Worried about my sons dating life due to his size

[ComputerDad]

Hello Everyone,

This may be an odd question, however I worry a lot about my son ( Dont all parents!? ) and I just want him to be happy.

My son is a small young man, hes just under 5'7" tall and weighs about 61 Kg. He is 17 years old and not likely to grow any taller or according to the doc.

This normally wouldn't concern me, however I have seen posts on Mumset about short men, and my Wife mentions to me often that she loves how tall I am ( I am 6'2" ), and never liked men unless they were over a head taller than she was.

I worry that he will struggle in life due to his height, and have trouble finding women that like him.

He is a handsome young man, with thick dark hair and thick dark facial hair, with Italian features from his mothers side of the family. Even still, I am worried, by the way I have heard woman talk about smaller men.

I have no experience with this, as I have always been large, and never had to think about my size when trying to date woman.

Am I being irrational? Is this something that I should even be concerned about? Is there anything I can tell him or advise him when it comes to woman and his size?

Id appreciate any input you can provide.

@ComputerDad
My own son was very small and young looking at 15 ..He looked about 13 {in his own words}...But he didn't stop growing til he was 21.
He is 6 foot tall now, so your Son may well carry on maturing until he is 21.
5'7'' is hardly ''small''' ..I just looked at a height marker, and his growth was slow and steady... no sudden beansprout growth spurt.

Son went to a school reunion a couple of years ago and said ''Everyone looked tiny! they used to tower above me''

Shorter men can be extremely attractive. Please don't give your son a complex about his height..He may have years of growing to do yet.
Boys mature much more slowly than girls.

I am a bit surprised the doctor said he won’t grow - males grow until they are 21? My b’n’law grew a foot between 17 and 21. He’s now 6ft 6!
I don’t think 5ft 7 is too short - there are lots of women with shorter than them men. But also lots of women shorter than 5ft 7!

It is our culture, we women are almost brainwashed to think tall is superior. Go to any culture when the average man is not 6 foot including countries in europe and that won't apply for a start! Your son will end up being with someone who has matured sufficiently to care about other things and so that will be a good thing! If he is kind, generous, funny, nice , respectful these would all be the right start and beyond that it should be down to compatibility in other ways. For me top of the list would be very very genuinely and consistently kind

He might grow a bit more. He might not.

He will encounter girls and women who’s preference is for a partner taller than your DS, which is fine. Having a physical preference isn’t wrong or shallow. Equally, he will meet women for whom his height is a non-issue. Don’t make an issue of it. Raise a confident, kind man. Don’t push your neuroses re his height onto him.

Thank you all for your reassuring messages!

I am likely overthinking this whole size thing, I was just worried based on some forum threads I've read online, on Mumset and elsewhere, as well as what my wife has told me.

Hes never mentioned anything about his height, and I would never bring it up with him.

I think I just needed some reassurance.

Also he is not quite 5'7" I believe he is 169cm so that is 5'6.5" i think, although no one could tell the difference..

@ComputerDad

Unless your Son has a growth problem {at 5'7'' it is very unlikely} he will probably end up taller than his parents.

Most boys do.

Your wife is not ''All women''...

FWIW, my DH is about the same height as me (I’m flats, me not him ).

*in flats. Fking autocorrect

Yes I’m attracted to a taller man,.but I married for love . He’s 5,5 I’m 5.8 - it’s never bothered me as I fell in love with him and who he is!

And I never have to wear heels :)

I have to echo what everyone else says, OP, his height doesn't matter one little bit. He's really not that short but even if he was, only total arseholes would dismiss someone on that basis alone. My husband is an inch shorter than me, never bothered me once and I fell head over heels for him on our first date!

Boys tend to grow for a longer period of time than girls who reach their full height earlier so your DS may well end up taller.

My nephew great a phenomenal amount in his university years.

I can really hear your genuine concern. There is absolutely NOTHING on earth your son can do about his height so worrying will do no good at all. What you CAN focus on is instilling a focus on looking really fit and healthy! 5'7 of energetic healthiness is way way way more attractive than 6'2 of lazy splodginess

5ft6.5 or taller, this is one thing you do not have to worry about. I used to be someone who was convinced I could only get physical and settle down with an over 6ft man. Then I fell for someone an inch or so taller than me, and realised that how I'd felt before wasn't a physical preference after all, it was a notion which I didn't challenge. Honestly, character and genuine feelings are going to be more important to the right person and these are things that make a happy life. Not height.

