I am so sorry that you are embarrassing yourself by showing your almost total lack of comprehension on what has been said between me and a few other PP's on this subject, on this thread @MrsMikeDrop, but I suppose the fact that we are all anonymous saves you from the even worse embarrassment of potentially almost the whole world knowing about it 🤭
I doubt that you have the foggiest idea why I am saying this, so I will try and explain more eloquently than I have sadly managed so far:
I understand the saying
"There's no smoke without fire", very well MrsMike, which is why I asked @Starlitestarbright on about page 2 to please - I hope I was polite and used the word "please" - not use that phrase.
My question to you MrsMike, although related, was not 'what does the phrase
"There's no smoke without fire" mean, but rather
'Can you explain to me please, why/how you think that the phrase
"There's no smoke without fire"
can be, in your own words, both "very useful and relevant"?
As I said much earlier in this thread, I think that that phrase has the potential to be very dangerous. Iam going to give you an extreme example now (which I sincerely hope doesn't lead to heated discussions about my choice of example. I know it is a very emotive subject, and probably not a very good choice for an example, but I am using it in the hope that more Mumsnetters - and particularly you in this instance MrsMike - will understand what I am saying, because they can understand the scenario...
ExtremeExample:
A rumour has come to light that a paedophile has been released from prison into the area, and is being housed in a bedsit within two blocks of the local Primary School.
So the local people are - IMO obviously and quite rightly - both furious and very worried about this, especially as no name, no photo, and no actual address has accompanied this frightening news. So lots of digging (figuratively speaking), and some mild (and some not so mild) cross questioning of local councillors, and harassment of the local police force, has taken place.
At last someone manages to get a name and address; now the person they have the name and address for, moved in last week, but strangely the address is in a much nicer block of flats - or apartments, as described by Estate Agencies - than they were expecting. But the irate locals brushed off that fact - if they thought about it at all - thinking "well no-one said that only poor people were paedophiles. As the incensed locals are so upset and worried about the convicted (and time served) paedophile moving into their neighbourhood, and probably because they have also been through so much anger and fear whilst gaining the much sort after facts, some of the most hot-headed of the local population marched straight to the address, and unfortunately for the paedophile he had just got back home.
Three of the locals knocked on his door, which he opened without hesitation, as he wasn't expecting a posse. They then barged in, and beat him up, breaking one of his wrists and his thumb and index finger. They also cracked four of his ribs, one of which then punctured which led to one of his lungs deflating. They also kicked him in the head now that he was on the floor, and two of them stamped on his crotch. By this time, someone - maybe one of his neighbours - had called the police, who actually arrived very quickly, and they were dragged off him, still screaming and trying to kick him.
One hour earlier in this Extreme Example:
One of the locals arrived in a hurry at the local pub - which they were using as their unofficial headquarters - they had the news the others had been waiting for, the name and address of the suspected paedophile! They didn't have any actual proof, but the timing was right, and their informant was definite that he was a paedophile, he had heard officials talking about him. One of the other people in the pub said, shouldn't we wait until we can confirm that this is the right person, but another one, who was louder, and had more clout said "oh for fuvks sake, come on, there's no smoke without fire, let's gather the others together and get around there before he gets tipped off!"
It was later that night that the arrested locals found out that they had beaten up the new local Paediatric Surgeon at the local hospital. He had been gossiped about earlier in the day because he came with such excellent credentials, and after the local Health Authority had been searching for a replacement surgeon for over nine months. His name and photo were going to be published in the local newspaper the next day, after interviewing him earlier in the day.
It took the paediatrician over a year before his hand and wrist injuries had healed enough for him to be able to operate safely and superbly again. But he had decided anyway, not long after his attack, that actually he didn't want to live and work there anymore, and he had an orthopod friend who had moved to Audtralia who told him that his working conditions and lifestyle were brilliant over there...
Three years later:
The local hospital were still getting local surgeons in when they could, otherwise the local children had to travel over 70 miles away whenever they needed an operation, which was then often cancelled once they got there, because of bed and staff shortages. It also turned out that it was a good decision on the part of the poor paediatrician, to actually move to the other side of the world, because even after all that time, when some of the locals were talking about him, one or two of them would say:
"you know I'm glad that paediatrician didn't stay here, as I couldn't have ever trusted him, seeings how there's no smoke without fire".
My example is obviously totally made up.
But in the past - at least once in the UK - a paediatrician was mistaken for a paedophile. I fervently hope that in reality nobody was stupid enough to think, never mind say about them "there's no smoke without fire".
I never want to write/type/hear that sentence ever again. But @MrsMikeDrop I would still be grateful if you can tell me what you consider are the positives about that particular phrase? Are my lights on, but no-one is at home? I will have to ask people who know me the answer to that question.