Worried about my sons dating life due to his size

[ComputerDad]

Hello Everyone,

This may be an odd question, however I worry a lot about my son ( Dont all parents!? ) and I just want him to be happy.

My son is a small young man, hes just under 5'7" tall and weighs about 61 Kg. He is 17 years old and not likely to grow any taller or according to the doc.

This normally wouldn't concern me, however I have seen posts on Mumset about short men, and my Wife mentions to me often that she loves how tall I am ( I am 6'2" ), and never liked men unless they were over a head taller than she was.

I worry that he will struggle in life due to his height, and have trouble finding women that like him.

He is a handsome young man, with thick dark hair and thick dark facial hair, with Italian features from his mothers side of the family. Even still, I am worried, by the way I have heard woman talk about smaller men.

I have no experience with this, as I have always been large, and never had to think about my size when trying to date woman.

Am I being irrational? Is this something that I should even be concerned about? Is there anything I can tell him or advise him when it comes to woman and his size?

Id appreciate any input you can provide.

Nah, he’ll be fine.
As long as he doesn’t have that horrible short man syndrome.
Women aren’t like men.
I’d understand you worry, if you had a overweight or ugly daughter.
Then there would be problems in dating life...

He may still grow a bit. When my DS was 16 he was 5,10 and the doctor said he was pretty much done growing. At 20 he's 6,1.

5,7 is not remarkably short, it's more low end of normal. And as others have said it's the personality that counts more. It may be a bit of a hindrance if he does on line dating down the road.

Some will care a lot, some wont. Its probably easier when you meet in rl rather than old where people will filter just to reduce the number of profiles they see.

Meh, five seven isn’t that short, he is taller than the average woman,

I think you’ve misunderstood, many women do prefer to be with someone taller than them. But he is taller than many women, and many tall women don’t care, there is no issue here.

I’m five eight, and wouldn’t be with a man shorter than me, but five seven is pretty much the same height, there is nothing in it, so this wouldn’t bother me.

It isn't all about how many inches he has... but what he does with them :)

The fact that so many small/less-than-handsome men are successful with women suggests that (after the first impression) it really is personality that makes a man exciting /sexy/loveable/attractive.

Anyway many women are shorter than 5ft 7 - so will think him tall.

I'm 5'6" . No one ever called me short.

Agree with all the above and can I add, a good head of thick hair is gold. Personally, that would catch my attention more than his height!

I've only recently come across this attitude in women and I'm in my late forties. Two of my friends have been dating recently (after recently divorcing following 15/20 yr marriages) and one has been very adamant about wanting a tall man - I find it a bit odd...especially as she is only 5'1''! The other one isn't as fussed but it was clearly a consideration (again, she is short).

I'm 5'6'' and my husband is 5'7'' - I honestly never thought anything of it until my friend started on about tall men...the only boyfriend I've had whose height particularly noted was the one who was 6'5'', but that wasn't why I liked him though!

I wouldn't say anything to your son at all - and I really don't think he or you needs to worry. The 'fussy about height' friend is rather fussy about lots and lots of things...

I'm 5'8 with a fondness for heels. I nearly married a 5'4 Italian. I didn't because he was violent, not because of his height.

At 5'7, he should be fine.

My DH is 5ft 6 and I am 5ft 5 but I think he is being generous in his interpretation of his height. Doesn’t bother me.

My husband was shorter than me when we married (he was 20....yes, far too young ) and he is now taller. he continued to grow in his early 20s.

But far more importantly, it doesn't matter how tall he is. One of our sons has just married his lovely fiancee. She's way taller than him, and I could have cheered when she rocked up at the church in massive heels! It really shouldn't matter, and it won't if it's the right person.

I am 5.5 and DH is 5.7. I dated taller guys before but I chose to marry him

I think it’s really weird to worry about how attractive women will find your son. This is such a non issue and the fact you’ve placed so much importance on it is worrying. If anything stops him dating it will be the weird hang ups you have projected onto him.

