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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Underwear showing up - 100% not mine

197 replies

iwanteggfriedricefuckingpronto · 05/12/2020 19:43

I know there's been a lot of this on here recently, that's probably what's spurred me to post this. I'll try to keep this short but factual.

About six months ago I found a well worn black bra amongst some clothes that I was folding. Definitely not mine as both cup and back size was smaller than mine. We concluded that it belonged to his mum who stayed with us for a few days a couple months prior. Strange thing about this is that his mum claimed to have left some shorts that she would not stop hounding me for for months after, they weren't at my house.

Fast forward to a month ago. Once again, folding washing from the dryer and found some lacy black french knickers. Again, well worn, 3 sizes too small to be mine.

I asked him about them in a light manner, asked what they were all about to which he answered in humour saying "not this again!" Seemed almost repulsed at my audacity to ask him. He swore he had no idea about where they'd come from.

Now here's my issue. Firstly, I found them about a week or so after I'd taken my daughter on a 5 day holiday. Secondly, I've moved house numerous times since I left home so they're not my old ones or anything, plus even as a teen/early 20's I have never worn that size underwear.

I want to believe him because I can't imagine he'd do it but equally, where the hell have these knickers come from?!

OP posts:
MammaCookie · 05/12/2020 19:46

Hmmm. Anything else making you think he could be up to something?

The cynic in me thinks that he’s cheating and the woman he’s cheating with wants you to know about it.

mistermagpie · 05/12/2020 19:48

Did you ever ask his mum about the bra? Did she confirm it was hers? If so, I would presume these knickers maybe came from your daughters holiday companions, but again I would ask the daughter to check.

PicsInRed · 05/12/2020 20:08

Some OW leave clues as they want to break up the marriage.

Amotherlife · 05/12/2020 20:15

How old is your dd? Does she have sleepovers?

Santaisironingwrappingpaper · 05/12/2020 20:17

Firstly send his dm a pic of the bra. Ask her if she wants it posting /dropped off.
I would be checking texts /call log to see how available dh had been during your trip away..

thenightsky · 05/12/2020 20:24

How old is your DD? Could they belong to her or one of her friends?

DoWahDiddy · 05/12/2020 20:26

Are they his size ?

Cough...

User6655645 · 05/12/2020 20:34

How did they end up in the washing? Did someone else find them and put them in the laundry basket? What age are your kids? Someone has either taken off underwear or dropped underwear in your house. Only two possible scenarios... So, do the sizes match with each other ... I know it isn't an exact science... But it's not a size 16ish bra with size 8 pair of knickers..... You don't have many options here tbh.... it IS possible that the knickers are also your mils, they could have been found by the kids in some odd place.... Are they her size?

iwanteggfriedricefuckingpronto · 05/12/2020 20:48

The bra was a 34b and the knickers a size 10.

The bra has now disappeared, as have the knickers. My kids are 6 and 4, so in no way possible related to them!

OP posts:
iwanteggfriedricefuckingpronto · 05/12/2020 20:48

And I have no idea how they ended up in the washing. The kids have never been through the washing either.

OP posts:
Sexnotgender · 05/12/2020 20:49

Would they fit him?

iwanteggfriedricefuckingpronto · 05/12/2020 20:50

And the pants are not his mums size, and very skimpy, I can't see her wearing them. Given that we 'found' her bra, she hasn't ever asked for it back.

OP posts:
MammaCookie · 05/12/2020 20:50

So the sizing says it could be the same person. Would they fit your MIL?

They’ve disappeared? Where did you put them?

Either he is wearing them or someone else is taking their underwear off in your home.

Misandrylovescompany · 05/12/2020 20:52

Didn’t you offer her the bra back ?!

mildlymiffed · 05/12/2020 20:53

Disappeared?!

Newwayofthinking · 05/12/2020 20:53

What do you mean they have disappeared?

I would check his phone

AnaViaSalamanca · 05/12/2020 20:53

Do you have pets? DCat used to steal bras from neighbours in his younger days. Almost broke us up when he left a bra under the bed...

However the disappearance of these is quite fishy.

TicTacTwo · 05/12/2020 20:54

Would your h be a size 10 ?

Thermo · 05/12/2020 20:55

If they’ve disappeared, there’s a guilty party in your home for sure

EnjoyingTheSilence · 05/12/2020 20:56

I think you know what’s going on. Sorry your dh is doing this.

iwanteggfriedricefuckingpronto · 05/12/2020 20:57

@Sexnotgender yes I imagine they would. But I don't think that's what's going on.

OP posts:
Sadlonely67 · 05/12/2020 20:57

These either belong to him, or a person he is seeing, surely??

IShaggedAMarriedMan · 05/12/2020 20:58

Does it say St Michael on the label? I think they might be mine

PostmanSplat · 05/12/2020 20:59

If it looks like a duck...
I’m sorry. That would drive me utterly insane until I found out what was going on

Hailtomyteeth · 05/12/2020 20:59

It's a heck of a cheek to shag some woman and bring her underwear home for you to wash!

If there is another woman, how did her clothes get into your washing?

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