Update - Divorce is in sight from sulking exh!

[jamaisjedors]

I posted a thread on mumsnet 5 years ago 😵and received amazing support from posters on here - couldn't have got through this without you all😘

Now the judge has finally come back with a verdict and she has ruled that we are divorced (no fault[ and rejected all of exh's claims of fraud etc. financially. She has made one ruling financially which is not particularly in my favour, and also reduced maintenance again but that's the price to pay for my freedom!

I had a nerve-wracking couple of weeks waiting to find out if exh was going to contest the decision, which would mean another 2 years of court and back and forth, but miraculously he has signed the paperwork accepting it and so have I, which means we all but divorced - just waiting for the official paperwork and update to marriage certificate etc to go through.

We also have to go back to a solicitor's to finalise the financial agreement, which I'm hoping will happen in the next month or so, so by early 2024, everything should be done and dusted.

I should be breaking out the champagne but it's a weird kind of anti-climax, still bits to tie up, still got to see exh again at the solicitor's, still in contact with my lawyer etc.

Plus I think after a rollercoaster 5 years I don't think I can let my guard down yet, I've had so many setbacks and delays.

I didn't want to jinx it by posting too early but my lawyer assures me that there is no going back on the divorce now, so it's finally time to share the news and thank everyone again for their amazing support.

Previous thread here: https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/relationships/4125147-Divorcing-sulking-DH-it-WILL-happen-in-2021?reply=130620438

I remember your threads!!
So happy to see it FINALLY is coming to an end. You might not feel like popping the champagne. The relief of not having to deal with him/solicitors might be slow to come. But what a weight to be lifted from your shoulders!

I have a feeling you will be feeling a bit dazed. Wait until new year's eve, when you can ring in the changes and celebrate! Congratulations and well done x

I've read all your threads Jamais. I wish you a fantastic new life, fingers crossed the divorce settlement does not take long!

Same here - been with you from the start. Can't believe it's 5years.

Your story and tenacity has inspired many others, seen you quoted on other threads over the years.

So pleased for you - here's to a great Christmas and New Year 😊

Congratulations
I think I've done my whole divorce and virtually forgotten it since you started yours.
Be kind and celebrate when you feel like it.

Congratulations and well done. Another one who followed from the start.

I'll break out the champagne on your behalf. Congratulations.

I hope you find the energy to celebrate soon.

Congratulations @jamaisjedors it has been a long slog. You have inspired and given encouragement to others. So, so pleased that the end is nearly there.
When you are ready, that Champagne will taste wonderful.

Oh my word - congratulations dear @jamaisjedors on this long awaited huge leap forward. I so admire your mental strength and tenacity over this long while - fingers crossed for you that all will be done and dusted as early in the new year as possible.

Plus I think after a rollercoaster 5 years I don't think I can let my guard down yet, I've had so many setbacks and delays.

This ^^ is very wise. The scorpion may well still have a sting in his tail. Hope he stings himself! 🌹

Oh @jamaisjedors you've really been through the mill - 5 ruddy years. I remember your earlier threads and now your dear boys are almost adults (one is already I think?)

You did the right thing to get out. What an abusive relationship. I wish you all the very best going forward 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉

I've followed your threads from the start and I'm so happy that you are at last on the final lap
🍾🍾🍾

Now there’s a Christmas present! So glad the end is in sight after dragging on for so long.

Congratulations! I hope the finances get sorted soon and in a fairer way.

What wonderful news! Congratulations @jamaisjedors. Hope things are going swimmingly with your boys and Mr DJ. Can see why it still feels unfinished with other bits dragging on. Happy that you’re free at last!

At last!

As soon as I saw the thread title I had to check - could that be Jamais...? And it was! What a huge slog you've had to get to this point. I'm so very pleased for you x

It's unsurprising that you a bit deflated, the financial side is equally, or more important than the "divorce",
I'm actually surprised it's happened in that order.
My best ff is going through something similar, except they were also business together, (with him having 51% as per another appalling French law) her H is still at home in their mortgage free home.
it's appalling that it's allowed.
He has bullied, lied, coerced, spied, stalked, & is willing to lose everything in his seething pit of jealousy, & hate driven vendetta.
The letters go to & fro, various notaires, judges play ping pong with her life.
She is penniless, has lost her income, (her car/computer, phone belonged to the business.)
& still despicable divorce procedure is still ongoing.
France is a disgrace blatantly disadvantaging women in this scenario.

So massive congrats jamais.
Wasn't there talk of a party ?

Amazing news, but I can understand how it must almost be an anticlimax after anticipating it for so long. May 2024 be your year!

I've been reading and silently cheering you from early on. I'm glad there is some good progress on the divorce front and everything else in your life. have an amazing Christmas on the back of this!

And a Thank you! I've not been in the situation but I have seen your threads shared on other pages to give inspiration to others who are struggling. It has been lovely to follow a strong woman ❤️

Congratulations and well done xx

I'm absolutely delighted to read your update @jamaisjedors.

I'd like to suggest to you that because of everything you've been through and that your (very soon to be) Ex husband put you through, you have been in a state of "heightened alert" for the past 5 or longer years.

You need to give yourself time to decompress. Time to come down from DEFCON 5 where every little thing might have had a hidden meaning or some sting in the tail that would reveal itself over time.

Just a suggestion but that bottle of champagne should be opened on NYE at 23:55 so that you can toast in the New Year with new prospects and a fresh start.

I really really am so pleased that even though it has taken as long as it has, the light at the end of the tunnel is finally here!!!!

Congratulations Jamais!
👏💐👏💐👏💐👏💐👏💐

Frolic in the sunlit uplands of true singledom Jamais!
So pleased for you

Wow!! I’ve been following your threads since you wrote the first one, how far you’ve come Jamais! I’m so delighted for you.

The best Christmas present!

I cant believe Ive been following this for 5 years, but my God Jamais, youve kept strong and been the living embodiement of both the MN classics - LTB and KOKO
I lift my hat to you, and wish you joy and freedom for the new year, and maybe a lifting of the guard - you've done it xxxx