My first husband was 4 inches shorter than me. You say that your son is a nice chap: that's the most important thing.

I have always fancied shorter men. I’m 5’6 and so is DP although he would say he is 5’7. Non of the short men I have dated in the past found it difficult to get girls.

I'm 5ft 1 and my husband is 5ft 8.
Our children are short too. My one son is 14.5 and 5ft 4.

Society can be hung up on height. I've had horrible comments over the years and seen threads on MN boasting jow tall the sons are. My nephews are very tall and this always gets complimented!
.
I have always taught my sons that height is just as shallow as weight and general looks, but that society is bothered by height sadly.

Fortunately there are lots of us who see beyond the trivial. Sounds like your son is a lovely person and that's the most important part.

I agree with the PP that 'short man syndrome' is very unsexy. That sort of prickly aggression to make up for their height, coupled with insecurity. But short men aren't unsexy at all. Some women only look at tall men. But some only look at dark men or beefy men. Physical preferences come in all flavours.

We are a house of Shire people. My 1st DH was 5.5 and our two children are grown up now and short.

My DH now is also 5.5 as am I. Before him I went out with a guy who was 6.2 for a couple of years and he wasn't nearly as kind or funny as my DH now.

We have two Ds's who are 8 and 11. Our 11 year old is going to be short most likely like his dad but he is so very kind and is popular at school ( despite a very severe stammer ) he recently told his dad and me that there is a girl in his year who likes him and wants to be his girlfriend when they are older 🤣 it's all very innocent and sweet but I have no worries that he will suffer dating wise because he is short, his dad didn't either.

Kindness and an ability to make women laugh is a much stinger aphrodisiac than height. He will find a lovely lady to share his wife with regardless of being 5.7.

I find men being the same height as me attractive. I really don't like men who are taller. Everyone has their preferences, he'll be fine.

That's a perfectly fine height.

I'm 5ft 1 and 5ft6-5ft9 is probably ideal for me. I'd imagine there are plenty of other short women out there that feel the same. And plenty more who are under 5ft 7 so he would still be taller than them anyway. IF that is something they care about.

My DH is 5 ft 7 and it's never entered my head that he's in any way lacking in the height department. He's perfect in my eyes. My ex was 6 ft 4 and I spent three years level with his armpits. He turned a lot of heads but gave me a crick in the neck.

If your son is a nice, kind, genuine lad who respects women, that matters far more than height.

Well, yes some women will not want to date shorter men. That’s true.

Same as some people don’t want to date very tall women, it’s a thing. At over 6ft, many (most) men would not want to date someone my size

It’s not been a huge problem though, as it only matters that the person you fancy, fancies you back. That one person. Everyone gets written off by others for one reason or another (too small, too tall, too fat, too skinny, too hairy whatever) that’s life.

At 5ft7 he’s not undateable (not sure anyone is, really!)

The one thing I know is that you can’t change your height so you just have to roll with it and make it your thing.

If he’s a nice guy, he’ll have no trouble dating

And worrying about it changes nothing anyway

Tell this to my DB who's always been I think 5 ft 7 - he's very good looking (lucky him) and yes he has bemoaned his lack of height but not a lot he can do about this - his DF was same height. But he also was on strong steroids when young which may have stunted his growth slightly - my DM was told.

One of my nicer boyfriends was 5 ft 6 or 7 and was just a really nice guy - as well as being very cute and good looking too.

You do get some men with 'small man syndrome' but I think you should just encourage your son to be the best he can and as Seregnetiqueen says to applaud him for his personality and physical attributes strengths.

My DP is 5'8" I don't give a damn. I love him for who he is.

I'm 6 foot.

My mum used to worry about me in reverse as I was 6'1" at 14 and men apparently only want to marry women shorter than them 🤷‍♀️ I'm happily married, and anyone that shallow I wouldn't have considered marrying anyway. Your son will be fine 🙂