Update - Divorce is in sight from sulking exh!

[jamaisjedors]

I posted a thread on mumsnet 5 years ago 😵and received amazing support from posters on here - couldn't have got through this without you all😘

Now the judge has finally come back with a verdict and she has ruled that we are divorced (no fault[ and rejected all of exh's claims of fraud etc. financially. She has made one ruling financially which is not particularly in my favour, and also reduced maintenance again but that's the price to pay for my freedom!

I had a nerve-wracking couple of weeks waiting to find out if exh was going to contest the decision, which would mean another 2 years of court and back and forth, but miraculously he has signed the paperwork accepting it and so have I, which means we all but divorced - just waiting for the official paperwork and update to marriage certificate etc to go through.

We also have to go back to a solicitor's to finalise the financial agreement, which I'm hoping will happen in the next month or so, so by early 2024, everything should be done and dusted.

I should be breaking out the champagne but it's a weird kind of anti-climax, still bits to tie up, still got to see exh again at the solicitor's, still in contact with my lawyer etc.

Plus I think after a rollercoaster 5 years I don't think I can let my guard down yet, I've had so many setbacks and delays.

I didn't want to jinx it by posting too early but my lawyer assures me that there is no going back on the divorce now, so it's finally time to share the news and thank everyone again for their amazing support.

Previous thread here: https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/relationships/4125147-Divorcing-sulking-DH-it-WILL-happen-in-2021?reply=130620438

🥂🍾Les bulles pour Jamais!🍾🥂

Ah right. Apologies! Didn't realise.

I've read your threads @jamaisjedors and marvelled at your tenacity, so glad you've managed to finally, finally get near to the finish line! I hope 2024 will be the year you can forget all this stress and get on with your life

I should be breaking out the champagne but it's a weird kind of anti-climax

I can understand this.
I think its because its been a hard, long road to get to this point.

It reminds me of Marathon runners. When they cross the finish line, they do this weak fist pump, but then collapse to the floor.
It's not that they are unhappy for finishing the marathon, just that they don't have the energy to celebrate, at that moment.
But they crack open the champagne later.

It may be that your energy has been focused on getting to this point, all you can manage is a weak fist pump. And that's OK.

Give yourself some time and maybe plan to have an extra glass of champagne on New Year's eve as a well done for getting through these years. 🍾🍸

Oh MERRY CHRISTMAS you utter superwoman. And a belated happy birthday. I've been following your nightmare situation from the start and the grace, fair mindedness and determination that you've shown often come into my thoughts and give me a shove on.

I couldn't be more pleased for you that even if you're not quite at the full stop, it's in sight.

Been following the whole time! Congrats!

I've been following you since almost the beginning and am so, so pleased for you Jamais. What a wonderful Christmas present. 🥂

Just the financials to sort and then you are finally free from the millstone that is now officially your ex-husband.

I hope you and the boys and Mr DJ have a wonderful Christmas 🎄 .
2024 is already looking good for you.

Joyeux Noël et Bonne Année.

That's fantastic news. I've been a silent follower since reading your first thread while I was on maternity leave.

Congratulations! So happy for you Jamais. You’re a huge inspiration to many woman who have followed your story. Wishing you and your family future happiness and peace of mind, so deserved. Hope Mr.DJ is a continuing source of happiness too.

Oh my dizzy days!! I have Never read a mumsnet post so quickly in my whole life!!!
so so happy for u xx

I'm so very pleased for you, you're an absolute star

Oh WOW! FINALLY!!

I think the 'anti-climax' feeling is your mind saying "We have been here so many times before, I refuse to get excited this time". The 'reality' will hit you soon and so will the absolute JOY.

I agree, the financial hit is a small price to pay to finally be free. Congratulations!

Hooray!

I followed your first thread. I sympathise with him being mentally ill, but equally thank fuck you're out of that.

Congratulations! I remember your first thread when he was frankly terrifying.

So glad the end is in sight.

Hallelujah !!

Phew!!!

I am so pleased for you. Hope your have a lovely Christmas x

Am so pleased for you - I followed your previous threads and goodness you've been through the ringer with him. How are the DC now?

I think it's time to put the champagne on ice, which in itself is a massive, massive achievement. And then the corks pop when it truly is done early next year.

So pleased for you, jamais - and not before time! Fingers crossed for the financials and Happy Christmas

Silent follower here - what brilliant news! You are amazing 💪🏻

Amazing news. Well done, freedom awaits!
Looking back at your first thread, isn't it incredible how so many women post the same story and are asking the same things?

• Am I being oversensitive?
• Should I just get over it?

And the answer as you have shown, is NO! Sulking, silent treatment and "punishing" for perceived slights are not OK and not normal. I'm sure others will draw strength from you. 💐

I'm so happy for you! You've shown such strength and resilience over such a long process. Be happy, you deserve it

Hurrah! Been here from the start, with various NC. So very very happy for you @jamaisjedors

My god he was a tenacious fucker. Well done. If it's any consolation I crashed my car coming out of my divorce meeting with the judge. I think a bit of anticlimax is normal.

Gradually the cloud will lift. Good luck for a bright future.