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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Husband been on a stag do in Marbella and a random girl has messaged me……

500 replies

Mumma2Ro · 06/05/2023 21:42

Some fake account has messaged me on instagram.
to tell me my husband paid for a prostitute when on a recent stag do in Marbella!
what the fuck do I do!?!!!!!???

OP posts:
BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 06/05/2023 21:43

How precise were the details? How would this person know your name?

Sounds like a hoax to me.

Aquamarine1029 · 06/05/2023 21:44

Show him the message, without saying a word, right to face. His reaction will probably tell you everything you need to know.

TakingTheCake · 06/05/2023 21:45

Aquamarine1029 · 06/05/2023 21:44

Show him the message, without saying a word, right to face. His reaction will probably tell you everything you need to know.

This. I don't think this is necessarily a hoax. I think you need to ask him.

Scottishskifun · 06/05/2023 21:46

Aquamarine1029 · 06/05/2023 21:44

Show him the message, without saying a word, right to face. His reaction will probably tell you everything you need to know.

This!

SweetSakura · 06/05/2023 21:47

It doesn't sound like a hoax to me

LysHastighed · 06/05/2023 21:47

Your bank account might give you some indication, before you confront him

Barbarbarf · 06/05/2023 21:48

Why would someone do this as a hoax? It could be one of his mates with a dummy account (and a conscious). I would do as above, face to face and see what he does/says

Starlitestarbright · 06/05/2023 21:48

There's no smoke without fire I suspect someone is trying to give you a heads up

Itdjgsurchg · 06/05/2023 21:50

Are you friends with anyone on the stag do or their partners? Just wondering if anyone might want you to know but not want your husband to know they were the one who told you?

growgrowinggrown · 06/05/2023 21:51

I would be inclined to think it is one of the other stags girlfriend/wife has a conscious and thinks you should know.

If he has been on a stag in Marbella it can only be someone who knows that, and knows you as a couple (to find you on insta).

Original poster
Mumma2Ro · 06/05/2023 21:52

The person messaging me has said she met them all out in a bar. And got talking to 2 of the boys (she mentions their names)
and she said she got lots of juicy stories out of them.
one being that my husband slept with a prostitute and that another one of their friends met a girl out there and had sex with her.
She calls my husband by his name and calls him the big guy.
but then she said she never actually met my husband….. so how would she know he was a big guy then!?

OP posts:
mycatsanutter · 06/05/2023 21:53

It's a very random thing for someone to make up . You are going to have to confront him .

Original poster
Mumma2Ro · 06/05/2023 21:57

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 06/05/2023 21:43

How precise were the details? How would this person know your name?

Sounds like a hoax to me.

Exactly! How would she know my name and find me on instagram?? I’m not sure what to do and if I believe it. But then why would someone make this up ??

OP posts:
Barbarbarf · 06/05/2023 21:57

Yes, why would they make it up....

Tirediam · 06/05/2023 21:59

I’d also go with it being a wife/partner of someone who is with him and had been told and thinks you should know

IAteAllTheTomatoes · 06/05/2023 21:59

Can you verify that she is a real person and is in Marbella at the moment?

It seems strange that she would have the surnames of random ersonal she met ina bar and also their wives' details.

Is there a shit stirrer closer to home who knows they are away & has a reason to cause problems? Is your partner a good liar? Most aren't & you'll know by his reaction when you confront him.

CreamTeaThievery · 06/05/2023 22:00

I think you have to confront him, it would be very unlikely someone has made this up.

mycatsanutter · 06/05/2023 22:02

Where is he now ?

insatiableme · 06/05/2023 22:04

Bets on one of his friends partners. Friend has told their wife/partner and they feel you should know. I think you should also consider a STI test to be safe.

SweetSakura · 06/05/2023 22:05

insatiableme · 06/05/2023 22:04

Bets on one of his friends partners. Friend has told their wife/partner and they feel you should know. I think you should also consider a STI test to be safe.

Agreed

stupendous1 · 06/05/2023 22:07

I agree with above. Got to be one of his friends partners letting you know anonymously

Topee · 06/05/2023 22:07

I’d be inclined to believe it too. Sorry

Mari9999 · 06/05/2023 22:07

OP, do you suppose that your husband , if he were out with a hooker stopped to share your contact information? Do you think that his drunken friends were passing out your contact information?

This sounds like the work of some twisted trouble maker or the actions of an angry person. Your husband may or may not have done anything, and you would be wise to get with your life. This person does not presumably does not know you or your husband, and it is not likely that she is acting in your best interest.

Clementinesucks · 06/05/2023 22:09

All you have to do is show him the message. You’ll know if he’s lying.

Kick him out if it’s true but I have a feeling you are not going to do that because you are looking for advice on mn when there is a straight forward, if difficult, solution. At least make him get tested.

Pocketfullofdogtreats · 06/05/2023 22:10

I would also be inclined to think it's a shit-stirrer. I would show him, though, but expect him to be innocent.