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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Worried about my sons dating life due to his size

273 replies

ComputerDad · 29/09/2020 15:26

Hello Everyone,

This may be an odd question, however I worry a lot about my son ( Dont all parents!? ) and I just want him to be happy.

My son is a small young man, hes just under 5'7" tall and weighs about 61 Kg. He is 17 years old and not likely to grow any taller or according to the doc.

This normally wouldn't concern me, however I have seen posts on Mumset about short men, and my Wife mentions to me often that she loves how tall I am ( I am 6'2" ), and never liked men unless they were over a head taller than she was.

I worry that he will struggle in life due to his height, and have trouble finding women that like him.

He is a handsome young man, with thick dark hair and thick dark facial hair, with Italian features from his mothers side of the family. Even still, I am worried, by the way I have heard woman talk about smaller men.

I have no experience with this, as I have always been large, and never had to think about my size when trying to date woman.

Am I being irrational? Is this something that I should even be concerned about? Is there anything I can tell him or advise him when it comes to woman and his size?

Id appreciate any input you can provide.

OP posts:
StephenBelafonte · 29/09/2020 15:28

It's brilliant that he's 5 foot 7 because that means he won't get lumbered with a shallow women who is with him because of his appearance!

timeforawine · 29/09/2020 15:29

If he's a good guy OP he'll be fine :-)
My husband is only 5'5 (i'm 5'3) a friend is around 5'7 and her husband is 5'3. Height doesn't matter to most women

NoRoomInBed · 29/09/2020 15:30

My OH is short than me 😊 hes only 5ft 4. His height has never bothered me. I mean out kids will not he giants but who cares.

fabulousathome · 29/09/2020 15:30

Teach him to be a nice person. Much more important.

NoRoomInBed · 29/09/2020 15:31

Sorry spelling mistakes

Peace43 · 29/09/2020 15:32

My ex husband of 14 years was 5,8. I am 5,7. I loved him and fancied him for him. My new boyfriend is 6,4 and I love him and fancy him for him. Your son will be fine if he is a decent guy!

TownHallDesigner · 29/09/2020 15:33

My sister is 5’ 7” and her husband is 5’ 6”. He’s slimmer than her, and wears a smaller shoe size.

They’re happy.

Some women like tall men, some prefer shorter, some like dark hair, some prefer fairer.
He’ll be fine.

Ohalrightthen · 29/09/2020 15:33

5'7" isn't that small. My husband is 5'3", i adore every inch of him.

jay55 · 29/09/2020 15:33

If he has charm and humour it will go an awfully long way.
As long as he doesn't have a complex about it then it won't be an issue.

imissthesouth · 29/09/2020 15:34

My high school ex was shorter than me (at the time) He's quite tall now so never say never. I think being short could give him advantages, if a women only wants him for his appearance then she's shallow, a nice personality and charm is much more important. I'm sure he'll be fine☺️

1990shopefulftm · 29/09/2020 15:36

His height really shouldn't be a big issue, my DH is the same height as your son, i love that he's not much taller than me.

ScrapThatThen · 29/09/2020 15:37

It's generally upbringing, confidence and self esteem that shape our relationships, rather than our features. So why not live what you believe - that height, size and shape are one aspect of a person and don't define or mark them out - and grow your son's confidence by seeing his future as rosy because he's a great person. I'm a small woman who's dated small men sometimes. It's never really factored as a negative for me. It's kind of an old fashioned thing about a man not wanting his female partner to be taller than him. Whoever he dates I am sure it will be fine.

Sakurami · 29/09/2020 15:39

The last guy I was seeing is the same height as me at 5ft5 and the shortest man I've been with. Didn't make any difference to me.

IncludeWomenInTheSequel · 29/09/2020 15:41

Don't be daft!

Beamur · 29/09/2020 15:42

My DSS is the same height and slenderly built. He's also very engaging and charming and lovely looking in a more scruffy/elfish way. He's never had any trouble with friendships or attracting attention.
I really wouldn't worry about it. Not everyone is looking for a beefy alpha male, some women/men actively prefer other types (myself included).

TheVeryHungryTortoise · 29/09/2020 15:42

I'm 5"6 and my partner is 5"8. It's never really crossed my mind that I should be less attracted to him because he's a little shorter than other men. To be honest I don't really pay much attention to anyone's height. I only pay attention to it if someone is very very tall or very very short, but only then in the sense of polite interests at their height compared to mine. If he is a good guy, he will not struggle to find a lovely partner!

battlestargalactica · 29/09/2020 15:43

al pacino is 5'7"

nuff said

FurrySlipperBoots · 29/09/2020 15:43

I don't think many women would have turned down Tom Cruise (before the Scientology stuff!)

Hangingover · 29/09/2020 15:44

I've dated multiple men a lot shorter than me (I'm 5'10), they seem to be my type Grin

Cattermole · 29/09/2020 15:48

ComputerDad I'm six foot and female and my DH is 5'6", we've been together nearly 15 years now.
It's not stood in the way of us having a little boy...

Batfinklestein · 29/09/2020 15:48

I know several men who are under 5 foot 7 who are married to lovely women. 5 foot 7 isn't terribly short. He might even grow a little bit more.

What's more important is that he is a nice guy, treats women with respect and doesn't have a complex about his height, which he will if you ever mention it to him. So please don't.
The right woman, (or man) will love your son for himself and not be bothered by superficial things like the fact he is a little shorter than average.

Superficially I'd quite like to be married to a man who looks like Chris Hemsworth, but I love my DH to bits and he is not exactly a lookalike!

Just make sure your son doesn't lie about his height on dating sites and I'm sure he'll be fine Grin.

crosshatching · 29/09/2020 15:48

Ask any woman who's aware of Cillian Murphy what they think of him and I'll pretty much guarantee they won't talk about his height!

WellTidy · 29/09/2020 15:51

My dad is 5’1 and my mum is 5’6. It’s never bothered them.

I do confess that I used to find taller men (so 5’10 and over) more attractive when I was a teenager, but I grew out of that when I matured a bit.

Serengetiqueen · 29/09/2020 15:51

Gosh please please please stop this daft pre-occupation right now OP before you risk serious harm to a fragile young man’s ego! You seem to think that your wife’s view on male height represent all women - she does not! My DH is 5’7” so not a tall guy ...it has never impacted his career (board level) and I personally don’t fancy tall guys at all. Please applaud your lovely son for all his strengths both personality and physical attributes. He is at such a delicate age and any negative projections from you could have a serious impact on his mental health.

DemolitionBarbie · 29/09/2020 15:51

I'd say 5'7 is the bottom end of normal height. I'm 5'3ish and only notice if men are the same height or shorter than me. I wouldn't register someone who was 5'7 as short.
I do notice if men are small build, eg narrow shoulders and small hands.

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