Underwear showing up - 100% not mine

[iwanteggfriedricefuckingpronto]

I know there's been a lot of this on here recently, that's probably what's spurred me to post this. I'll try to keep this short but factual.

About six months ago I found a well worn black bra amongst some clothes that I was folding. Definitely not mine as both cup and back size was smaller than mine. We concluded that it belonged to his mum who stayed with us for a few days a couple months prior. Strange thing about this is that his mum claimed to have left some shorts that she would not stop hounding me for for months after, they weren't at my house.

Fast forward to a month ago. Once again, folding washing from the dryer and found some lacy black french knickers. Again, well worn, 3 sizes too small to be mine.

I asked him about them in a light manner, asked what they were all about to which he answered in humour saying "not this again!" Seemed almost repulsed at my audacity to ask him. He swore he had no idea about where they'd come from.

Now here's my issue. Firstly, I found them about a week or so after I'd taken my daughter on a 5 day holiday. Secondly, I've moved house numerous times since I left home so they're not my old ones or anything, plus even as a teen/early 20's I have never worn that size underwear.

I want to believe him because I can't imagine he'd do it but equally, where the hell have these knickers come from?!

Surmised:

i) he likes to wear these things;

ii) they are a memento from an escort;

iii) DIY facemasks gone wrong.

I'd like to say it's looking an awful look like Christmas...

In this case, I go with (i).

Can you look at bank statements from geh time you were away? Any payments /withdrawls?

The simplest and most obvious answer is usually the right one.

Your DH is hiding his extra-curricula activities in plain sight.

Sorry OP.

I'd definitely ask his mum and in front of him would be even better just to see the look on his face if he is lying to you! I agree though it's something dodgy.

I reckon he's wearing them for sure! Maybe he's buying them 2nd hand off eBay, hence the "well worn"... I've got a friend who was finding underwear in her house and one day went home early to find her husband hiding in the bathroom fully clad in ladies clothes, the wig and all kinds.... probably looked better than me tbh

An escort would have no reason to leave bras or knickers behind. That would be an inconvenience to her.

If this was definitely two separate times, it sounds like an OW who wants you to realise.

I once found out my boyfriend at the time was cheating, as strange make up items appeared on a couple of occasions. Both were nice brands but pretty much finished / dried up. I got suspicious and looked through his phone - a lot. Until he slipped up and didn't delete something. The waiting to find out if I was right was the worst pain of the whole thing.

A friend once found a wrapped up sanitary towel in her bathroom bin. Left as a marker by the OW.

Cherchez la femme ...

pinkdragons you can get bras for £2 at Primark.

If you're in a rush to your next job, mistakes happen, can have no idea who it was left with.

What you'd be in such a rush you don't even put your knickers on. Or bra on. And that coincidentally happened twice?
Doubt it.

Thinking about it a ex boss also found make up left her partners car. Then she found a text between them.about it after the boss confronted him. It must be a calling card for some mistresses

Has he always had a private browser on ? Can you check bank statements?

You can't rule out an escort, though she wouldn't leave her underwear behind unless he paid extra for that.

You could get a Ring doorbell, OP, so you can see who's coming to your house.

Do you actually like this bloke? Using escorts is so sleazy - how did you reconcile yourself to that when you first heard about them?

Do you go to the gym or swimming - is it possible you picked up another woman's underwear while changing and then threw it all in the wash? clutching at straws*

Otherwise. he's either cheating or he is a kleptomaniac with a knicker fetish.

Security cameras and go away for the weekend!

Someone wants you to know he's cheating and what do you mean by they've 'disappeared'?

I hope you're OK, OP. He sounds like a nasty cheat...

Even if you do nothing else for now, you need to organise an std test. I’m sorry.

Strange underwear does not just appear in your home. Someone leaves it there.
I suggest next time you leave home for a few days plant a hidden camera in the house. I did that with my first husband to prove domestic violence to court as it was his word against mine.
Doesn't have to be in the bedroom but somewhere that will show who has come into the house while you have gone.

Another person saying arrange a sexual health check.

An STD check is on the cards.
May have to go private as it's apparently ridiculously difficult to get an apt at present.

We've just had a massive Barney. He's been
Hiding secretly cut house keys from me for months (it's my house) to gain access to his things should I ask him to leave again. (I've attempted to leave many times)

The camera is a good idea.

I'm going to very casually ask his mum in the morning about the bra.

I know he loves me but what a nob.

We are a blended family. Even still, I've had enough

Hiding secretly cut house keys from me for months (it's my house) to gain access to his things should I ask him to leave again. (I've attempted to leave many times)

It's your house, he is breaking the law by gaining entry if you no longer permit him to be there. You sound broken by him, it's awful.

You have agency in this - it's your home! Break up with him, kick him out and tell him that if he attempts entry you will call the police.

As you say you're a blended family I presume the kids living with you are yours but not his, in which case having a happy, healthy, safe and secure home for them must be the absolute priority over this nobhead!

Hiding secretly cut house keys from me for months (it's my house) to gain access to his things should I ask him to leave again. (I've attempted to leave many times)

That's a whole different kettle of fish. GET HELP

I have two children, he has one. I'm currently questioning the keys. I mean, what else is he keeping from me!?

@DoWahDiddy from where!