photo of my boyfriend on a dating site

[Mountaindewstar]

Well well well what an absolute c*t! I hate that word but yep what a c*t!!
In a relationship with a man for 11 months, had the exclusive chat. See each other regularly, relationship seemed good. My friend has just sent me a screenshot of him on a dating site... so at 1st I tried to look at it as positively as can be ...maybe it's an old profile... but no he likes her profile and he has recently been active.

I am so hurt and gutted but I'm happy to say my anger has taken over!!!! We were meant to see each other for the whole weekend this weekend coming all planned, dinner booked, swimming, walks a lunch, cinema... obviously now im not going... any advice on what I should message, I dont feel he is owed the dignified face to face end it... seriously what an absolute bastard!!!
I don't want to be hysterical in my msg , classy would be good but also let him know what I have been shown!
I'm so glad he has never met this friend!! He has no idea who she is ... utter scumbag

So would you mention the dating site or not?

Ooo another good option.. Yes I’d go for this. Not mention the dating site or anything. Just the text. It’s not me, it’s you. You can’t satisfy me etc as above. Leading him to doubt his sexual prowess 😂. Amazing.

What a Wanker

This exact same thing happened to me... but I was your friend who her BF had liked. I was really nervous about telling her thAt not only had I seen him on there but he had also liked me, but I did.

She had a chat with him and he talked himself out of it. She's still together with him now. Though (I know this sounds odd) but they are actually really happy together

I just wish this punched in the stomach feeling would go away 😭

I like the idea of setting him up on multiple dates and not showing up. But it's up to you, OP. Maybe it's time you don't want to waste on him.

You're feeling hurt from the shock, but it will pass over time. I'm sorry. Nothing surprises me anymore when it comes to men.

Wow , cannot believe they are still together! That wont be happening in this situation, your a good friend :) thank goodness for our good female friends hey ?

It will in time

Just be glad you found out now rather than another year or two further on.

Indeed

That’s the perfect answer OP ^
it’s classy and not hysterical at all, very calm and reasonable.

Just text him “We’re done. You know why. Don’t contact me again.” Then block

But definitely wait till the last minute before the holiday.

@Mountaindewstar

He's so convincing and she was so in love with him that I was nervous that he would say I was bullshitting and she would believe it - and I would lose her friendship over it. It was a very difficult 12 month period after that. I didn't want to see him. It was awkward but I think it was this incident that led them to having some honest conversations about exclusivity and their feelings for each other, We all came out the other side but not overnight.

Don't go trying to set up dates etc, on the off chance he was just looking for interest/ boredom/ whatever reason and doesn't bite it might sow a seed of doubt. Don't let it. The fact he was looking and responding is enough.

Similarly, don't send messages about him being crap in bed. What's the point? It's not that funny, or the truth and gives him an opening to send something abusive or personal back (perhaps via another channel). You'll feel shit.

I'd be inclined to wait, stand him up and send the screenshots only. Waste his weekend then move on.

I go with @ManilowBarry
Or ghost him
Don't mention the dating site he will turn it round on you.
So shit in bed I have to get my rabbit out when you've gone ......
Good luck don't dwell enjoy your weekend without the wanker.x

He msg me last night saying he misses me 🤢🤮

I'd message, "I thought we were on the same page about our relationship, but it turns out the page you are on is bumble.com. I have no interest in seeing you again, because I know I deserve better."

Obviously insert the relevant dating site.

This is brilliant

Also... venting again sorry 😂 ... how stupid is he? Thinking he wouldn't be seen by someone I know??! Or people that know us as a couple? His whole family / friends know we a couple ( or were) how very stupid of him

9 months seems a long time before having the exclusivity chat. I'd of thought 2-3 was more the norm, could there have been a clue in that? Who was dragging their feet with it?

Oh I'd definitely keep him hanging

Set up a few fake profiles, like his profile or whatever

As a pp mentioned, there was one on here a while back who did this, flirted with him, arranged to meet, never showed up etc etc

"Hey I won't be coming this weekend, I've got plans with friend instead. So weird but I think you know eachother? Small world."

Send screenshot, block.

Sorry he turned out to be a twat!

My boyfriend was on a site but with a dormant profile (as he'd not deleted it). I was not happy and he removed it. Not quite the same as liking people. It sounds like he likes having his ego stroked. I'd talk to him though, see what he has to say for himself.

Presumably he's not having much luck with the dating site...

What would bug him most is if you just never wrote to him again.

You don't even have to block him, just never ever replied to him.

If you block him he'll know that he's been rumbled if you say something nasty he'll be full of justifications.

I would either write saying that you weren't well suited and you want to end the relationship or I would just completely ignore him.

Dump him. Can't believe you're asking.