Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Worried about my sons dating life due to his size

273 replies

ComputerDad · 29/09/2020 15:26

Hello Everyone,

This may be an odd question, however I worry a lot about my son ( Dont all parents!? ) and I just want him to be happy.

My son is a small young man, hes just under 5'7" tall and weighs about 61 Kg. He is 17 years old and not likely to grow any taller or according to the doc.

This normally wouldn't concern me, however I have seen posts on Mumset about short men, and my Wife mentions to me often that she loves how tall I am ( I am 6'2" ), and never liked men unless they were over a head taller than she was.

I worry that he will struggle in life due to his height, and have trouble finding women that like him.

He is a handsome young man, with thick dark hair and thick dark facial hair, with Italian features from his mothers side of the family. Even still, I am worried, by the way I have heard woman talk about smaller men.

I have no experience with this, as I have always been large, and never had to think about my size when trying to date woman.

Am I being irrational? Is this something that I should even be concerned about? Is there anything I can tell him or advise him when it comes to woman and his size?

Id appreciate any input you can provide.

OP posts:
SerenityNowwwww · 29/09/2020 15:53

Well there’s not much he can do about it is there?

He can choose if he is the kind of guy who treats his girlfriends well, if he is fun to be around and interesting, if he has hobbies and interests that he can discuss, if he is loyal and honest or a cheating ratbag... the actual stuff that matters.

Gooseybby · 29/09/2020 15:53

I'm 5ft7, my partner is 5ft6. He lied to me online, but thank goodness he did because otherwise i wouldnt have given him a chance; i was shallow about height before.

Leimarel · 29/09/2020 15:56

There are plenty of famous men who are the same height as your son. It's not an issue for the majority of women. He'll be fine.

Browneyesbigbum · 29/09/2020 15:57

I think to women that value personality over height he will be fine. To the more shallow of the species (yes you get shallow women and men) then they will avoid no matter how attractive he is facially, in personality or otherwise but really they aren't worth the effort anyway.

There are many, many lovely brilliant women who are happy to pick a partner based on things other than the height

jessstan2 · 29/09/2020 15:57

5'7" is absolutely fine. When I was young, many years ago, it was average height for a chap; I am 5'5" and a 5'7" man would have been fine. He isn't tiny! There are plenty of girls around who are 5'3" or 4" so please do not worry.

popcornlover · 29/09/2020 15:57

For me height, weight, looks are not an issue.

I have become aware however that the most common thing women ask on dating sites by far is “how tall are you?” It really bewilders me as it would never occur to me to ask that, plus I think it is really rude.

I think 5’7 is fine. It’s still taller than most women.

trunumber · 29/09/2020 15:57

I'm nearly 5ft 10, always assumed I wanted a tall man and that it mattered.

It didn't, DH is 5 foot 4 - the sexiest man in the world and the my rock.

Yes, some woman won't date him because he's under 6ft. Those weren't the right women for him anyway.

Teach him to be confident and treat people with respect. That will get him further than any height would

Othering · 29/09/2020 15:59

@timeforawine

If he's a good guy OP he'll be fine :-) My husband is only 5'5 (i'm 5'3) a friend is around 5'7 and her husband is 5'3. Height doesn't matter to most women
Well, it does to a lot of women, hence the phrase tall, dark and handsome.
schnubbins · 29/09/2020 15:59

I'm 5 ft 10 and had a boyfriend that was 5 ft7 when I was in my 20's.He was such a good laugh and was as mad as a hatter and we had such fun together. Our height difference never bothered us just other people who would often make stupid comments that we just laughed off. We didn't stay together for other reasons but I still smile when I think of him.Your son will be fine.

Fightthebear · 29/09/2020 15:59

I don’t think it will be an issue as long as he doesn’t see it as an issue.

dazzlinghaze · 29/09/2020 16:00

5'7 isn't mega short, he'll still be taller than a lot of women. For me it's never mattered if a man was objectively tall, I just wanted someone taller than me. Which at 5'2 hasn't been hard to find! And all of my friends say the same.

Carycy · 29/09/2020 16:00

I’m 5ft3 and happily dated guys of that height.
It’s not an issue for me as it’s plenty tall enough. I dated a couple of much taller guys and didn’t like the height difference between us. But again it was never a deal breaker. Most women are not that shallow.

SerenityNowwwww · 29/09/2020 16:01

In my family all the girls and under 5”4 (apart from me as I am part yeti apparently) and mum (and grandma) was only about 5 foot nothing.

The actress from game of thrones - I forget her name - played the red haired drippy princess who was always moping around - her husband is shorter as is the Sophie Dahl and Jamie doodah marriage.

FizzyPink · 29/09/2020 16:01

My very charming and handsome builder is about 5”6 and he is lovely Grin sadly he already has a fiancé

I really wouldn’t worry

LocalHobo · 29/09/2020 16:02

Look at Sophie Dahl and her short jazz player DH, Jamie Callum, 5ft 11ins to 5ft 4ins.
They seem blissfully happy.

DaisyBD · 29/09/2020 16:03

height was the only deal breaker for me when i was online dating, but i was a moron as i then met my now dh (in real life not OLD - i would have discounted him) and he's two inches shorter than me and i couldn't care less

beanpop335 · 29/09/2020 16:03

I'm 5'9 and my DH is 5'7. I am so grateful I don't ever have to wear high heels! I wore converse on our wedding day, so we both were both winners on that day. Don't worry OP x

SerenityNowwwww · 29/09/2020 16:04

Snap! I’m sure there are loads of examples - but why should it matter? My short sister married someone over a foot taller - not happy at all (he is a git).

Aquamarine1029 · 29/09/2020 16:04

Teach your son to respect women and he will have no trouble finding a wonderful partner.

PamwichShilling · 29/09/2020 16:04

I think it's quite an odd thing to worry about. 5ft 7 isn't even that short, I don't think he'll have any issues finding a partner due to it, if he wants to. He'll still be taller than most women if they care about that sort of thing (many don't). It matters more what kind of person he is.

fuckyoucoronaihavelostmyjob · 29/09/2020 16:04

I know a few guys that height who are all happily married to lovely women

WunWun · 29/09/2020 16:06

My ex is 5'8 and it's never occurred to me that that is short. Off the top of my head I can think of at least three actually short guys I know who are in relationships. I know a guy of about 5'1 who is happily married to a woman a few inches shorter than him.

Alonelonelyloner · 29/09/2020 16:07

He's 17. He'll probably grow until he's 21 or so. My second son was around 5'7 when he was 17. At 20 he is now 6'1.

In any case I don't know any women who genuinely will only date tall men. It's very superficial. I think your wife sounds a bit mean -especially as she probably know you worry about this and your son.

ancientgran · 29/09/2020 16:07

One of my sons is 5'6" or 5'7" and he's never had problems finding a girlfriend. He's married now, she is about 5'1" so maybe he looks tall to her. I will say he has a great personality, everybody loves him and in a crowd he stands out more than his taller brothers.

QuimReaper · 29/09/2020 16:08

5'7?! From the tone of your post you sound like he's under 5'5 (and I do feel sorry for some young men who are, although I've known many who are and don't seem bothered). He's taller than the average (British) woman, I very seriously don't see a problem here. I really think of 5'7 as a totally normal height for a man, and I'm 167cm (so almost 5'6). If it matters to him he'll gravitate towards shorter women, of which there are millions.