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Original poster

DH has not come home yet...

504 replies

HaveYouSeentheWritingontheWall · 07/07/2018 05:06

He went to work at 6:30am yesterday, said he was going to have a drink after work and I've not heard from him or seen him since then, he finished work at 12:30.

He's not done this before, but he has recently been lying to me about who he has been out drinking with.

OP posts:
user1483387154 · 07/07/2018 05:11

Have you phoned him?

BitOutOfPractice · 07/07/2018 05:16

Oh goodness. Do you know who he went out with?

Original poster
HaveYouSeentheWritingontheWall · 07/07/2018 05:20

Yes I've tried calling him. Have also been texting him.

No I don't know who he went out with. I've recently found out that he has been lying to me about who he has been out drinking with.

OP posts:
StormcloakNord · 07/07/2018 05:22

Are you worried for his safety or worried he's up to something untoward?

Emma198 · 07/07/2018 05:23

How did you find out he was lying?

Cantsleeptooloud · 07/07/2018 05:24

Assuming he's been out drinking and crashed out at someone's house. I would not let him back in until I'd found out exactly where he'd been.

I hate these situations because if the situation was reversed then my dh would have called police and hospitals etc. but if it's him I have to assume he's fallen asleep somewhere. One of our rules is that you always come home. It's such shitty, inconsiderate behaviour.

He'll show up later.

Original poster
HaveYouSeentheWritingontheWall · 07/07/2018 05:39

I found out about the lying because friends told me that they had seen him out drinking with a woman who used to be in our sports group (this woman called the group names after we lost a match and then left the group).

OP posts:
SippingSipsmith · 07/07/2018 05:40

Are your phones synced to same computer? Can you use Find my iPhone app? Find out where he is

Original poster
HaveYouSeentheWritingontheWall · 07/07/2018 05:44

She goes to the same drinking establishment as DH and me, I avoid her because she always makes nasty comments about the other members of the sports group.

OP posts:
Original poster
HaveYouSeentheWritingontheWall · 07/07/2018 05:46

We both have different Android phones

OP posts:
Original poster
HaveYouSeentheWritingontheWall · 07/07/2018 05:49

I fear that our 28 year relationship has just smashed on to the rocks.

OP posts:
heartyrebel · 07/07/2018 05:54

Doesn't look good under the circumstances

spacewitch99 · 07/07/2018 05:55

That’s almost 24 hours he has been out of contact. I would be tempted to call 101. Did he definitely go to work yesterday? Has anyone seen him at all?

Mummyoflittledragon · 07/07/2018 05:57

This is just far too long to be out. I really feel for you. Flowers

Icecreamandpineapple · 07/07/2018 06:08

Well it doesn't sound good if he's been lying to you, he's got some serious explaining to do when he comes back.
Also, I imagine he has I.d on him? so of he was involved in anything, such as an accident, you'd likely have been notified by now.

Original poster
HaveYouSeentheWritingontheWall · 07/07/2018 06:12

I presume he did actually go to work yesterday, he left home at the same time as usual in uniform. If he goes for a drink after work on a Friday he usually comes home briefly first but didn't do yesterday as there was no need for him to come home.

OP posts:
Original poster
HaveYouSeentheWritingontheWall · 07/07/2018 06:17

Yes he has his work ID on him and a works mobile phone as well as his own.

OP posts:
Emma198 · 07/07/2018 06:20

and he hasn't answered any texts or calls at all?

BeachyUmbrella · 07/07/2018 06:44

Would he go drinking in uniform, or did he take a change of clothes?

Original poster
HaveYouSeentheWritingontheWall · 07/07/2018 06:50

He's now sent a text saying that he bumped into an old friend and crashed out at his place.

Don't know whether I believe him or not, if he had never told lies then I wouldn't be doubting him. So even if it is the truth the trust is gone.

OP posts:
Emma198 · 07/07/2018 06:52

what's your gut feeling?

Original poster
HaveYouSeentheWritingontheWall · 07/07/2018 07:02

General uniform is pretty casual (the job is generally quite messy) so he does have spare trousers and shirts that he keeps in work for management meetings so he could have used them or taken other spares, I don't know what he currently has left in work but I will know when he comes home.

OP posts:
Original poster
HaveYouSeentheWritingontheWall · 07/07/2018 07:11

This is the one person who he has never just 'bumped into' it's always been pre arranged meet ups, he's the one person I don't have contact details for. My gut feeling is that it is BS but is that just because I've been lied to for a long time?

OP posts:
Emma198 · 07/07/2018 07:17

from what you've said it sounds like he might be sleeping with this woman, if he's lying to you about seeing her and now he's out all night.

MargotMoon · 07/07/2018 07:29

Sounds like he has spent the night at this woman's place. The crashing out on a mate's sofa is a standard bullshit line. Unless your gut is telling you otherwise? But his recent lying doesn't help. Sorry OP.