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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Underwear showing up - 100% not mine

197 replies

iwanteggfriedricefuckingpronto · 05/12/2020 19:43

I know there's been a lot of this on here recently, that's probably what's spurred me to post this. I'll try to keep this short but factual.

About six months ago I found a well worn black bra amongst some clothes that I was folding. Definitely not mine as both cup and back size was smaller than mine. We concluded that it belonged to his mum who stayed with us for a few days a couple months prior. Strange thing about this is that his mum claimed to have left some shorts that she would not stop hounding me for for months after, they weren't at my house.

Fast forward to a month ago. Once again, folding washing from the dryer and found some lacy black french knickers. Again, well worn, 3 sizes too small to be mine.

I asked him about them in a light manner, asked what they were all about to which he answered in humour saying "not this again!" Seemed almost repulsed at my audacity to ask him. He swore he had no idea about where they'd come from.

Now here's my issue. Firstly, I found them about a week or so after I'd taken my daughter on a 5 day holiday. Secondly, I've moved house numerous times since I left home so they're not my old ones or anything, plus even as a teen/early 20's I have never worn that size underwear.

I want to believe him because I can't imagine he'd do it but equally, where the hell have these knickers come from?!

OP posts:
strangertimes · 06/12/2020 10:16

They’re not his mothers!! Come on.

iwanteggfriedricefuckingpronto · 06/12/2020 10:19

This morning he claims he was lying about the keys Hmm

OP posts:
Alonelonelyloner · 06/12/2020 10:23

Good grief. Is he a compulsive liar or does he have cause to lie. Either way, he is awful!

Sadlonely67 · 06/12/2020 11:08

OP, you know what you need to do. Blush

WildfirePonie · 06/12/2020 12:01

Kick him out OP, call the police if you have to. And get a locksmith out asap. You deserve better.

Santaisironingwrappingpaper · 06/12/2020 12:07

Change the locks tomorrow op... Barrel for 30 quid and DIY.

RaspberryCoulis · 06/12/2020 12:10

All these women sneaking into other peoples houses undetected, stripping off and then forgetting to go home with their pants.

As if.

burnoutbabe · 06/12/2020 12:19

we found a pair of cream Fruit of the Loom pants once, that hasn't been a brand for years.

wasn't in the wash, just clearing out drawers.

no idea how they appeared. But we do use communal washers/dryers on cruises etc so could have just scooped up that way.

(but i hadn;t just been away for a week and my OH doesn't have a history that i know of with prostitutes)

Iminaglasscaseofemotion · 06/12/2020 12:26

we found a pair of cream Fruit of the Loom pants once, that hasn't been a brand for years.

You can still buy fruit of the loom products.

Dontletitbeyou · 06/12/2020 12:49

He’s been mugging you off . Most likely an ow in the background , one who wants you to find out about her and your DH. Hookers are well versed in the art of dressing themselves after a job , they ain’t leaving without their bra or knickers , no way .
He needs to be gone , he’s shown you he’s a liar and most likely a cheat . Life’s short , don’t waste it on someone who is not worth it

RegretnaGreen · 06/12/2020 13:01

99.9 % chance he is cheating.

0.01% chance he has nicked them off a line for a wank.

Neither option is great tbh.

80sColourfulChristmas · 06/12/2020 13:23

@Gncq

I'm sorry OP, As soon as I opened your thread my gut feeling was "escort"

I have experience, it's easy to leave knickers/bras behind on the job because you'll basically have a bag full of underwear to switch between clients.

An OW will leave thinking "oh where is my bra?" And look for it.

I didn't even need to read your update to tell you this was what's going on.

Can I ask a question our of pure curiosity? Why do you switch underwear between clients.
HappygoLucie · 06/12/2020 13:31

There's far too much going on that would suggest he's hiding something. Private browsing, copied keys, the bra and pants disappearing? Could the key be for OW to let herself in? If he's got priors then I think we all know what's happening. Whether it's a sex worker or he's seeing someone else he needs to go. Even having these doubts is enough of a reason to make a plan

dogmandu · 06/12/2020 13:31

maybe he's into taking women's underwear off washing lines?

justilou1 · 06/12/2020 13:44

If it walks like a duck... Quacks like a duck...
Cheating

HotelliFinlandia · 06/12/2020 14:10

I agree about mentioning to his mother that you hope she got her things back and you'd had no idea they were at yours. BUT only if he's not in the room. That way, if she's inclined to cover for him, she can't see his face and you'll have a few more seconds to judge her reaction.

wigglyworm002 · 06/12/2020 14:25

I didn't know for 24 years that my ex husband was a secret transvestite. He apparently wore all my clothes and underwear.
I honestly has NO idea...

jelly79 · 06/12/2020 14:36

@80sColourfulChristmas I truly hope there is clean underwear and washing between clients

Whattodotho · 06/12/2020 15:27

I remember seeing a thread of a previous sex worker who said she left underwear as felt sorry for the wives and wanted them to know

WiseOwlWan · 06/12/2020 15:35

@dogmandu

maybe he's into taking women's underwear off washing lines?
Oh yeh, this is a thing, somebody i knew was a friendly acquaintance (he wouldnt say "friend"!!) of a man arrested for this. Apparently he was very well liked locally.
WiseOwlWan · 06/12/2020 15:36

Before it came to light i mean. Not afterwards.

Newwayofthinking · 06/12/2020 17:35

Can you check his phone?

Does he live with you?

MitziK · 06/12/2020 17:47

@iwanteggfriedricefuckingpronto

This morning he claims he was lying about the keys Hmm
Change the locks and tell him to fuck off.
Namechangednorth · 07/12/2020 07:57

Would he have the opportunity to bring An OW to your house? It isn't as through your found them in the washing with his or in an overnight bag....they are down the sofa.

OW getting fed up and wanting to force the issue isn't unusual. I know someone who found similar in husbands luggage tucked away and was complete with cum stains. So OW got what she wanted as she kicked him out!

wobblywinelover · 07/12/2020 13:41

@RegretnaGreen

99.9 % chance he is cheating.

0.01% chance he has nicked them off a line for a wank.

Neither option is great tbh.

This ^^

Did make me laugh though (Sorry OP)

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