A guy I have been seeing for 3 months didn’t do anything for me on valentines

[lovewarandroses]

Hi guys I don’t know if I’m being overly sensitive or if i’m justifiable in feeling this way ... so I met a guy who I thought was amazing three months ago on a dating app ...the thing is I see him once every week but what I’m pissed off with is the fact that he only texted me happy Valentine’s... he didn’t arrange to meet up with me .... do I have a right to be annoyed or am I overreacting??? I really wanted to spend Valentine’s with him and I feel let down .....

How odd that you don’t say whether you did anything for him

3 months isn't very long really. If someone started sending me flowers, chocs and gifts after only three months I'd think they were love bombing and dump them.

Yes every right to be annoyed LTB people that don't celebrate it dont get it but for those they do it's unthoughtful and selfish, a text isn't good enough.

Did you arrange to meet up with him?

I've never 'celebrated' Valentine's Day. Lots of people don't.

Why did you really want to spend Valentine's Day with him? How would it have been any different to any other day?

I think that's what you need to understand.

I think spending time together on Valentine's Day is often seen as validating the relationship when, really, it's just a day.

And don't even get me started on cards and naff, cliched presents!

What did you do for him?

Did he not respond to your suggestion to meet up or thank you for the chocolates and flowers/wine you sent him?

Take it as an opportunity to talk.
You can explain things like Valentine's Day matter to you.

For some people, it doesn't matter. And that's fine for them. Some people are incredibly anti- things like Valentine's Day. Again, that's their thing.

But it matters to you. So talk about it.

Telepathy and mute hope are less effective than talking for building a relationship.

Completely overreacting. You've seen this person approximately 12 times and he sent a text. That's more than sufficient whne you've only known him such a short amount of time l, anything else would be pretty over the top. Just out if interest what did you do in return, did you send him a gift, a text, buy a card etc? Also if you wanted to meet up why couldn't you arrange that?

@Shehasadiamondinthesky

3 months isn't very long really. If someone started sending me flowers, chocs and gifts after only three months I'd think they were love bombing and dump them.

How strange.

What were you expecting? Did you tell him about your wishes to see him that day?

You always have a right to your own feelings. Whether or not someone else would feel the same way.

Did you ask him to spend Valentines with you, was it discussed at all? Because if you didn't say anything, he might be sitting there thinking "Well she can't be that into me if she didn't suggest spending V day together!"

Why didn't you make plans to see him? Can't be angry at him if you didn't bother to put the effort in either...

I think that after three months, someone who has any serious potential as a long-term partner would probably either make at least a token gesture or mention that they’re not into Valentine’s Day. Did you do anything for him?

@CavernousScream

I think that after three months, someone who has any serious potential as a long-term partner would probably either make at least a token gesture or mention that they’re not into Valentine’s Day. Did you do anything for him?

This

@judgingcat

Why didn't you make plans to see him? Can't be angry at him if you didn't bother to put the effort in either...

Exactly this.

If you wanted to see him on V Day then surely you’d have discussed plans? Why would you expect him to show up with gifts and a plan to spend the day together if this hadn’t been arranged beforehand?

He was probably spending it with his wife.

Did you arrange anything for him or do you just expect that kind of stuff to be one sided? You’ve been together 3 months I think you need to tone it down.

Sorry to say but he's just not that into you. Men who want to show you they are into you don't leave anything to question.
My now husband sent me a massive bouquet of flowers to my work the first valentine's Day. I was so so embarrassed looking back he was just really excited and trying his best to show he was into me.

Maybe he was taking your lead, did you do anything or mention doing anything to mark the occasion? Or were you hoping he'd surprise you? Perhaps he didn't want to come across as too full on as 3 months in is still early days.

Did you say you wanted to see him on valentines or try to arrange something? What did you do for him for it?

I think you missed that bit out. You talk about your expectations of him but don’t refer to what you yourself are doing?

I don't think it's a sign he's not into you, just a sign that he isn't into valentines day or is just not sure at this stage how into it you are.

If you see him every week surely you discussed making the "closest meeting day" a Valentine's celebration? If either of you are bothered. Not talking about it and expecting him to spontaneously organise something something and then getting annoyed when he doesn't is too much like you playing games.

If this was a healthy relationship, both of you would have asked the other beforehand how they feel about Valentine's Day so you could decide what to do about it. Instead, you both kept quiet - you because you were testing him and him because he was probably trying to avoid having to put any effort in. Sounds like a great start.