Worried about my sons dating life due to his size

[ComputerDad]

Hello Everyone,

This may be an odd question, however I worry a lot about my son ( Dont all parents!? ) and I just want him to be happy.

My son is a small young man, hes just under 5'7" tall and weighs about 61 Kg. He is 17 years old and not likely to grow any taller or according to the doc.

This normally wouldn't concern me, however I have seen posts on Mumset about short men, and my Wife mentions to me often that she loves how tall I am ( I am 6'2" ), and never liked men unless they were over a head taller than she was.

I worry that he will struggle in life due to his height, and have trouble finding women that like him.

He is a handsome young man, with thick dark hair and thick dark facial hair, with Italian features from his mothers side of the family. Even still, I am worried, by the way I have heard woman talk about smaller men.

I have no experience with this, as I have always been large, and never had to think about my size when trying to date woman.

Am I being irrational? Is this something that I should even be concerned about? Is there anything I can tell him or advise him when it comes to woman and his size?

Id appreciate any input you can provide.

@Shedbuilder

No time to read all 123 response to make sure no one's posted this already, so sorry if it's a repeat:

Tom Cruise 5'7"
Robin Williams 5'7"
Sylvester Stallone 5'8"
Winston Churchill 5'6"

Stop thinking of your son as short: he'll pick up your worries and that will undermine his confidence.

This made me laugh! Not exactly an attractive line up !

Just to add, your biggest concern as a father should be not his height, but teaching him how to truly respect women, be empathetic, and to naturally take on an equal share of household duties and bringing up children (mainly through your own example). There's a HUGE shortage of genuinely good men out there. Apart from being the right thing to do, he'd also be popular with women who are looking for good men to have a proper relationship with.

DH is 5 ft 6".

I'm the same height.

In the past I've dated men taller and shorter.

I love every bloody inch of him.

He's handsome, kind, funny and intelligent.

The idea that I'd have turned him down or would swap him for someone taller makes me laugh out loud!!!

All that your DS will experience is a natural twit filter for women who value something as trivial as height over much more important characteristics.

Our DS is incidentally the same height and I have absolutely no worries whatsoever about his "dating potential" - other than his ability to match his fathers impeccable choice in women .

He is a handsome young man, with thick dark hair and thick dark facial hair, with Italian features from his mothers side of the family.

This is bringing back fond memories of the beautiful 5’6 italian rugby player i dated at college wistful

Am now married to a 6’4 man. Don’t give a toss about height and any woman who does isn’t going to be right for your son anyway.

OhCaptain that’s your opinion though, they all have had wives/girlfriends.

I'm 5'2" and he'd still be taller than me if I wore heels!

@Shedbuilder

No time to read all 123 response to make sure no one's posted this already, so sorry if it's a repeat:

Tom Cruise 5'7"
Robin Williams 5'7"
Sylvester Stallone 5'8"
Winston Churchill 5'6"

Stop thinking of your son as short: he'll pick up your worries and that will undermine his confidence.

Chuckled at this too! The OP's concern is about women finding his son physically attractive. I'm sure there are so many attractive short men out there, so apart from Tom Cruise in his heyday, I'm not sure how those particular short men were picked out?!

my dp is about that height and its really not an issue.

Im sure some people have a preference, but its not something to be concerned about

Never mind about Tom Cruise and all the others.
All you need to know is that Paul Newman was 5ft 7in.

Men don't stop growing until they're 19

5' 7" - can't see a problem. Both my late OH and I were/are that height. I was normal build/plump - he was like a stick insect. I always used to say we were working towards being like a seaside postcard!

I think you should put this concern to bed and never ever mention it again. I am quite concerned that it seems you have taken him to the doc over it, so you have sown the seeds of inadequacy totally unnecessarily.

Height doesn't bother me. I'd take a nice personality over height any day.

A friend is short and had massive issues about his height when he was younger. All his family are much taller than him.

He wore bespoke shoes with hidden extra height in the heels. He was going to get his legs broken and lengthened but eventually decided not to. He was mugged. He started doing martial arts and seemed to start thriving about that time.

He's now got his own family with children and a wife that are all taller than him. He's a lot happier within himself but it's taken a long time to get there.

