DH wants to move out and date me

[canadianflower]

My husband has said he's not sure what he wants and says he wants to move out. We have a tiny house we have been trying to sell and he wants to move in here while he works out what he wants and "date" me. He also wants the kids there 50% of the time.

I feel it's unfair to disrupt everyone for a while but obviously appreciate this would be the new normal if we divorce. He's not saying he wants to divorce though, just that he needs space and wants to date me to revive the marriage.

What would you do?

Pack his bags and tell him to fuck off.

Tell him to get on with the divorce.

That way you won't be wondering what who he is doing in that house on your 'non date nights'.

I would tell him it’s the beginning of the end and he’s having a laugh. Also very confusing for the children. Are you separated/married/on a break or what?

I would say no, just go.

I would assume he’s having an affair

It would be on your bike from me! How insulting :(

His 50% of the time with the kids is a ploy to claim he is 50% Dad whilst you will still do all the drudge jobs like doctors, school, buying clothes etc for child support and financial matters.

It's a trap!

He's waaaaay ahead of you on this, legally, which makes me suspicious that he has a plan and probably legal advice. And I'm so sorry, but there's probably someone else. This "dating" you business is a touch too "the gentleman doth protest too much".

I would tell him to fuck right off.

WHAT an arse.

What a novel way of dumping someone lol!

You’re married
You own a house
This isn’t a fucking tinder date 6 weeks in

If you agree to this. You will be in for more pain than you’re even beginning to experience now.

Dont believe him. This is his way of separating with you making a fuss. No good can come from this. Tell him if he leaves, it isnt so he can come and go as he pleases or date you. It is the start of the divorce.

And you move out!!!! WTAF
WTAF
WTAF

He can have as much space as he likes once the divorce comes through.

He's a coward and I would expect your 'date nights ' would be non existent.

Tell him to fuck off! How bloody insulting! He wants to get to live a happy little bachelor life with sex on tap, but without having to do the daily chores of living with your family.

No. Why would you want to date someone who's dumped you and taken the children for half of the week?

Cherchez la femme.

Are you happy for the kids to live away from you half of the week? Because this could set a precedence for custody if you do end up divorcing.

My ex-husband told me he just didn’t want to be together anymore but that he still loved me and there was no-one else.

At first he wanted to continue living together in the same house but be no longer a couple (i.e. didn’t want to pay for his own place) because this would somehow be “the best thing” for our child who “needed both parents”.

Then when I said no to that, he moved out (to live with the person he had met online dating) and wanted our child to live “between both houses” with no set schedule (I.e. he was free to live like a teenager and fit our DC in around his social life at the drop of a hat) with me basically doing all the parenting but setting the situation up for shared custody in the event of a divorce (so he wouldn’t have to pay child support and could see his child whenever it suited him, rather than at the weekends, which he wanted free to party).

I would be very wary of someone who is married who says they want “space”

It's not how it works is it, you don't move in with someone and have children with them, then move out and date them. You want the relationship of a partner/wife with him, not to be his girlfriend.

I’d assume he had a bit on the side and was trying to transition from you to her without you realising.

On that basis I’d tell him to fuck right off and start divorce proceedings.

He only wants the best you, all dressed up and willing to put out, not you in your pjs wrecked from minding the kids.

He’s a fucker
I’m so cross on your behalf

Kick him out and let him have the kids 50/50.

Kick him out

Nope. He's 100% in or 100% out. If he even hesitates, take back control and ask him to leave.
And find out who it is he's hoping to try before buying.

My ex did this. It's called having his cake and eating it. M

Kick him to the kerb

He has no intention of dating you, he sees that as throwing you a bone - because he's such a 'catch' and you'll be devastated without him. What a twat. Use the comforting remedy of divorce and make sure you have an excellent solicitor.

Tell your soon to be ex-husband absolutely NONE of your plans.

He’s trying to leave you gently. I’m sorry but he doesn’t get a quiet life as a singleton with sex on tap and the kids when he wants them - he can have that after the divorce.

Ask him how he is going to explain this ridiculous set up to your dc.

What an absolute knob.

Cheeky fucker! tell him to piss off.