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Original poster

2 valentines cards

242 replies

Oneandoneontheway · 14/02/2018 23:04

Found 2 cards last night, both blank in my husbands laptop bag. He was away with work today on site. I have been given one card and just checked the bag now & the other card is no longer there. Paranoia or reason to be suspicious?!?!!!!

OP posts:
Bloodyuselessatthinkingofaname · 15/02/2018 12:42

Don't ask - observe carefully ! Go with your gut .

Iwasjustabouttosaythat · 15/02/2018 12:44

I’d be checking he went to work. Did you check the recycling for the card? Bedroom drawer? Where would he have gone to write your name in it?

Re the “men just pick the first thing” thing, not my DP. Last birthday he got me three because he couldn’t choose. That said, I know where the others are kept. They’re not hidden away, but I guess I could see why your DH would hide them if one was meant to be a surprise next year.

IDrinkAndISewThings · 15/02/2018 12:49

Do you have kids? My husband buys a card for me and our daughter, and this year bought one for my daughter to give to her brother, bless. Rule out any innocent reasons for two cards before you go mental. Though I have to say, I don’t think two cards would make someone suspicious normally, unless they had already had such thoughts for other reasons...

FilledSoda · 15/02/2018 12:53

I sometimes buy cards so far in advance that I forget and buy them again.
Check the bin

bitzy12 · 15/02/2018 12:57

If just ask him out right....it's not like you've snooped through his phone or anything. You found it, just really measure his reaction. From his reply you should hopefully be able to tell if there's anything suspicious or not

timeisnotaline · 15/02/2018 13:01

I think I’d be suspicious enough that I wouldn’t ask but would start looking into things. I’d think of some excuse and call his work / him today to check he’s there, to start with.

sparklepops123 · 15/02/2018 13:04

You’ll drive yourself mad until you ask him

PNGirl · 15/02/2018 13:08

What did the other card have on the front out of interest? E.g. The one I love, wife, just Happy Valentines Day?

walkingdowntheboulevard · 15/02/2018 13:10

Jokingly ask him how many cards he got and how many he sent. Also start checking his phone etc.

PatchUp · 15/02/2018 13:11

Don't ask - observe carefully ! Go with your gut

This 👆 don't give him the chance to lie to you.

Magpie18 · 15/02/2018 13:13

I'd ask him if I were you OP, but you need to be prepared - you may not like the answer. It may be something silly, or the start of something- or be very serious. I truly hope it isn't I'm not good at pretending and I'd rather face it full on. Very best wishes x

sirlee66 · 15/02/2018 13:17

I would try to look through his phone/emails before accusing/asking. Not something I would normally do or recommend but you have quite a valid reason to be suspicious!

You don't want to ask him, not feel satisfied and then snoop to find nothing (because he might have deleted it if you ask before hand)

SusanDelfino · 15/02/2018 13:22

The thing that would make me most suspicious is that the second card disappeared with him going on a work trip on Valentine's Day. Was he in touch much during the day? It might all be nothing but the OP says she's been suspicious over the last 12 months so not an isolated thing. On its own two cards aren't that weird.

Chocolate123 · 15/02/2018 13:25

I'd ask him face to face you'll know by his reaction. Suspicious I think though.

DumbleDee · 15/02/2018 13:26

Yes I'd be suspicious. I'd say nothing for the moment though watch and listen

Snowydaysarehere · 15/02/2018 13:29

Has he opportunities to be with ow?

Remote1candles · 15/02/2018 13:29

If I found 2 Valentines cards in my husband's bag, my first thought would be that they had a Buy One get One Half Price deal or similar on! I've ended up with 2 cards for him in the past, when I'd forgotten I'd already bought him one. They probably wouldn't be in the same place though.

Has there been anything else that might make you feel that he likes someone else? Has he been distant, hidden his phone, less affectionate, away with work more often?

Davespecifico · 15/02/2018 13:30

Don’t ask him. Check for other evidence now. Then make your exit plan, if you need to, before he knows you know.

Godowneasy · 15/02/2018 13:43

'Away with work on site today'
Do you know what area he's supposed to be in? Is there any way you could go to that area towards the end of the day, phone him, and say that as it's Valentines Day, you thought you'd surprise him with the intention of any early dinner in that area or an overnight stay in a hotel etc?
It may give you a lot of clues..

Felicitycity · 15/02/2018 13:47

I don't think it's necessarily a problem that he has bought 2 cards. I think it's massively odd that the other one has disappeared. There is possibly and innocent explanation, but if there is I'd expect him to have told you. eg i'm sending this card to X at work as a bit of a joke..........

Thebluedog · 15/02/2018 13:50

Have you checked the bin? He might have decided he didn’t like the other one and thrown it away

Snowydaysarehere · 15/02/2018 14:34

Wonder what %of men dither over the perfect card so buy 2?!!
Can you think of an excuse to ring him this afternoon?

alotalotalot · 15/02/2018 14:37

Did he go to London for the day or overnight?

Keep your hand close to your chest and do some detective work.

alotalotalot · 15/02/2018 14:39

The thing that would make me most suspicious is that the second card disappeared with him going on a work trip on Valentine's Day.

This

FlippingFoal · 15/02/2018 14:51

I'd be more suspicious about the work trip on Valentines Day TBH...