Worried about my sons dating life due to his size

[ComputerDad]

Hello Everyone,

This may be an odd question, however I worry a lot about my son ( Dont all parents!? ) and I just want him to be happy.

My son is a small young man, hes just under 5'7" tall and weighs about 61 Kg. He is 17 years old and not likely to grow any taller or according to the doc.

This normally wouldn't concern me, however I have seen posts on Mumset about short men, and my Wife mentions to me often that she loves how tall I am ( I am 6'2" ), and never liked men unless they were over a head taller than she was.

I worry that he will struggle in life due to his height, and have trouble finding women that like him.

He is a handsome young man, with thick dark hair and thick dark facial hair, with Italian features from his mothers side of the family. Even still, I am worried, by the way I have heard woman talk about smaller men.

I have no experience with this, as I have always been large, and never had to think about my size when trying to date woman.

Am I being irrational? Is this something that I should even be concerned about? Is there anything I can tell him or advise him when it comes to woman and his size?

Id appreciate any input you can provide.

I wouldn’t call 5ft 7 short. I’m 5ft 3 and have only dated one person smaller than me. I don’t mind what height men are, I’m sure only shallow women really care.

Don’t give him a complex - he’ll become a small man.

My DH is 5ft 7 so fairly short but never seems small to me

Me and DH are the same height, I get tired of looking up to tall men. 5'7 is taller than most women

My 19 year old ds is 5 ft 7. It really isn’t that short. He’s a happy, well rounded young man.

He sounds exactly the same as my 17 year old son sizzle wise and he has never had any problems with girls

Wouldn’t have bothered me. I had loads of short men that I fancied the pants off in my youth. Personality is so much more important.

I'm 5'7 and husband is shorter than me. Only does his head in when I wear heels 😂

@timeforawine

If he's a good guy OP he'll be fine :-) My husband is only 5'5 (i'm 5'3) a friend is around 5'7 and her husband is 5'3. Height doesn't matter to most women

Same here.

I'm 5'3", my husband is 5'5". When I have heels on I am taller than he is.

I have friends with husbands who are shorter than they are - it doesn't matter.

Not even sure he’s short enough to qualify as a short king

I'm 5ft 1, so he's tall to me! My ex was 5ft 8 and my boys are around the same and I honestly don't think it will be a problem.

I'm 5"7 and have never been concerned about height, in the past I had boyfriends around the same height or shorter, my ex h was only a little taller than me, he'll be ok, I don't actually know any women in real life who have an issue with a mans height!

I understand why you have this fear, and you are right, a lot of women express a preference for tall men, however luckily for us all, attraction in real life doesn't work by tick-box.

Look around you at the couples you see, a majority of men and a majority of women probably have very similar preferences, and yet you see loved-up couples of all different ages, shapes, sizes and colouring.

My "type" is tall, slim, dark with dark brown eyes and aquiline features with a slightly big nose. None of the men I have been in love with have corresponded precisely to that type. I still fancied the pants off them.

I think a lot of people aren’t being honest here - of course many women are superficially put off by short men until they get to know them. One of my best male friends is about 5’2” and I do think it has somewhat limited his dating life. But 5’7” is a world of difference - it’s not unusually short and many women are shorter than that. He’ll be absolutely fine.

You're not being irrational in the sense that it has been statistically shown that tall men have better life outcomes, on average, than short. They are more likely to make more money, get promoted, be found attractive by women etc. etc.

But these sorts of things are all averages and overlapping bell curves. It's not like being 5'7 (which isn't really that short) damns you to a life of penury and loneliness. As many have said above, plenty of short men are found attractive, either generally or by the one special person that matters. Things like keeping in shape, personal grooming etc, that are within the individual's own control, are probably more important than raw height.

Where you ARE being irrational is in worrying about something you can so obviously doing nothing about. What are you thinking you might do about it - put him on a rack and stretch him? It's just one of those things, like not being from a rich family or not having the smarts to get straight As at school. Concern yourself with the things you can do something about, and get on with it.

5"7 is not bad! He may well grow a couple more inches, a lot of people do.

My XH was over 6 foot but my current partner is my height at 5 foot 7 or thereabouts, he might have half an inch on me ;) Honestly height was last thing I noticed about him. His personality, sense of humour, his charisma... Don't fret, he'll be fine.

It seems to be a "thing" on the internet but tbh I've not heard any of my friends referring to their preference for height in men particularly.

5’7” is a perfectly-decent height! No need for you/ds to worry.

Dh’s friend, otoh, is 5’2”. Now that height has blighted his life. But, as I said, 5’7” is fine. If, however, there is still a concern I suggest he goes a-dating in Italy. He will be a giant there!

He only needs to meet one good match. There are many women who don’t find height that important. I suspect my sons will be smaller than average too as I’m only 5,2 but they have many other things going for them.

Your son may or may not have his own neuroses about his height, but don't bring yours to the table! As his parent I presume you have spent all his life encouraging him, supporting him, and recognising his wonderful qualities: just keep doing that. I'm not saying that he definitely won't struggle because of his height - although I hope he doesn't - but it isn't a given. He may not feel it's an issue, so don't make a thing of it.

I don't really understand this thing about men's height anyway, but then I'm 5'3" so nearly all are taller than me - I've never really noticed when a date is short. I've had relationships with absolutely lovely men of 5'6" and 5'7" and would never write off a short man. Really, why would he want to be with anybody who did?

I'm 5'9 (and was considered a bit of a looker back in the day) and had relationships with two men who were around 5'7. Two of the sexiest men I've ever known actually but that's for a different thread.

Not all women are walking cliches you know. He'll do just fine.

I'm only 5.4" so he'd be taller than me already. Everyone's different but personally I've always been much more of a sucker for personality than more shallow traits - my logic is no-one's still drop dead gorgeous in their 80's so I'd rather be with someone whose company I truly enjoy.
Sounds like your boy is good looking anyway so no issue if he's lovely too.

I’m 5’ 10 and my husband is 5’ 7 it’s never bothered me.

One of our ds is 6’ 3 and the other is average height. It’s not an issue in this house.

Also someone above mentioned bad life outcomes for short men, this isn’t necessarily true at all and many short men are extremely healthy and live long lives , you only need to look at the elderly to see how short they generally are.

I'm a 5'4" woman and I'd have had no problem dating a 5'7" man (in fact, I had a BF who was 5'8" and I can honestly say his height was no issue whatsoever). Plus, a lot of boys continue to grow. DH grew an extra inch between 20 and 21 and that's not uncommon. He may well grow another inch or more before he's 21. Please don't worry OP. He sounds gorgeous!

@Jpowe

I'm 5'7 and husband is shorter than me. Only does his head in when I wear heels 😂

Mine used to love it when I wore heels and was all legs. Kinky bastard!