Teach him how to treat women well and respect them. Make sure he's a good person and his ever so slightly shorter hight won't matter a jot! My partner is 6 2 but it's his personality, interests and his behaviour which are way more important. It's sweet you worry about him but I don't really think you need to worry about this.

As people have said, he'll tower over many women. I'm 5' 2", two of my friends are 4' 11". And what attracts one woman (or man) doesn't attract others.

Some women prefer blonds, others brunettes. Some find beards attractive, others like bald men (with or without a beard). And then, of course, we all know someone who ended up head over heels with a person the complete opposite of what they 'normally' go for.

And he's got plenty of role models - Tom Cruise, James McAvoy, Rupert Grint are all (apparently) 5'7" or thereabouts. And Daniel Radcliffe said, when he was 18 years old, that he was 5'5". And that's not stopped him!

As many people on here have said, it's confidence, the ability to talk and listen to women, treat women as equals, has a good sense of humour as well as looks/height that gets attention.

I know one man who seems to have it all, tall, good looking, fit, good job. But he is an obnoxious bloke, very full of his own self importance as far as women are concerned and can't figure out why women don't go beyond a date or two.

Build his confidence, teach him to respect women and he'll be just fine.

Dammit, I missed Paul Newman!

I don't think Sylvester Stallone was short of wives and Robin Williams had his charms. Tom Cruise was hot before he jumped the shark.
I threw in Winston Churchill partly out of surprise. I'd always thought he was a tall bloke, and what that tells us is that the world is full of 5'7' men who everyone assumes are taller than they really are.

Honestly, OP, don't go giving your son a complex.

My mum thinks my dad is lovely and tall. He’s 5’8 but she’s only 5’1

My brother wishes he was taller - he is also 5’8 - so he married a 5’8 woman and now has tall sons!!

I'm 5'7, which is relatively tall for a women. I definitely have a thing for taller guys, and wont lie I did have a wobble when I was talking to a guy who was 5'8 and asked me for a drink. We went for a date and only time I noticed his height was when I thought "his height is not an issue in the slightest".

I no longer even think about height when I'm talking to someone with a view to going on a date.

My son is 18 and probably about the same height. Would be very surprised if he grew more now tbh.

He never seems to struggle to get a girlfriend. His latest relationship is just over a year and they seem very happy.

He is genuinely a lovely lad who knows how to treat women as he has grown up with 4 sisters 🙂

Have dated 5ft 4 to 6ft 2. For me 5ft 7 would be fine because I'm 5ft 4. Have been put off someone who was same height as me, but that was more his problem, his face and demeanour changed whenever I wore 2 inch heels, I could tell he found it intimidating. Now if he was fine and hadn't batted an eyelid, that would of been a different matter. Make sure you don't inadvertently transfer your worries to your son, it's not even worthy of mention. Average height if 5ft5 I think, so he's a good 2 inches on top of that and there is so much of importance than height.

It's a dating app thing.

If he meets someone at university (which is where most young'uns tend to meet their other halves), it will be a non-issue, because girls will get to know him in person, and get to know him as a person rather than a statistic.

Dating by numbers is brutal for anyone, even if they're tall.

He's the perfect height for a Formula one driver. He's going to need a shitty stick.

My sister's husband is 5'8". One of my closest friends has a partner who's shorter than me (I'm 5'5") and is possibly the nicest man I know. Their son is 16 and about his dads height but really good at sport.

Are you sure your son has stopped growing?Boys can carry on growing until 21. DS1 stopped at 16 but ds2 carried on until he was 20. I have a photo of DS2 within mates at the end of Y11, they are all really tall and he was about 5'7" or 8". When he was in Y11 his then-girlfriend was taller than him when she wore heels. He was 6 foot by 18 and is now 6'2" .

Whatever height your son is, women are usually attracted to personality. If he's a good person then he will be fine. Please do not let him know you are concerned and reassure him if he expresses concerns.

Absolutely agree that confidence and self esteem matters a lot more than physical attributes in determining the health and happiness of anyone's relationships.

As an aside, worrying about something that cannot be changed isn't going to do very much for your enjoyment of life. It might be tempting but it really doesn't help anything.

5ft 7 really isn't that short for a man - UK male ave height is 5ft 9. to me, a man 5ft 5 or less is pretty short.

im 5ft 9 and i find i'm taller than a lot of men.