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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Update - Divorce is in sight from sulking exh!

190 replies

jamaisjedors · 12/12/2023 16:36

I posted a thread on mumsnet 5 years ago 😵and received amazing support from posters on here - couldn't have got through this without you all😘

Now the judge has finally come back with a verdict and she has ruled that we are divorced (no fault[ and rejected all of exh's claims of fraud etc. financially. She has made one ruling financially which is not particularly in my favour, and also reduced maintenance again but that's the price to pay for my freedom!

I had a nerve-wracking couple of weeks waiting to find out if exh was going to contest the decision, which would mean another 2 years of court and back and forth, but miraculously he has signed the paperwork accepting it and so have I, which means we all but divorced - just waiting for the official paperwork and update to marriage certificate etc to go through.

We also have to go back to a solicitor's to finalise the financial agreement, which I'm hoping will happen in the next month or so, so by early 2024, everything should be done and dusted.

I should be breaking out the champagne but it's a weird kind of anti-climax, still bits to tie up, still got to see exh again at the solicitor's, still in contact with my lawyer etc.

Plus I think after a rollercoaster 5 years I don't think I can let my guard down yet, I've had so many setbacks and delays.

I didn't want to jinx it by posting too early but my lawyer assures me that there is no going back on the divorce now, so it's finally time to share the news and thank everyone again for their amazing support.

Previous thread here: https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/relationships/4125147-Divorcing-sulking-DH-it-WILL-happen-in-2021?reply=130620438

OP posts:
Magenta82 · 12/12/2023 16:38

I'm so pleased for you! It must have been such a slog and so frustrating! Well done on making it to the end. X

Spottywombat · 12/12/2023 16:41

Bravo!

Faultymain5 · 12/12/2023 16:42

Very happy for you. I’ve been silently following since lockdown. I think the system you live under has got to be the worst for everyone’s mental health. So glad you’ve made it out the other side.

SpringleDingle · 12/12/2023 16:43

Well done!! I remember your earlier posts. Enjoy your freedom!

SeulementUneFois · 12/12/2023 16:44

Well done on finally getting this done!
Hope the financials aren't too painful, but you'll be glad to be free of this now.

SeamsLegit · 12/12/2023 16:47

Yeesss!!!!!! ❤️

GrumpyPanda · 12/12/2023 16:47

Congrats! So... a new thread to celebrate, yes? Good on you for getting this much nearer to genuine closure. And I hope you'll be coming out with your fair share of the family home. Weren't you contemplating buying once the boys are off to university?

simolias · 12/12/2023 16:48

Congratulations! My goodness it took them long enough didn't it? But you can now celebrate, you are finally free, no longer married to him. Hopefully you will crack open that champagne with someone and celebrate, you deserve to.

Ofcourseshecan · 12/12/2023 16:49

Congratulations, Jamals, and we’ll done persevering through all the obstacles piled up by your ex and the crazy system.

Enjoy your freedom!

AngelontopoftheTree · 12/12/2023 16:51

Oh @jamaisjedors so happy it's nearly done!
I've been on your other threads under various names, and am in awe of how you've held it altogether through 5 years of shit!

HazelBite · 12/12/2023 16:51

Do post when its all done and dusted, I know from others that the "financials" can take quite a while to get sorted.

HalebiHabibti · 12/12/2023 16:52

5 years :o you have been astoundingly resilient OP!

Pashazade · 12/12/2023 16:53

Oh wonderful news Jamais! Fingers crossed it's all done and dusted for good, very soon.

furtivetussling · 12/12/2023 16:53

The light at the end of the tunnel comes into view at last.
Flowers

Purplepeoniesdroppingpetals · 12/12/2023 16:54

I so admire your stamina and have followed with sympathetic interest in whether you’d ever manage to extricate yourself from your marriage. Congratulations on being so nearly there, op!

RandomMess · 12/12/2023 16:55

🥳

Bloody hell is it really 5 years 😳😳😳😳😳

So glad you are a huge step further forwards!

Summerhillsquare · 12/12/2023 16:58

5 years seems tantamount to cruel and usual treatment!

ttcttc · 12/12/2023 16:58

Maintenance only stands for 12 months then you can apply to cms 😊

nofaithinmen · 12/12/2023 17:01

Oh wow, congratulations for this major step 🥳

AgnesX · 12/12/2023 17:02

Congratulations. I read all your threads last year, so pleased that is eventually happening.

Fantastic early Christmas present 🎁🎁

LadyMacbethssweetArabianhand · 12/12/2023 17:09

I've been a silent cheerleader for you from the start and this is fabulous news. Well done for keeping on going. Freedom is within your grasp

Lunde · 12/12/2023 17:12

ttcttc · 12/12/2023 16:58

Maintenance only stands for 12 months then you can apply to cms 😊

Pretty sure Jamais is in France

LoveStHelier · 12/12/2023 17:13

That is brilliant news. I read all your threads. So glad the end is in sight for you 😃

AngelontopoftheTree · 12/12/2023 17:24

Lunde · 12/12/2023 17:12

Pretty sure Jamais is in France

Yes she is. And IIRC at least one of her DC is over 18.

BlackAmericanoNoSugar · 12/12/2023 17:24

How fantastic (fantastique?, not great at French Grin). I was late to your story so have only been following for a mere 3 years and I'm glad it's finally winding down. Even if the financial decision hasn't been particularly favourable to you it must still be better than shelling out on legal fees for years on end.

Here's hoping that he fucks off to the far side of fuck and then fucks off a bit further and you never have to deal with his nonsense again.

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