To those of you saying 'DH is lovely'

[BeauMirchoff]

What makes them lovely?
Only asking because my DH is not so lovely and I will soon be leaving him. I had a thread about this and how he didn't care about me.
What does your DH/DP do that makes them lovely? That makes you feel loved and respected? Give me hope that there are still good men out there! Please

I'm sorry op Hope you meet your own lovely oh after a period of time having peace, some fun and only having to please yourself!

He gets up early so he can be home every night for kids' bath time.

I have food allergies so in restaurants DH orders food that I like and if mine arrives with an allergen, he swaps plates with me.

He never criticizes me, is unfailingly kid and supportive.

DH cooks dinner every night. He's not really the type to buy flowers or greeting cards but he is so thoughtful and respectful. If I have a challenging day at work he will text me to wish me luck.

His worst faults are snoring and cluttering the house up with cycling stuff. Do love DH.

Kind

Mine has good points and bad points but is deep down very very kind and lovely. He always wants what's best for me and does little considerate things that show it.

Dh says (I just asked him) that his worst fault is being overly irritable. I think this is true but generally he's great.

Mine is affectionate and loves to hold hands and cuddle lots.

He always mows My lawn as he knows I hate doing it (we don't live together)

He often brings me my favourite flowers.

He tells me I'm beautiful and he loves me every day.

When I was ill recently he came and looked after me for a few days.

He doesn't like cats but he makes a big effort with my one and buys him treats.

My family really like him and they aren't easy to please.

I'm sorry things are hard.

Mine is lovely. He's clever and interesting, there's literally no one I would rather talk to. He supports me and believes in me. He's a proper partner, he does half of the household chores (if not more), he gets up at the same time as me everyday and has a cup of coffee, smoothie and lunch packed for me ready for me to leave the house, he also gathers together my car keys, workpass etc so that it's easy to get out of the house.

In the last couple of weeks since my miscarriage he's literally find everything while i've laid on the sofa crying He's cooked dinner every day, taken me to hospital for follow up appointments, advocated for me when I've been unable to speak for myself, booked me massages, stroked my hair and listened to me cry. He makes me feel safe and loved and he's ridiculously hot He's cleaning the kitchen while I write this.

Over 20 years of marriage he has consistently demonstrated that he values me. I could list individual acts but it's the consistency that counts. I've never felt that he didn't value me regardless of ups and downs.
He makes me feel very safe and cherished.

Wow. These are all lovely.
My 'lovely' H said 'no' when I asked him to help me with something last night. Just a blunt NO. And when I told him how unkind he was being, he said housework was all my responsibility this week because I was at home (half term holiday). But the problem is that I KILL myself in term time. I wanted to rest a bit this week

@Si1ver I'm so sorry to hear about your miscarriage. Your partner sounds wonderful. Sending big hugs your way

I am thankful every day for the beautiful man that I have somehow convinced to be my husband. There are many examples but one recent one you might like - currently 37 weeks pregnant with our first child. It’s been a hell of a pregnancy, a real case of everything going wrong but baby is fine and I’m sitting in hospital now waiting to be induced. He says to me earlier this week, completely randomly (before we knew I would be being induced) ‘thank you for all that you are going through to bring our son into this world’.

He is a genuinely lovely guy. Caring, affectionate, kind hearted and loyal. Not a wet rag either. Okay, so he has his things that drive me crazy but they are not serious and I have many more I am sure that drive him up the wall.

The good men are out there. I was married to one of the nasty ones before so perhaps appreciate DH even more than I would have done otherwise... only by having the really bad experiences are you able to fully appreciate the good ones.

@crunchtime would you mind telling me about one?

His face lights up when he sees me. He brings me coffee in bed every morning. He stacks and empties the dishwasher. He often thinks of meals, buys the ingredients and cooks the meal whilst topping up my as we chat. He mows the grass, hangs out the washing and picks up dog poo.

He makes me feel loved and cherished and says he's the lucky one.

I hope you find love going forward.

I honestly don't know what it means to be valued or cherished. That's why I'm asking all these questions!

I'm always a little bit suspicious of the most wonderful husband. A neighbour of mine had a wonderful husband who earned loads so she said and she didn't need to work ever. He left her high and dry. So what's the point of that. I'm married to a man with faults but I probably have more faults than him.

He's always kind
No matter how stressed, even when he was on the dole and his Dad died, he's never been so much as short with me
Nothing I ask him for help with is too much trouble
Calm and patient
Very affectionate
Never criticises, always bigs me up
Takes an active interest in my work

On the down side he is consistently late but what a small price to pay

My dh approaches our marriage with the view that if I'm happy, he's happy. I'm the same - if he's happy, I'm happy. So we both focus on making sure the other one is getting what they need from life... Which means, on the whole, we are both happy. Sometimes the balance goes out of whack or our circumstances change and we need to rethink what we are doing. So we sit down and talk about it and work out a plan. Everything is very much a partnership.

I have a fiancé not a husband but he’s just amazing. He wants the best for me all the time, he does loads round the house, treats me like a princess, would do anything for anyone (not just me), works really hard, is very loving and affectionate, is just good at everything and hot too! I feel very lucky.

These sound like lovely guys. Op i wish you all the best

Oh he makes my lunch and gathers my phone and stuff together as well. Mine is a second relationship. We both value the peace and happiness we have together after shit and sadness and deceit

@DancesWithOtters he used to be nice, right in the beginning, when I met him. Now he can sit for hours, playing fifa and not even look at me. And whenever he does anything at home, he expects a round of applause. I put it down to being raised without a mother...she died when he was little and his dad is a horrible man, who treated his second wife like shit.

My DH is lovely. Been married 32 years so he must be doing something right! He puts up with me rabbiting on, he works hard to provide for us,
he supported me to leave my job despite hating his, he makes me tea whenever i ask, he cleans up the kitchen/does the dishes without being asked. He will hoover the house if my back hurts. Does all the gardening as i detest it, plays me music i like and pours me wine. I could go on. He isn't perfect but then neither am i. We are a team and we offset each others worse bits and enhance each others good bits.

I like to just be next to him, always have even before we started dating. I feel safe and secure with him. He always does little things like make me cups of tea and gives me lifts. He’s playful and I get to let that side of me come out when I’m with him. He puts me first. He’s kind to vulnerable people, children and animals :) including our weedy rescue cat who he basically went with to humour me, but is secretly soppy about.

He’s handsome and socially capable, I don’t have to worry about him at social gatherings. We share similar values. He goes on country walks, which are not his favourite thing, because I like them. Thinks about his responsibilities re house and chores, does the washing up because I loathe it. Has lots of time for other people and is a supportive friend. Loves me truly.