NC (No Contact) thread #11: learning all the way

[Belonger]

A thread for anyone going/maintaining/struggling with/succeeding in going NC with someone for whatever reason. No judgement, just lots of support. All different situations welcome.

Many of us have found www.baggagereclaim.co.uk useful, worth a look for helpful articles and podcasts

Just catching up. I'm a bit of a lurker, so u may not hear from me much but I'm around and thinking of you all.

I retreat inwards when hurting and feeling like a madwoman...I thought there was something wrong with me. Reading your stories and seeing what your all sadly going through has made me realise...my feelings and thoughts are normal and all parts of the split and the grief.

My best friend is amazing, love her to bits but she thinks I should just get over it, doesn't understand when I have that sick panicky anxious feeling.

Is it just me, or does there seem to be more people that can handle break ups effortlessly or do you think behind closed doors they really feel heartbroken and don't show it?

Watched graham Norton show and a song on it from a singer call Joan Armtrading. Randomly cried my eyes out during it then stopped. Thought I'd got to a point where I couldn't cry anymore. Completely caught me off guard

@Babyblue Halkidiki in Greece - a friend from uni lives out there so I will go meet up with her! I feel a bit better today thanks but then I don’t have to go to work today! Haha!
Awww all the little things are so cute! Yes I imagine you will have a lot of gifts bought for you as well so probably don’t need to shop too much haha!

Be strong don’t check his what’s app! He is an absolute idiot! You don’t need him. You have your family.

Baby message here instead...,whenever you get the urge to check whatsapp.

Not swapped numbers yet. He again messaged late last night so I didn't reply until this morning. Maybe that's why he waits to reply to me? Or doesn't want to seem too eager. I just wish people would be true to themselves and not worry about how they appear. It's 3 days since we started chatting. I might send him my number and see what happens.

@Dimael oh that's sounds nice, any room in h suitcase! I'll have dropped an extra 6-8lb by then haha so I'll be light 😂
A holiday in the sun will do you so much good!
And having a friend out ther that doesn't know the full situation is good too, means yo can just sit back and enjoy.

@WheelyCote your best friend and my bestfriend be could rule the world 😂
I used to be he friend that was super blunt and you need to pull it together and move on. I'm still very much that person. But being pregnant in this situation is probably why I can't seem to move on.
Normally after a break up. No matter how hard and much a struggle - I just move on from it.
I've never held back and tried as hard with someone as I have his one.

Number sent! Let's see if he uses it. I get very nervous chatting on the phone though but do like it.

Good work literary! Everything crossed

I gave in and messaged him this morning.... saying
He doesn't have anything to say or doesn't care about anything I said yesterday. You've sat and stated apparently we're together, but tbh you're a single man that seems to think I'll just sit here. You can't even talk to me like an adult. This is a game.

He replied with a GIF saying have a good weekend

Can't.

Baby let him go now. He's very much telling you he isn't interested and that he's a childish wanker who you don't need in your life.

Baby - he’s a total knob

Baby he's a douchebag

I feel like he's sucked me back in, into wasting time and effort.

I know it's not worth it, but the more he ignores me the more
I'm finding it easy to bite.

I've sent him 3 messages, since the gif. Nothing read and not online

I haven't told my best friends either, I'm with one now. I'll know they'll murder me

baby He's an arse.
He has no feelings for you or your unborn baby. Hes treating you like utter shit when he should be there for you & supporting you.
Let the loser go. Focus on yourself & your baby & see him as a sperm donor. His reply pissed me off. Please delete him.

He's probably having a good weekend and keeping busy. So you try and do the same.
My mum said years ago about an ex why would you want anyone who doesn't want You. I keep remembering it.
Wish I could give you a big hug baby

@pineappleeyes
I know, he's a complete head fuck.
I wish I didn't react to the gif I wish I hadn't messaged him again this morning. I knew I wouldn't get what I needed.

You're right, he's been having all his weekends and days off doing whatever with whoever, and I I don't get a second thought.

All my friends tell me the same, you shouldn't want someone who doesn't want you, and it's true.

I don't feel as upset as I would of a few months ago, I'm just fed up of the wasted energy, and I hate that this feeling of hope sits inside me. Like hopefully he'll see things and he'll understand. But he never will.
If I wasn't carrying this baby, I know I could tolerate this. I know I could just Fuck him off completely!

A virtual hug will have to do haha xx

Baby you really have to leave it now. Dust yourself off, head high, block, delete. When baby is here then have a rethink. It's the only way otherwise he will ruin the rest of your pregnancy

NC (No Contact) Thread #12: Realising our self worth and reclaiming our lives free from fuckwittagewww.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3247214-nc-no-contact-thread-12-realising-our-self-worth-and-reclaiming-our-lives-free-from-fuckwittage

new thread once this is full x

@LiteraryDevil I know. I started re typing and then deleted it.

I sent him a message after the GIF, he's read them. Been online and chosen to not reply. So I know nothings changed nothing will.

I'm so gutted I feel like I'm back to the start. 😢😰

You're not back at the start at all. It's just a moment of hormonal madness

@LiteraryDevil I know.
I just feel like I've taken a real blow. Like I want to to keep texting, i am back to the start. :(
It's going to take time to get back to sort of where I was.

baby it was a blip. You has to try and get some answers. You didn't get them so put it to bed now. Youre not back at the start...see his shitty replies & no replies as a help....a help to ger you to realse what a prick he is. He'll be no good for you or your baby if he ever does get in touch. Just look as an outsider at how he's treating you.

I've been out shopping and bought absolutely crap. Just food, cleaning stuff etc. NC perm in my thoughts. Dc are back tomorrow so I'll be back to been busy. Then at half term we are going on holiday so we'll start holiday preps.

Xxx

Make it two virtual hugs Baby.

Yes for any of you who break NC, don't take it as a step back. Because the response you get from them will just show you what you already know...but I guess over time sometimes we forget and start hoping/wishing they'll change and become this amazing person who actually gives a shit. Then when we either don't get a message or get some crappy dickhead response, it just CONFIRMS what we know, and we can begin NC again.

I've had my NC on my mind most of the day. Feelings of not being good enough have finally hit me. I think because before that I always felt like I could go back if I wanted to (I'm sure I still could at any time in the future) but that knowing him he'll be in some relationship soon with someone else. But even then he still won't be good enough, and he'll still be up to no good behind her back I'm sure. Sigh.

Going out tonight, that should help!

And over to the new thread:

NC (No Contact) Thread #12: Realising our self worth and reclaiming our lives free from fuckwittagewww.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3247214-nc-no-contact-thread-12-realising-our-self-worth-and-reclaiming-our-lives-free-from-fuckwittage