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Original poster

2 valentines cards

242 replies

Oneandoneontheway · 14/02/2018 23:04

Found 2 cards last night, both blank in my husbands laptop bag. He was away with work today on site. I have been given one card and just checked the bag now & the other card is no longer there. Paranoia or reason to be suspicious?!?!!!!

OP posts:
PNGirl · 15/02/2018 20:27

No worries Bathsheba, just wanted to explain!

jocktamsonsbairn · 15/02/2018 20:32

I'm really sorry op but it doesn't sound good. My ex had an affair with someone at work. He worked away a lot and I would have said he didn't have time, but he did. Started being awful to me and snappy with kids. Sudden passwords on phone etc. I caught him out looking at the CSA website by coming up behind him. Confirmed my cut feeling. But def do your homework too. My x was also on a work trip that bale tones day but after I'd left for work. Neighbours said they saw him all dressed up getting in the car with overnight bag, not his usual work gear.
Examine phone billls, receipts etc. Ply him with a Fe drinks then when he's sleeping soundly use his finger to open his phone.
If you uncover anything, get clever. Put important documents in a safe place and start hiding cash away., cash back every time you go to the supermarket etc. That saved me and shows up on your statement as just the supermarket total.
Good luck. Hope we're all wrong. Here for you if we are right.

MrsMozart · 15/02/2018 20:37

I'm sorry lass. It doesn't sound good. Do you have access to financial docs etc?

stardust18 · 15/02/2018 20:37

Oh OP it doesn't sound good.if you don't think he'll tell you anything. Can you get a look at his iPad/ laptop? Does he get paper telephone bills?

Bathsheba1878 · 15/02/2018 20:50

If you are able to get access to his car it would be worth checking that very thoroughly too. Make sure you look after yourself, it's easy to get swept away by the horrible adrenaline of the situation and forget to eat properly which then blurs your thinking.

DankAShan · 15/02/2018 20:58

Hope this is innocent Sad

KateGrey · 15/02/2018 21:30

I’ve brought double cards before when I’ve forgotten I’ve brought one. I’ve also advised my dh To password protect his phone as we have kids pictures and other stuff could be open on it in case it got stolen. I hope it’s nothing. If he’s being mean to you and the cards I’d be cautious as it sounds a bit suspect x

Original poster
Oneandoneontheway · 15/02/2018 21:38

Just checked his bag yet again,nothing there, so the card has gone from home to London. Its not in the house,have checked all usual places. So either he binned it ( why ? And he wouldn't) or he's given it/posted it to someone else 😢😢😢😢

OP posts:
FuckItPassMeTheWine · 15/02/2018 21:48

OP does he have an iPhone? There's a way that you can bypass the password / lock screen , I think someone posted about it on another thread . I'll try find it

Chocolatefudgecake100 · 15/02/2018 21:59

I hope this has an explination to it

Original poster
Oneandoneontheway · 15/02/2018 22:00

thanks for that , but unfortunately its not an iPhone, its a Samsung.
I have stopped being sad and now feel angry, which is a much more helpful emotion for me. I am going to tackle it Saturday night - regardless of what i do or don't find !!!

OP posts:
Rednailsandnaeknickers · 15/02/2018 22:12

PP said: Don't understand why you wouldn't ask. If this was me I'd ask straight away, how anyone can bide there time is beyond me. Go and ask ..catch him off guard you will know from his reaction if he is telling the truth.

Nope, wrong. If he's an accomplished cheat you would have no idea. They can be so utterly convincing. Could swear on their babies lives they are not cheating and be off with OW within the hour. Some people are just good at deception.

GlitterBurps · 15/02/2018 22:15

Did you see what the cards said OP? Like a pp said if one said wife and the other girlfriend. That’s what my friend found when it happened to her. She also kept it and used it as evidence for her divorce. So if you do see anything take pictures for your records.

whiteroseredrose · 15/02/2018 22:15

I really hope you come back on in the next couple of days with a sound reason for all this.

GlitterBurps · 15/02/2018 22:16

I mean the card from OW she found 2weeks later.

AnchorDownDeepBreath · 15/02/2018 22:23

That iPhone hack doesn't work anymore - it stopped quite a few updates ago.

FuckItPassMeTheWine · 15/02/2018 22:26

@AnchorDownDeepBreath that's odd I tested it on my iPhone and it works , my phone is up to date too 🤔

IWannaSeeHowItEnds · 15/02/2018 22:27

Can you access his phone records online - will alert you to phone numbers called at odd times and give you something to search for.
If you know his skype/fb passwords you could log into his account whole he's asleep and have a look through his messages.
Check your bank and credit card statements - it's hard to have an ow on the go and not spend any money.

rothbury · 15/02/2018 22:49

I would stay quiet but ensure his phone is misplaced in the next couple of days. Then I would see what I could do about getting it unlocked/get SIM out/see what his reaction is.

Does he have Social Media? Mentionitis of anyone?

It doesn't look good though. Flowers

GertieMotherwell · 16/02/2018 02:11

You know what this is.

💐

NerdyBird · 16/02/2018 02:59

Sometimes if you tip a phone to the light in the right way you can see the fingernarks, and this could help decipher the code.

Go through his pockets of clothes in wardrobe, maybe look through drawers in case stuff hidden between things in piles?
I have hidden presents and cards for dh/dc by putting them in the middle of a pile of tshirts etc, and sometimes receipts for gifts.

I would have to do checking of some kind if it were me.

Viviene · 16/02/2018 03:10

My whole life is on my phone, of course it is password protected.

namechangefailed · 16/02/2018 04:37

Op even if you can't get into his phone, do you have access to phone records? Could you see if there are any numbers that pop up consistently? Do some more digging before you confront him, he's only going to deny it. Check your bank records as well.

MrsMotherHen · 16/02/2018 04:51

doesnt look great op. I would to do some more digging.