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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

2 valentines cards

242 replies

Oneandoneontheway · 14/02/2018 23:04

Found 2 cards last night, both blank in my husbands laptop bag. He was away with work today on site. I have been given one card and just checked the bag now & the other card is no longer there. Paranoia or reason to be suspicious?!?!!!!

OP posts:
esk1mo · 14/02/2018 23:05

very suspicious

Justmuddlingalong · 14/02/2018 23:06

Very, very suspicious.

Puttheknifedown · 14/02/2018 23:09

For me it's not suspicious. I often buy more than one card as I can't decide and either tell myself I'll use both or save one for next year. Could it be that?

Oneandoneontheway · 14/02/2018 23:13

But if it was buying 2 and not sure which to give, then why give me the less funny/cute one and then remove the other from his bag. I saw them around 11pm last night & he left for London about 5.30 this morning. So i think it must have been a card for someone else. Uggg

OP posts:
frutti · 14/02/2018 23:13

Maybe just make a joke and say oh so who’s the other card for and see what he says?
I have bought two for my h before.
I saw one and thought it was hilarious then thought hmm maybe this ones nicer so I bought that. Could be anything. I’d just ask him.

Oneandoneontheway · 14/02/2018 23:17

i should ask him , but don't think i would get an honest answer. He will either laugh or have a go at me. But we either way i would end up feeling unsure. I have had a few occasions over the past 12 months of feeling unsure, but he keeps on saying that he wouldn't have time for anyone else !. But i think that if your having an affair then you cam always make time

OP posts:
Only1scoop · 14/02/2018 23:18

Yes I'd be suspicious and I'd ask him face to face

LadyGAgain · 14/02/2018 23:19

Your gut instinct is a powerful thing. What does it tell you?

Catkins0877 · 14/02/2018 23:21

I've bought two before when i can't make my mind up:) just ask him.

KungFuEric · 14/02/2018 23:21

Ive known people give a work mate one as 'banter' because they have a bromance or something,

If you're already suspicious though then it's not great.

Oneandoneontheway · 14/02/2018 23:21

50/50 tbh, that's what makes me nervous, would feel stronger if i was more certain one way or the other

OP posts:
Plentyoffishnets · 14/02/2018 23:23

i hate to ask one but how sure are you thay he was going to work today?

Justmuddlingalong · 14/02/2018 23:24

So he would laugh or have a go at you rather than give you an explanation or reassurance? So you won't ask him about it?

Oneandoneontheway · 14/02/2018 23:27

I actually thought about ringing his office today to see if they had him off on holiday. But didn't, im probably being really unfair. But hate this and hate that i feel i cant ask him

OP posts:
Worieddd · 14/02/2018 23:30

I’d be doing some further digging

Oneandoneontheway · 14/02/2018 23:34

Further digging how though??

OP posts:
Dancingfairy · 14/02/2018 23:38

This is a man we are talking about I'm sorry to steroetype but I can't see many men not being able to decide between two as they like both.

mehhh · 14/02/2018 23:40

Very suspicious!

Bettybettybettybetty · 14/02/2018 23:41

I do this with birthday cards- buy one, lose it so buy another. Could be innocent but if he is likely to turn it on you, there are far bigger issues brewing.

KungFuEric · 14/02/2018 23:43

Digging as in can you access his phone or bank statements?

6demandingchildren · 14/02/2018 23:43

My husband also brought 2 cards, one for me and one for his friend to give to his wife, maybe your DH did the same?

MrsElvis · 14/02/2018 23:48

Could it be for his mum?

But imo you already know. You know!

Worieddd · 14/02/2018 23:51

Yes you need to look through his phone when he gets home
Bank accounts
Check his draws, behind his clothes in wardrobe, is there an office at home, receipts?

Cricrichan · 15/02/2018 00:39

It doesn't sound good if he gave you the less funny/cute one. The busiest men in the world have found time to have affairs so that isn't a reason.

But if you ask him he could make up any excuse (though it may be true), so unless he confesses you won't be sure and if he's cheating, he'll cover his tracks more now.

wintermonster · 15/02/2018 00:41

I hope he gave you a valid explanation

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