Husband got annoyed at shoes I was wearing to airport and said I needed to make more effort

[Mathea]

I was hoping to get some views on something that happened a couple of days ago.

My husband and I got into a taxi to go to the airport. We were off on holiday.

As soon as I got in the taxi, he looked at my shoes and got annoyed. He said 'you're not wearing those old trainers to the airport are you, why didn't you wear your new ones?'

I said I didn't because my new ones were covered in mud from a park run, and I wanted to bring trainers on holiday and may as well wear them to the airport (all the other shoes I was bringing were sandals). I said I didn't think they were that bad, although they definitely don't look new.

He got annoyed and irritated. He says 'it's important that you make an effort when you go to the airport' and that I 'don't look scruffy'.

Once we were at the airport, I questioned him about what exactly was so bad about them, and I said I thought it was weird how he was so annoyed. He said they are awful. He then started talking about how it's important to make an effort in a marriage.

On the plane, I felt quite flat and a bit upset by all this. I'm not fussed that he doesn't dig my old trainers. It was the way he got annoyed about them as we were off on holiday, and that I felt he was embarrassed by me.

I then wondered if I was being too sensitive.

Are the old trainers really so terrible? Pic attached.

Would this bother others, or would you just brush it off? Do others think, like I do, that it's weird that he got annoyed?

Was he hoping for an upgrade? He sounds like a twat.

That's not about the trainers. Btw, the trainers are fine.
What's going on in your marriage?

You don't have a trainer problem, you have a DH problem.

Your trainers are absolutely fine, not even the slightest bit scruffy. Even if they were, making an effort to go to the airport is not a thing!

I'm sorry he's made you feel so flat. Does he normally say things to put you down/keep you in line or is this out of character?

Nothing wrong with those at all! How is your relationship generally?

This stood out for me:

He then started talking about how it's important to make an effort in a marriage.

How odd. Does he think it’s 1957, when everyone wore hats and gloves on the plane?

Nothing wrong with your trainers.

What's the backstory in your relationship?
What else is going on?

Trainers look just fine. I hope your husband calmed down and you are enjoying your holiday. Is he often mean or stressy?

Trainers are fine OP! how mean of him.

What is your relationship like on the physical side? Does he still show he’s attracted to you?

I feel the trainers are a symptom of an underlying issue of how he perceives you perhaps.

It would bother me A LOT!
it would mean a very significant problem in the marriage imo and not with me or my trainers.
the trainers look fine by the way.

I tell my DH he can’t wear his old jogging bottoms (that actually have a hole in the crotch) in public, but other than that I think it’s odd to be embarrassed about what your partner is wearing.

He doesn’t sound very pleasant from this little snippet.

Take trainers off in airport and walk barefoot...see if that is more suitable for his lordship.
Tell him to fuck off...its for your comfort .. tell him also youll be watching his habits like a hawk

Another one here to say this is nothing to do with the trainers.

I wish people wouldn't pass comment on your trainers. Besides the bloody point. If you wanted to wear clown shoes on the plane that is your business.

OP your husband sounds critical and controlling and I suspect this incident is one of many.

I was expecting filthy, old, terrible looking trainers. Those trainers are totally fine. It sounds like he was generally irritated by you at the time and looking for something to complain about.

It does sound like it’s more about his ego and how you should be doing your best to look attractive “for him”.

Those look like new trainers to me 😳

Your husband sounds unhinged

They are a bit ugly, but so what? He's being mean and weird if he thinks you need to be a better dressed accessory for him.

And what does he look like?

They look quite new and the right sort of thing for traveling in.

WTAF!?? Your DH sounds like a total twat and I agree this doesn’t seem to be about trainers.

Jesus Christ, your trainers are absolutely fine and really not the problem here!
He would have been horrified to see me flying to Florida in my Crocs and socks this summer 🤣

Actually I think my plain white Vans I wore on holiday look older than that- I found there was a tiny hole near the toe 🙀

I’d say it’s got nothing to do with what shoes you were wearing.

Has he been acting odd or critical on any other occasions recently?

It's not about the trainers!

Your husband is passing comment about your appearance and clearly thinking about it. Why? Is this recent?

What was he wearing?