Underwear showing up - 100% not mine

[iwanteggfriedricefuckingpronto]

I know there's been a lot of this on here recently, that's probably what's spurred me to post this. I'll try to keep this short but factual.

About six months ago I found a well worn black bra amongst some clothes that I was folding. Definitely not mine as both cup and back size was smaller than mine. We concluded that it belonged to his mum who stayed with us for a few days a couple months prior. Strange thing about this is that his mum claimed to have left some shorts that she would not stop hounding me for for months after, they weren't at my house.

Fast forward to a month ago. Once again, folding washing from the dryer and found some lacy black french knickers. Again, well worn, 3 sizes too small to be mine.

I asked him about them in a light manner, asked what they were all about to which he answered in humour saying "not this again!" Seemed almost repulsed at my audacity to ask him. He swore he had no idea about where they'd come from.

Now here's my issue. Firstly, I found them about a week or so after I'd taken my daughter on a 5 day holiday. Secondly, I've moved house numerous times since I left home so they're not my old ones or anything, plus even as a teen/early 20's I have never worn that size underwear.

I want to believe him because I can't imagine he'd do it but equally, where the hell have these knickers come from?!

I might just ask his mum tomorrow morning, we are going to her house. May just bring it up blasé. Maybe ask "did xxxx bring your bra back by the way?" "Also, we found your size ten lacy french knickers, xxxxxxx where did you put them?

What’s the history OP?

It’s sounding more and more suspicious. Are you ok?

Do you know your neighbours well enough for a conversation?

Any way to work in a question they saw your DH's friend/friends car there when you were on holiday?

From what you're saying you suspect your DH had a friend over for a holiday and they've been careless enough not to take all their things home.

As they've disappeared I'm assuming your DH may have returned them to his friend.

[quote jelly79]@DoWahDiddy IP said she had just come back from holiday?? I was wondering could she of picked up a friends or something! [/quote]
Given the timeline I'd say they're DIY facemasks!

He has form??

@MartiniDry

Why would a lover wear "well worn" underwear from Asda? If I were (young and energetic enough) to be having a tryst with a man I'd be wearing something far more appealing.

Because men don't look at labels and, if the underwear looks good in the half light why pay more?

He cheated on his ex with hookers.

I want to ask her about it but don't want to cast doubt her end as their child is involved.

He is adamant that that is behind him.

I think the camera, I know it’s sly but if it puts your mind at rest!

Or buy a pair of boxers and leave them lying around and see how dh reacts when you brush it under the carpet

@iwanteggfriedricefuckingpronto

He cheated on his ex with hookers.

I want to ask her about it but don't want to cast doubt her end as their child is involved.

He is adamant that that is behind him.

Did you know that before you married him? Or did something come out that meant he confessed it to you?

Once a punter always a punter - if not literally then mentally. Able to view women as a commodity, able to find it sexually exciting to shag someone they know is only doing it for money, able to pay for sex with a woman with no way of knowing if they have become a sex worker due to abuse, coercion or trafficking. But willing to run the risk to get a shag.

Vile. I'm really sorry if you were already married to him when you found out he had previously used prostitutes, I would be devastated and would have had to end the relationship, but I understand everyone is different.

@iwanteggfriedricefuckingpronto

He cheated on his ex with hookers.

I want to ask her about it but don't want to cast doubt her end as their child is involved.

He is adamant that that is behind him.

I think you’ve got your answer

@youvegottenminuteslynn I did say that, asked what he would say if he found day at short 3 sizes too big for him.

We aren't married

Say*

The only thing about the theory with the possible prostitute though is would a prostitute really leave their underwear behind? Twice? Or do you think they left both at the one time but the knickers were just lost for longer?

They are professionals and I would be surprised if they lost their underwear twice.

He cheated on his ex with hookers. He lied to her.

Sounds like he is cheating on you with someone possibly a hooker or two. He is lying to you about the underwear and now it's disappeared!

He is playing you for a mug. Don't be a mug. As someone else says 'if it looks like a duck, it quacks like a duck then .....' Some people will lie and lie and lie and even when there is irrefutable proof they will still lie....

I'm sorry OP,
As soon as I opened your thread my gut feeling was "escort"

I have experience, it's easy to leave knickers/bras behind on the job because you'll basically have a bag full of underwear to switch between clients.

An OW will leave thinking "oh where is my bra?" And look for it.

I didn't even need to read your update to tell you this was what's going on.

Genuine question.
Why did you think your dp would be different with you?
Did he promise that was all behind him? And why did you believe him?

If it's an escort who is leaving behind underwear, how on earth does it end up in the wash? Is the partner putting them in there for her to notice/see?

Sorry but there's no doubt there's another woman. Hooker or not it's disgusting and you should leave.

Maybe he asks to keep the underwear (if it belongs to an escort)

Any man grubby/pathetic enough to use a prostitute doesn't 'leave it behind him' he just buries it until he feels like he can/wants to get away with it again. Sadly I think you already know the answer, random bras and knickers don't just materialise from thin air..

@Oreservoir

Genuine question. Why did you think your dp would be different with you? Did he promise that was all behind him? And why did you believe him?

Sorry but this. Men who use sex workers have an attitude towards women that I cannot fathom being compatible to a healthy relationship with a woman. They can never know if a sex worker is being coerced, a victim of abuse, trafficked, in pain from trauma... but they are willing to risk those things being true to pay to shag them. I cannot understand how a woman would want to be with a man who thinks that way, though as I said upthread I obviously appreciate everyone has different boundaries. It seems a pretty good indicator someone is unlikely to be respectful to you as a partner if they've already cheated on an ex with prostitutes. I'm assuming maybe OP didn't know about it until they had kids together?

[quote iwanteggfriedricefuckingpronto]@Sexnotgender yes I imagine they would. But I don't think that's what's going on.[/quote]
Don't be so sure. My ex was into women's underwear, although I knew from quite early on and it would go into the washing basket.

Its not an escort fgs, she isn't going to leave her underwear behind in your washing basket and your DP wouldn't be stupid enough to put her stuff into the washing basket.

He's cheated.

I'm sorry but he's definitely guilty

I doubt a bra he was wearing (if he's into that) would be "well-worn". It'd be something he does infrequently and wouldn't wear long enough, (nor have the goods to fill it) for it to show obvious signs of wear?

An OW who was trying to get him found out might leave it there, and if she was doing that, personally I'd "lose" a well-worn bra over a new one. But I hate bra shopping .

I'd have thought hookers would try to hang on to their underwear. But let's face it, everything I've said so far is pure speculation

Didn't his cheating with hookers previously put you right off him?