Underwear showing up - 100% not mine

[iwanteggfriedricefuckingpronto]

I know there's been a lot of this on here recently, that's probably what's spurred me to post this. I'll try to keep this short but factual.

About six months ago I found a well worn black bra amongst some clothes that I was folding. Definitely not mine as both cup and back size was smaller than mine. We concluded that it belonged to his mum who stayed with us for a few days a couple months prior. Strange thing about this is that his mum claimed to have left some shorts that she would not stop hounding me for for months after, they weren't at my house.

Fast forward to a month ago. Once again, folding washing from the dryer and found some lacy black french knickers. Again, well worn, 3 sizes too small to be mine.

I asked him about them in a light manner, asked what they were all about to which he answered in humour saying "not this again!" Seemed almost repulsed at my audacity to ask him. He swore he had no idea about where they'd come from.

Now here's my issue. Firstly, I found them about a week or so after I'd taken my daughter on a 5 day holiday. Secondly, I've moved house numerous times since I left home so they're not my old ones or anything, plus even as a teen/early 20's I have never worn that size underwear.

I want to believe him because I can't imagine he'd do it but equally, where the hell have these knickers come from?!

At this point, who cares about evidence. The guy is obviously a creep.

I was going to say all you need to do is say 'look, you have form for cheating and there are womens knickers turning up so show me your phone and your email asap'. Just his reaction to that would tell you if he was innocent or not.

But he has already been warned you are onto him so that's pointless now. Plus, the key thing...I'm sorry op but that's so creepy on it's own, he'd be out on his ass if it were me.

Get him out and change the locks asap.
He is cheating on you, the fine print doesn't matter. And he is creepy.

Can you trust your neighbours? Do any of them have a camera that could help?

If the items have now disappeared, they didn’t just walk off. He removed them. How did he respond when you questioned him about their disappearance?

Honestly, he sounds scary. It’s the compulsive lying and the constant changing of his story for me.

Have you looked at the phone yet OP?

I haven't looked at his phone yet. He does private browsing. (Porn no doubt, fine by me).

However, he used to take coke and by chance I found a drug test as I was sorting through the medicine cupboard. Asked him to take it, he willingly obliged. It came back positive but then I checked and the test expired last year.

He then asked me when I'm going to stop questioning him about shagging other people, going out with his (coke head) mate. He disappeared last year after a coke binge with said friend, so I've told him I have every right to ask if he's planning a coke marathon.

Also, messaged his mum asking if she'd got her bra and pants back. She said she hadn't and had no knowledge of the underwear.

He's now berating me because I said I'd buy his daughters Xmas presents and then after looking at my budget said he'd have to buy they himself. He's saying I've spend more on my own children and that I clearly COULD afford to buy his daughters presents. What a joke.

Just to be clear, I've never bought drugs tests! It came along when he moved in with me, told me it was because of his job, he gets drug tested when he has to go to work in an airport or any other high security area. He's not told me tonight he bought them when he was still living with his ex (they had split up) to try to prove he wasn't taking drugs anymore.

If he has money for coke he can afford his kids presents. Sounds like a deadbeat.

@AnaViaSalamanca

Do you have pets? DCat used to steal bras from neighbours in his younger days. Almost broke us up when he left a bra under the bed...

However the disappearance of these is quite fishy.

Oh my lord I was just going to ask this as I know a cat that does this!

Does it matter who they belong to? Get rid of the gobshite.

You don't need any more reasons.

Get a backbone and tell him to leave, and mean it this time.

He sounds like a waste of space, he is clearly screwing around and doesn’t respect you at all, why would you keep him around (especially since you have kids) + the coke?! You would be well rid

So he’s a prostitute using coke head... lovely. Even if he’s NOT cheating on you (he is) is this really the type of man you want to be with? Raise your standards.

Why are you still wasting your time on this person?

Save yourself a.lot of upset and kick him out.

I’d put money on the expired test still being accurate given it returned a positive result. In my opinion, the greater likelihood once a test has expired is for you to get a false negative.

this sounds like way too much hard work OP 🌺

Sorry OP but this sounds very fishy - I'm not sure he sounds like a good catch to be honest either, especially the drugs with young kids in the house

He's a drug taking, prostitute using liar who wants you to buy presents for his kids.

Such a tough decision for you...

Alternatively, could they fit your husband?

The more you write, the more I wonder why you have not already left.

Taking the underwear out of the equation, why on earth are you with this horrible man? He sounds like a prick.

Having worked in the secure area of an airport myself, I can attest that you absolutely do NOT have drug tests!!!!