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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

NC (No Contact) thread #11: learning all the way

999 replies

Belonger · 02/04/2018 12:42

A thread for anyone going/maintaining/struggling with/succeeding in going NC with someone for whatever reason. No judgement, just lots of support. All different situations welcome.

Many of us have found www.baggagereclaim.co.uk useful, worth a look for helpful articles and podcasts

OP posts:
Thread gallery
34
anxiousnow · 02/04/2018 12:50

Thanks for new thread belonger. Is the cafe open for bank holiday? Hope everyone is ok.

Tictactic · 02/04/2018 12:56

Marking my place

LiteraryDevil · 02/04/2018 13:08

Hi everyone!

Rhubarbginn · 02/04/2018 13:19

Thanks belonger. Day 18 for me. Gradually feeling better. This is the longest it’s been in my terms. And you do have a bit more clarity as the days tick by.
How is everyone?

Original poster
Belonger · 02/04/2018 13:26

Cafe open, but service might be a bit slow today, its snowing here and I've gone back into hibernation mode

OP posts:
Original poster
Belonger · 02/04/2018 13:26

That's great rhubarb, really impressive

OP posts:
Goatlady5812 · 02/04/2018 13:31

Love this thread!

LiteraryDevil · 02/04/2018 13:34

I think I'm Day 8 but I don't really count. I resisted the email but tempted to send a postcard from our anniversary trip next weekend, "wish you were here.....just kidding, I'm enjoying not having your toxicity in my life."

Original poster
Belonger · 02/04/2018 13:45

Don't send it lit!

OP posts:
LiteraryDevil · 02/04/2018 13:46

Don't worry, I won't Smile

Original poster
Belonger · 02/04/2018 13:48

Hi goatlady!

OP posts:
LiteraryDevil · 02/04/2018 13:49

What happened to that bizarre poster from the other day who was going on about her family and made no sense?

wossgoinon · 02/04/2018 13:51

I’m here still. Day 10 for me. Still miss the cheating shit though. Still very upset by it all. Wanted to contact him yesterday but held my resolve

Original poster
Belonger · 02/04/2018 13:57

Well done woss, you're doing great

OP posts:
LiteraryDevil · 02/04/2018 14:01

Woss great going Thanks

curragh1 · 02/04/2018 14:09

Day 8 for me and just had my first tinder date! Lovely bloke! I felt wobbly about my NC yesterday but didn't contact him. I deleted his number and messages off my phone this week, but I still know his email address off by heart!

NK1cf53daaX127805d4fd5 · 02/04/2018 14:23

Still here! Day 15

Teensandfuture · 02/04/2018 14:27

Hi all
Marking my place on new thread.

I'm doing well re my true NC-I think I'm mostly over him but 1 year NC guy is a totally different kettle of fish and the whole on and off contact with him, rollercoaster of emotions and inevitably rejections still continues for 15 months now.
For those who not aware of latest update-we met up about a week ago, went out , kissed, ended up back in his house and bed, nearly had sex but I said next time so he dropped me off home.
I sexted him few days later and he said he only wants to be friends as he's happy and he dates someone else now and hopes it goes good places. He remained open to meet up for a drink as friends..

pineappleeyes · 02/04/2018 14:41

I did 6 months no contact..And was just beginning to go the whole day without thinking about him. Then he contacted me in February this year, I fell soft....he's messed me about (again) and now I'm going NC again. It's exhausting

anxiousnow · 02/04/2018 15:21

Well done everyone.
That's hard pineapple and cruel of him to draw you back in.

Aminuts23 · 02/04/2018 15:54

I was a poster on one of the earlier NC threads. Just worked out I’ve done just over 6 months NC. It really does get better with time. I felt shocked, dazed and devastated in the first 2-3 weeks. I was angry, he’d spent 11 months pretending to be a nice guy then ended things in the most cowardly, despicable and disrespectful way. It was a massive shock, didn’t see it coming at all. 6 months on I’m happily single, had a great weekend with friends and family. The ex who doesn’t ‘do relationships’ probably spent it with his new GF! I’d warn her if I could be arsed. He did the same thing to the one before me. He’s pathetic, we are stronger, don’t ever forget that, however bleak it feels FlowersFlowers

pineappleeyes · 02/04/2018 16:04

Yes anxious it's really hard. He's going through his own difficult time so I doubt he's thinking straight but still no excuse to treat me so badly.

He's in my thoughts 24/7. Totally consumes every second.

MrsGryllsTheSecond · 02/04/2018 16:07

Checking in. Feeling frustrated I can only snatch a few minutes of MN time here and there at the moment so need to have a proper read of the thread tomorrow if I get a lunch break. Am dreading seeing him tomorrow. I feel so angry towards him but I know that that’s superficial in some ways. Underneath I’m devastated but that’s probably not so much at the loss of him but at the loss of something that was an escape from my daily reality.

Strength to all Flowers

Ravenscloak · 02/04/2018 16:17

Aminuts23 thanks for the update. Always good to have people come back and say NC works.

wossgoinon · 02/04/2018 16:22

I’m just trying to fill my time

  1. Redecorate. Have it how I want
  2. Joined a gym .. omg I will go I will
  3. Had make up done at the Guerlain counter in JL ..spent £100 ...felt fab
  4. I just want to try and be my best self and love who I was again.

It’s very hard when you miss the good bits and not receiving texts from him. But the bad outweighed the good and him going on Tinder because he was ‘bored’ was the last straw for me.

I hope everyone is doing well