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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Husband been on a stag do in Marbella and a random girl has messaged me……

500 replies

Mumma2Ro · 06/05/2023 21:42

Some fake account has messaged me on instagram.
to tell me my husband paid for a prostitute when on a recent stag do in Marbella!
what the fuck do I do!?!!!!!???

OP posts:
cushioncovers · 06/05/2023 22:29

Ellie1015 · 06/05/2023 22:26

It sounds a bit much. If it was wife or girlfriend of someone else there i can understand an anonymous message. But what you describe is a random women who got told some second hand info then tracked you down. It is a bit strange, l would ask dh but I think/hope she may be lying.

Or maybe it's one of the wives/partners over complicating the story to try to remain completely anonymous

Mbop · 06/05/2023 22:30

I'd be inclined to think there's some truth in it but what are her motives?

LiliLil · 06/05/2023 22:31

I agree with the others, it’s one of the stags or his partner wanting you to know but trying to remain anonymous.

Very unlikely to be a hoax if he was in Marbella.

Doggymummar · 06/05/2023 22:32

Oh dear, what a horrible thing to do. I hope you're ok

Daisydu · 06/05/2023 22:32

Stressful. What’s your gut saying? And is he “the big guy” in his friendship group?

Frazzledmummy123 · 06/05/2023 22:33

How awful!

I think it is either...

As others have said, thenpartber of one of the lads who has been told telling you anonymously.

Or

A drunk foolish (and unfunny!) joke by one of the lads that they are too scared to retract and admit.

Hope you get it sorted 💐

ThelmaDinkley · 06/05/2023 22:33

Hope you’re ok OP.

Frazzledmummy123 · 06/05/2023 22:34

*the partner

Tailfeather · 06/05/2023 22:35

insatiableme · 06/05/2023 22:04

Bets on one of his friends partners. Friend has told their wife/partner and they feel you should know. I think you should also consider a STI test to be safe.

Was about to say the same.

PimpMyFridge · 06/05/2023 22:36

I hear you can pay extra to have sex without protection. So you won't know.
I'd take this seriously, more likely to be true than an awful joke/trick.

MaydinEssex · 06/05/2023 22:37

Is your husband home now? You need to show him that message and as others have suggested look carefully at his reaction

candlesandbroomsticks · 06/05/2023 22:37

Op some prostitutes do but some don't especially if it's not somewhere where it's legalised.

Op I doubt this is a hoax, I think one of the boys told their wife and or it's one of the boys with a conscience.

If there's a group chat of the boys for the stag either on whatup or Facebook. I'm sure it will be luminating.

I'm so sorry 💐

Mark19735 · 06/05/2023 22:37

Not all people who attend stag dos are each other's mates. Just because they have a common friend - the groom - doesn't mean they like each other.

Also, not all online profiles are the sex, or age, they present as. I wouldn't assume this is necessarily a woman.

Maybe one of the people he was in Marbella has a warped sense of humour and likes to start fires? Or maybe your DH was a bit of a dick to them and this person wants revenge? Or maybe one of them likes you and wants you to leave him so he can have a go? Maybe they want to annoy him for some completely unrelated reason? Or maybe one of your mates is in any of the above categories? All they'd need to know is that he went to Marbella ... which you may have told them. Or posted online. Or maybe he slept with a prostitute. Lots of possible explanations. Only one way to find out for sure.

Oneandonly22 · 06/05/2023 22:38

I don’t think it’s a hoax, it highly likely to be a partner of someone else on stag doo. Most likely made up how they know to try and save their partner from getting it in the neck from the group for going home and sharing what happened whilst they were there.

HowDoYouDoWhatYouDoToMeIWishIKnew · 06/05/2023 22:40

I had to do something similar some years back.

I knew my exs friend had cheated, pregnant wife at home, there was no way for me to tell the wife and not cause problems on my own life, so I sent an anonymous message.

Maybe not the best way to handle things, but it was 100% true.

I can't imagine someone would go to the effort of setting up a fake profile, finding and messaging you, and giving details like that just for shits and giggles.

Plus there wouldn't be a point in randomly shit stirring, because you're never going to see the fall out, so its been done out of concern for you. I would be inclined to believe its true.

Sorry op 💐

TheyAreMyBhunasPete · 06/05/2023 22:40

I agree it's one of the wives. Poor you OP ☹️

Comedycook · 06/05/2023 22:40

My first thought was this was one of the other blokes on the stag playing a prank. Why would a random woman he met in a bar care enough to message you and how would she know your name to find you on social media?

FiveShelties · 06/05/2023 22:40

How can you tell it is a fake account?

Haveallthesongsbeenwritten · 06/05/2023 22:40

Gosh thats awful if true. Very sorry.

IHateLegDay · 06/05/2023 22:42

Omg that's awful! I'm so sorry!

Changeforachange · 06/05/2023 22:43

I'd be going back & asking her to speak with me before confronting anyone, to kick out the possibility that it's one of the other stag's idea of a sick joke.

A message like this ends marriages, so I'd at least try.

I really hope the OP is okay. What a horrible situation.

PomTiddlyPom · 06/05/2023 22:45

Can you discreetly ask any of his other friends - or is it all part of the bro code?

Matronic6 · 06/05/2023 22:45

I think it may be another stag attendees partner. Trying to give you the heads up without blowing up the friend group.

PomTiddlyPom · 06/05/2023 22:45

Changeforachange · 06/05/2023 22:43

I'd be going back & asking her to speak with me before confronting anyone, to kick out the possibility that it's one of the other stag's idea of a sick joke.

A message like this ends marriages, so I'd at least try.

I really hope the OP is okay. What a horrible situation.

Also this.

twixwrapper · 06/05/2023 22:49

I'm sorry OP, that sounds shit. And as PP said, sounds like a mates partner giving you a heads up.