5'7" is a perfectly normal height.

He will continue to grow for a while longer - in boys their legs stop growing but their back lengthens.

He will also fill out. Especially if he does some weights in the gym.

I am 5'6" and the majority of men I have been out with are about the same height as me.

My 19 yo son is about 5'7" and inundated with interest from girls. He is mixed race and drop dead gorgeous. His only annoyance is that when they all get scouted by various brands at festivals he gets passed over when they realise he is not tall-tall.

I don't know what doctor told you he's stopped growing! There's no way of knowing that at 17.

Anyway I'm sure it'll be fine but I wish people would lay off name-calling. Women with preferences aren't morons. Nor are they necessarily shallow. Preferences are allowed.

I wouldn't date a smoker, or someone with no teeth, or an alcoholic. I don't think that makes me a moron.

Unless your Son has a growth problem {at 5'7'' it is very unlikely} he will probably end up taller than his parents Not taller than the OP - don't they usually grow taller than their mothers?

But then if that was actually true everyone would be getting taller and taller at a ridiculous rate.

My husband is about 5'7. We've been together 20 years and I still fancy him like crazy. He was really fit and sporty when he was younger, he's a wonderful man, and the fact he's not particularly tall has never been any kind of issue. As others have said, if he's a good lad, he'll be loved.

In response to a previous poster, it's not shallow if some women prefer men of certain heights. It's simply what you find attractive. I'm sure there are physical attributes you liked in partners that others would find shallow! And I think you'll find that men themselves tend to be much more shallow than women are...

To the OP, I wouldnt worry about it, and to be honest, worrying about it won't help anything. Yes there are a lot of women who prefer taller men but there are equally a lot of women who are the same height or shorter than him for whom it wont matter one jot to.

I second another poster, if there's one thing to advise him, it'll be NEVER lie about your height!! It's utterly disrespectful because women have a right to choose if they want to date men of certain heights (just as he will have certain attributes he finds attractive in women and filters on) and you WON'T change their mind. You'll only piss her off for wasting her time. It always tells badly on the men too because even if I found them attractive, I'd be wondering what else they're lying about and certainly won't see them again. It's happened to me a couple of times and nothing more disappointing than seeing a short guy turning up who's clearly lied.

I'm only 5ft tall. There are a lot of women out there my height. He will tower over someone!

Anyway, as others have said, appearance doesn't matter unless you want him to be dating shallow arseholes who aren't interested in who he really is rather than his vital statistics

You’re first mistake is presuming woman care about appearances. We don’t, most women will take a decent but aver looking guy over a crappy but handsome guy any day.

If you raised him right, he’ll be ok.

So you are worried he will meet people like yourself who will judge him on his size. Sort yourself out first OP.

I'm the same height as my oh (5"8), so I'm taller in heels. If you'd asked me before I met him if it would bother me I'd have said I would prefer someone taller but it had literally never been an issue x

@YukoandHiro

I'm only 5ft tall. There are a lot of women out there my height. He will tower over someone!

Anyway, as others have said, appearance doesn't matter unless you want him to be dating shallow arseholes who aren't interested in who he really is rather than his vital statistics

And again, FFS!

So is nobody ever allowed to have a preference? Women just have to find all men who aren't dickheads attractive?

I'm 5'10, DH of 25yrs is 5'8, it's never bothered me. The only shorter men that I wouldn't touch are the ones who whinge if you wear heels.
Sex and making out standing up is better with a shorter or same height guy, none of that getting poked in the stomach by his tackle 😆Silver linings and all that.

No time to read all 123 response to make sure no one's posted this already, so sorry if it's a repeat:

Tom Cruise 5'7"
Robin Williams 5'7"
Sylvester Stallone 5'8"
Winston Churchill 5'6"

Stop thinking of your son as short: he'll pick up your worries and that will undermine his confidence.