Underwear showing up - 100% not mine

[iwanteggfriedricefuckingpronto]

I know there's been a lot of this on here recently, that's probably what's spurred me to post this. I'll try to keep this short but factual.

About six months ago I found a well worn black bra amongst some clothes that I was folding. Definitely not mine as both cup and back size was smaller than mine. We concluded that it belonged to his mum who stayed with us for a few days a couple months prior. Strange thing about this is that his mum claimed to have left some shorts that she would not stop hounding me for for months after, they weren't at my house.

Fast forward to a month ago. Once again, folding washing from the dryer and found some lacy black french knickers. Again, well worn, 3 sizes too small to be mine.

I asked him about them in a light manner, asked what they were all about to which he answered in humour saying "not this again!" Seemed almost repulsed at my audacity to ask him. He swore he had no idea about where they'd come from.

Now here's my issue. Firstly, I found them about a week or so after I'd taken my daughter on a 5 day holiday. Secondly, I've moved house numerous times since I left home so they're not my old ones or anything, plus even as a teen/early 20's I have never worn that size underwear.

I want to believe him because I can't imagine he'd do it but equally, where the hell have these knickers come from?!

[quote iwanteggfriedricefuckingpronto]@DoWahDiddy from where! [/quote]
Well, I was going to point you towards a sticky post on here that had all the info on that has since gone pfft.

Hi op . Can't imagine what your going through . My ex was a rat bag kind of like yours . I found a bra in my house . He lied so much I thought I was going mad . It only came out that he had actually been cheating on me because I got in his phone . That's the only way your going to find out what he's been up too and judging by him hiding keys from you to your place I would say he's a dodgy git! I'd kick him out . Only thing your going to get out of this is heart ache

Wait till he's out and have a locksmith on call to change locks. Pack his stuff and leave outside front door. Book std test. If he tries to gain entry call the police. He sounds absolutely pathetic with spare keys to sneak in. There is no good explanation for this. If he loved you he wouldnt bring escorts to your house. Just be thankful you're not married and it's your house.

Perhaps OP needs more urgent needs?

Crazy

Sorry OP but from what you say it is pretty obvious he has had a woman over, hooker or not, when you were on holiday with your 6 year old. If knickers have vanished he has either thrown them away or returned them. Your husband is clearly not trustworthy and you must think so too or would not have posted. I would be kicking him out, just before Xmas I know but I would not sleep with him again.

Wake up. HE IS CHEATING ON YOU.

Kick him out. Change the locks the same day.

Change you locks and don't let him back in.

@DoWahDiddy

Perhaps OP needs more urgent needs?

What do you mean?

@iwanteggfriedricefuckingpronto

I meant:

"Perhaps you have more urgent needs?"

As in, are you safe right now?

@iwanteggfriedricefuckingpronto

An STD check is on the cards. May have to go private as it's apparently ridiculously difficult to get an apt at present.

We've just had a massive Barney. He's been
Hiding secretly cut house keys from me for months (it's my house) to gain access to his things should I ask him to leave again. (I've attempted to leave many times)

The camera is a good idea.

I'm going to very casually ask his mum in the morning about the bra.

Hi OP so sorry to hear what you are going through, I just want you to know you can get STI screening kits ordered online if you don't want to wait.

They are about £40 but they check you for multiple STIs not just one. Lloyds pharmacy do them, all you have to do is fill in a short questionnaire and they will send you a kit it's very easy.

onlinedoctor.lloydspharmacy.com/uk/sti-tests/women-chlamydia-gonorrhoea-trichomonas

Very odd. Firstly - I’d make a point of asking him where they have disappeared off to.

Does he go to the gym? Could he have picked them up by mistake? Do you go to the gym or any activity where you have to use a changing room? I once found a male’s size S t-shirt in my washing one day. Partner is a L so no danger it was his! But we later found it to be my brothers - a very simple mistake. He forgot to mention he popped it in the basket after my son was sick on him. But again - with it being underwear its so strange.

@iwanteggfriedricefuckingpronto
(I've attempted to leave many times)

What does this mean, have you tried to leave your own home to get away from him or have you tried to make him leave? Has he stopped you or refused?

It's a pity you didn't hold on to them and could have given them to his mum and seen if they really were hers.

This is obvious bollocks. If he has form, you can be pretty sure he's up to tricks.

If you're at the stage of considering cameras and he's got secret keys, then your relationship is already FUBAR. It's all over.

You just need to accept it and stop running around trying to prove things, it's fucked already. You don't need anything extra.

Is there a chance that he's using these items to wank into while you were away.. not a great thought but could be a possibility. Just coz they're not posh or Lacy doesn't mean he doesn't like them

Hooker or Ow is a dealbreaker. Lying to you & getting keys cut is a dealbreaker.

Kick him out

@iwanteggfriedricefuckingpronto

Do you really need any more evidence? He is up to his old tricks. Why live with doubts?

Get rid

He doesn't live with you but has had a key cut and is potentially bringing another woman to your house whilst you are on holiday??

Is this a new relationship OP? Where does he normally live?

I'd save the cost of the cameras and put it towards a locksmith!

@Stepintochristmas

If they belonged to a hooker how did they end up in your washing? Neither the hooker or your husband would have put them in your dirty washing basket. I could understand if you found them down the side of the bed or somewhere where they could have just fallen by accident.

I would definitely ask your MIL if she got her underwear back ok. She’s obviously going to confirm that it wasn’t hers. Maybe ask in front of your partner so you can see his expression.

It doesn’t look good OP. Is he the father to both of your children? I really hope you are not financially dependant on him. Can I ask why you didn’t get married before having kids?

THIS! a hooker wouldn't leave her undies behind... twice

Oh dear. You know there is no innocent explanation for this.

You may be missing the point trying to figure out what the exact explanation is when the bottom line is that there is no way a man (who cheated on his x with hookers) can explain two pieces of underwear that wouldn't fit either you or him showing up, after you'd been away for a week no less.

Just read this thread back as though it were about somebody else. :-/

Wow, sorry, knickers and bra aside.

He got keys secretly cut, to a house that belongs to you, in preparation for the day he knows is coming really. When you smell the coffee and get him out.

Please can you just do yourself a favour now rather than later and get the help of the police and women's aid to get him out and then call a locksmith. I wouldn't even bother mentioning the keys again, just get a locksmith when he leaves.

He sounds absolutely toxiC

So, the weekly "I've found some knickers" thread raises its ugly head again. I can't believe how naive 99.9% of you are

Personal favourite has got to be blaming the poor pets. Wake up